U pw ,
Cancun this, you
Aloha! Buenos dias! Welcome
home! Let me take your bags! Oh,
what's this? A luggage tag from
Cancun? Vail? St. Croix? How
lovely! I certainly hope you enjoyed
your trip! And I certainly hope you
feel refreshed and ready to take on the
rest of the term after nine days
frolicking on the slopes or in the
warm sun! And I certainly hope you
didn't suffer any CARCINOMAS or
SKIPOLES THROUGH YOUR
FRONTAL LOBES or TROPICAL
Yeah, I'm bitter.
Oh, I took a trip this spring
break as well. Stole away from the
hustle and bustle of academia, from
the dog-eat-bran-muffin existence
that is day to day life in Ann Arbor.
Escaped to the little waterfront hide-
away way down south where I've
spent every spring break since junior
Only "way down south" is about
thirty miles. And the waterfront's
I hail from Monroe, Michigan.
Remember the weekend you and
your friends all piled into a car and
drove down to Toledo because you'd
just turned 19, which enabled you to
buy 3.2 near-beer in Ohio? Remem-
ber that really flat area you drove
through that was kind of like the
repetitive backgrounds for those
Atari road rally video games, where
the same sets of billboards and road-
side trees would flash by every five
That's Monroe. Named for Presi-
dent James Monroe, in preparation
for his upcoming visit to the
Northwest Territory. The prez never
showed up, but the name stuck.
Whenever I get rejected by a girl, I
can't help but feel a surge of patrio-
tism. My home. The town that got
And my vacation spot. The only
rays I caught last week were cathode
rays, enjoying 46 channels of glori-
ous cablevision in the bosom of my
Don't get me wrong - I love
my family, and I wouldn't trade a
moment spent with them for any-
thing in the world. I love getting to
talk to my parents and playing with
my nieces. I spent 18 relatively
well-adjusted years in Monroe,
thanks to my Mom and Dad. But it
would be nice if some break I could
afford to go - Mom, stop that.
Stop crying, Mom. I was only -
Mom, there's no need to get out the
will - look, I'm sorry I referred to
Ann Arbor as "home" - yes, of
course I still love you, Mom, I -
- anyway, suffice it to say that
my visit home was "relaxing." I
slept in, enjoyed home cooking, got
spit upon by my three-month-old
niece, and, in general, managed to
prepare my angst-ridden soul for an-
other heapin' helpin' of
weltschmertz collegiate-style on my
return. Basically a low-yield week in
the stress points department. Except,
that is, for the AWKWARD EN-
COUNTER WITH THE HIGH
I don't own a car, so I like to
take advantage of the opportunity to
just go for a drive when I'm in
Monroe. I went into the garage,
hopped into the family gredunza, and
turned the borrowed key. Turned on
the radio instinctively:
Well, I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
I'm not making this up. If my
life were a movie, I'd fire the sound-
track co-ordinator. Oh, that song
holds memories for me, all right -
memories of when it hit the air-
waves and myself and millions of
other small town teenagers reached
for our collective barf bags. I can be
myself livin' in that small town/
And people let me be just what I
wanna be. What small town are we
referring to, Mr. Mellencamp?
No, sorry. If you want to find
small-town America, you don't look
in the cornfields. You look at the
mall. Which was where I was
This, this is America. It's open
from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. seven days a
week. It's where your dreams are
payable on a monthly basis, the kids
look exactly the same, and the food
is phonetically spelled. And if you're
from Monroe, it's where three-quar-
ters of your graduating class now
That's where I was, standing in
Waldenbooks, doing the traditional
power-read, trying to make it
through a "Life In Hell" book before
the manager yelled at me. And then
"Hey! How's it goin'?"
"Hey! How you doin"' - Don?
Tom? It's got that "ah" sound.
Pleasepleaseplease let it be Tom -
."Don!" - Christ - "just
hangin' out in the mall, huh?"
"Yeah, well, you know, that's
life in exciting Monroe. How's col-
"Oh, uh, yeah. I mean, great.
Good. Keeping busy. How do you
"I'm not going to school."
Oh, Jesus, I'm so stupid - "Oh,
so, just" - no, not "just," you col-
lege jerk - "So you like work?"
God, if he's unemployed I'll kill
myself right here...
"Yeah, it's OK. Getting married
to Jackie next year."
The sweat marks on the paper-
back have just become permanent.
"Well, bye, Don."
We part. But neither of us leaves
the book store. And awkward phe-
nomenon Number Two occurs. The
ANP i- 5 pcr@S C o EFTg.EP E4 THERE l- NQ GW P PACN(, 5NOv
Continued from Page 6
clined, the New York Times actually
published an editorial in regret of her
decision. But when Selznick saw
Vivien Leigh, who was then acting
so she could travel with her then-
lover Laurence Olivier, he knew she
would be perfect for the role.
