MARCH 1989 Life And Art
U. THE NATIONAL COLLEGE NEWSPAPER 13
Today's array of sappy sit-coms
needs a strong shot of real life
By Kirsten Phillippe
The Review
U. of Delaware
Families haven't changed from the
1950s to the 1980s - they're still per-
feet and still all seem to have it made.
TV Commentary
Take the Cleavers. June always wore
those pretty skirts, made the Beaver's
bed and treated the boys to milk and
P Ehomemade cookies.
enjoythe 3movie, fe Creature from te Black Lagoon, shown at the U. of Florida Foot.
And though the Brady family may
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ESCAPE CWB 373787 OZZY OSBOURNE 373308 JAMES TAYLOR 365189
WILD WILD WEST .'anea No Rest For The Wicked [ N Rever Die Young [u.
DAVID LEE ROTH 365130 TAYLOR DAYNE 364711 THE ALARM 364075
SKYSCRAPER =~w~nosa Tll It To My Heart * Eye OfQThe Hurricane [R.
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DEPECHE MODE 36574 PEEN ERSn
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YOU CAN DANCE ®i Music For The Masses rsi THE SINGLES i
STEVE WINWOOD 362525 GEORGE MICHAEL 362228 BELINDA CARLISLE 362129
CHRONICLES i FAITH ® . Heaven On Earth 1iE9
LTiTE ET 373720 THErPSYCHeEI URnS32136 AWILLIE NELSON 372128
LET IT ROLL A OThs And Nothig WhaA Wonderul World te
That's right! You just can't get more music for less money.
The Columbia Record & Tape Club offers great music at an unbeatable price. Join
now and get any 12 cassettes for only a penny! Just mail the application together
with your check or money order for $1.86 as payment (that's 12 selections for only a
penny, plus $1.85 to cover shipping and handling). In exchange, you agree to buy 8
more selections (at regular Club prices) in the next 3 years-and you may cancel
membership anytime after doing so.
How the Club works: every four weeks (13 times a year) you'll receive the Club's
music magazine. which describes the Selection of tbe Month...plus hundreds of
SIternatives from every field of music. Up to 6 times a year you may also receive
ffers of Special Selections, usually at a discount off regular Club prices, for a total
of up to 19 buying opportunities.
If you wish to receive the Selection of the Month or the Special Selection, you
don') have to do anything-it will be shipped automatically. If you prefer an alternate
selection, or none at all, just fill in the response card always provided and mail it by
the date specified. You will always have at least 10 days to make your decision. If
you ever receive any Selection without having 10 days, return it at our expense.
The selections you order as a member will be billed at re ular Club prices, which
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and classical selections may be somewhat higher) An if you continue after
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o 60% off regular Club prices-only $3.98. Enclose payment now and you II
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OR-IF YOU PREFER, YOU MAY TAKE
8 COMPACT DISCS FOR 10
You may choose to enroll in the CBS Compact Disc Club and get any 8 CDs for 1c,
plus shipping and handling. You have scores of CDs to choose from, since most
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As a special offer to new members, take one additional CD right now and we'll bill
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The CBS Compact Disc Club works in the same manner as the Columbia
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informatic. above.
rSelectior two numbers count as two selections-write each number in a separate box.
369371 'uestresApe
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Woi U plusshipping and handlingI
with member ship
CBS/Columbia House, 1400 N. Fruitridge
RO. Box 1130,Terre Haute, Indiana 47811-11301
I PREFER CASSETTES-so enroll me in the Columbia Record & Tape Clubunder
the terms outlined. I am enclosingcheck or money order for$1.86 (that's 1C for my I
first 12 selections, plus $1.85 shipping and handling). I agree to buy 8 selections, at
regular Club prices, inthe next 3 years-and mayvcancel membership after doing so
Also send my first selection for up to a 60% discount, for which I am also
Q L enclosing additional paymentuof$3.98. 1 then need buy
ly 7 r n teado8at reguarClubpricesinthe nextthree
years
This discount purchase entities
SE6/WS me to these 2cassettes FREE!
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plusshipping and handling I
with membership I
Q-I PREFER CDs so enroll me in the CBS Compact Disc Club
under the terms outlined in this advertisement. I am to be billed 1c plus shipping and
handling for 8 CDs-and I agree to buy 6 more, at regular Clubprincesinthe next three
years-and may cancelmembership anytime after doing so.
I Advance Bonus Offer. Also send me one more CD right
now for which I will be billed an additional $6.95.
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OQHARD ROCK OSOFT ROCK [QPOP LQCOUNTRY
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02U H Fleetwood Mac BarbraSreisand Q
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-I Metalica. Freddie Jackson, Johnny Mathis.
. Ozzy Osbourne Luther Vandross Ray Conniff CLASSICA*
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have had their share of ups and downs,
they managed to pull together to form a
near-perfect family unit - even though
the kids were a bit weird and parents
were goofy.
And they allliked each other so much.
Looking at my family, I've been per-
plexed. I don't know what happened to
us. My mom only made cookies on holi-
days and wore dresses for weddings. My
brothers and sisters and I always
fought. Sometimes we even said we
hated each other. (Gasp!)
What's the problem?
At first I thought that these TV fami-
lies were the products of different eras,
different values.
But then, I took a look at the families
the networks offer to us today. They're
just as mushy as those families inFami-
ly Affair and Father Knows Best.
But, as young movers and shakers in
this modern world, we have a chance to
change unrealistic and unrelatable
programming. Here are a few sugges-
tions:
Family Ties: Of course the Keatons
have their problems now and then.
Sometimes, they even yell at each other,
but when that happens, they all hug
each other and it never happens again.
Possible Keaton scenario taken from
the normal family: Jennifer confiscates
Mallory's favorite sweater and tries to
wear it to a school dance. Mallory finds
out as Jennifer is about to leave, and
after embarrassing Jennifer in front of
her friends, drags her upstairs and rips
off the sweater. "Give it back to me you
brat," Mallory whines, twisting Jennif-
er's arm. Jennifer, noticeably upset,
pegs Mallory on the side of the face with
a Reebok, inflicting a black eye.
Hey, it happens. -
The Cosby Show: Now this is the per-
fect family, together fighting racial
stereotypes and fashion bankruptcy.
Mr. Cosby would be the perfect dad - so
funny and understanding. I can't be-
lieve a family with four girls would not
have to suffer through the humiliation
of hand-me-downs or fight over the
bathroom every morning.
Cosby scenario: Mr. Cosby, lying on
the couch after a long day of work, is
rudely awakened by Rudy and her
friend Peter. Rudy jumps on her father's
stomach. "Daddy, do the bear, do the
bear," Rudy says. "Get the heck off me,
Rudy," Mr. Cosby says, pushing Rudy
away. Embarrassed, Rudy runs up-
stairs and slams her door, screaming, "I
hate you Daddy!" through the door. Mr.
Cosby goes upstairs to give Rudy a
spanking.
The Hogan Family (also known as
Valerie's Family): The Hogans have a
different family structure, consisting of
three handsome young men, Dad and
Dad's overbearing sister, but it's just as
saccharine-sweet as the rest.
The producers had a perfect chance to
change this show. When Mom left, they
should have thought of something a bit
more creative than death. (Was Mom
having an affair? Did Mom have a men-
tal breakdown? Was she just plain ol
tired of living with four members of the
opposite sex?)
Hogan scenario: They're all boys.
Why not have a bigbrawl every once in a
while?
But then the Hogans wouldn't be per-
fect. And that wouldn't be TV.