Aside from casting, there were
other problems with the film. Al-
though Sidney Howard is given sole
credit for the screenplay, upwards of
a dozen different men worked on it at
various times, including Ben Hecht
and F. Scott Fitzgerald. And Howard
died in an accident prior to the com-
pletion of filming, further hamper-
ing the picture.
There were also three directors
who worked on the film. George
Cukor (The Philadelphia Story)
started the project, only to be re-
placed by Victor Fleming, who had
earlier completed The Wizard of Oz.
After working a short time on Gone
With The Wind, Fleming suffered a
nervous breakdown, and was replaced
by Sam Wood, who directed Good-
bye, Mr. Chips.
Like Howard, Fleming was given
sole credit for his work on the film.
At the Academy Awards Ceremony
that year, both Howard and Fleming
won Oscars, but neither of them
showed up to accept the honor.
Howard was dead and Fleming was
annoyed at Selznick for taking too
much of the credit for the film's
store has now become too
for the both of us. We duti-
try to pretend that we each
the other has left. I detour
Psychology/Self-help. He de-
down Humor. But we're
clumsy, and find ourselves staring
down each other at opposite ends of
the main aisle. We roll our eyes,
make the obligatory oh - boy - isn't-
life - funny - aren't - we - a - pair -
of- schmucks faces. I put Matt
Groening back on the shelf and
surrender the territory. It's rightfully
his now, anyway.
$E KE N0
OFF THE WALL
Twenty-four Years ago...
March 10, 1965
"SELMA, Ala (AP) - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. defied a federal
court ruling and a plea by President Lyndon B. Johnson and staged a
massive right-to-vote march yesterday.
"State troopers turned back the marchers in a tension-filled
"...[King] said a second pilgrimage from Selma to Montgomery, 50
miles away, would be attempted next week."
Seventy-four Years ago...
March 10, 1915
"'Should Military Training for Students Be Introduced at Michigan?'
will be the subject for discussion at the fourth meeting of the Fo-
"Following the recent agitation on the campus for military drill at
Michigan, a petition was presented to one of the meetings of the board of
regents, but it was tabled indefinitely."
Items in the Weekend Almanac are culled from past
issues of the Daily on this date in history. All
articles are taken from Daily files which are open to
public review in the Daily' s library.
I like to reason my life - or do I
merely reason my life away?
I've got one semster left and I intend
to relearn the true meaning in life:
Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll.
Bushenomics: The economy for the
conservative, wealthy, assholes.
- Graduate Library
Grime against the state
- Tower Plaza Condominiums
And, finally, a special entry, mailed
to Weekend Magazine by Aric
Smith, a first-year Dental student.
He found the following etched into a
table in the Medical Sciences I1
Jesus is Lord
SKLT4WAb £7 ZINN
10 C-c s - - -
Aftl* MUE D NNO.~
Continued from Page 5
All this, however, is not enough to
make "Life Without Zoe" a pleasant
film to watch.
Fortunately, New York Stories is
rescued by Woody Allen's masterful
"Oedipus Wrecks." This film marks
a return by Allen to making the kind
of movies which brought him such
wide acclaim in the '70s. Like his
best films back then, this one syn-
thesizes accessible yet brilliant hu-
mor, wry social commentary, and in-
jokes only truly understood by
intellectual Jewish New Yorkers into
a deliriously enjoyable cinematic
Some critics, notably one from
the New York Times, have commit-
ted the heinous crime of revealing
this film's hilarious plot; rest as-
sured, I will not follow suit. Suffice
it to say that Allen plays Sheldon
Mills, nee Millstein, a lawyer who
seems bent on renouncing his Jew-
ish heritage. Not surprisingly, his
mother (Mae Questel, known as the
voice of both Betty Boop and Olive
Oyl) is unhappy with her son; she is
especially dismayed that he is en-
gaged to Lisa (Mia Farrow), a sedate
blond WASP. Sheldon's mother
greets him with lines like "Gee, you
look terrible" and shows his baby
pictures to everyone she meets.
In "Oedipus Wrecks," Allen es-
sentially makes fun of himself and
his recent preoccupation with WASP
culture as seen throughout his career
and especially in films like Interiors,
Another Woman, and September.
This comes as quite a relief - it's
nice to see that he still hasn't lost
his great affinity for his New York
Jewish background. Let's hope he
Heather McComb and Giancarlo Giannini fail to please in the
one weak link of New York Stories.
W ever you need copies, depend on
kinko's.for quality, timely service
Over 400 years ago in
"Claddagh" County, Galway,
Ireland a fisherman
presented this ring to his
bride as a wedding band.
The hands are for friendship.
The crown for loyalty and
the heart is for love.
The Irish Claddagh has
become a universal symbol
of Love, Friendship & Loyalty.
Stop in and select from our
complete line of Claddagh Jewelry
in gold and silver.
" Specialty Paper
the copy center
Open 24 Hours
1220 S. University
Open 24 Hours
540 E. Liberty
Open 7 Days
PAGE 10 WEEKEND/MARCH 10,1989
WEEKEND/MARCH 10, 1989