MARCH 1989 Life And Art U. THE NATIONAL COLLEGE NEWSPAPER 13 Today's array of sappy sit-coms needs a strong shot of real life By Kirsten Phillippe The Review U. of Delaware Families haven't changed from the 1950s to the 1980s - they're still per- feet and still all seem to have it made. TV Commentary Take the Cleavers. June always wore those pretty skirts, made the Beaver's bed and treated the boys to milk and P Ehomemade cookies. enjoythe 3movie, fe Creature from te Black Lagoon, shown at the U. of Florida Foot. And though the Brady family may b:* / b Y so jo01in s METALL/CA t372805 Selections marked with a. are not available on CD. AndJustce For All ®92803 ESCAPE CWB 373787 OZZY OSBOURNE 373308 JAMES TAYLOR 365189 WILD WILD WEST .'anea No Rest For The Wicked [ N Rever Die Young [u. DAVID LEE ROTH 365130 TAYLOR DAYNE 364711 THE ALARM 364075 SKYSCRAPER =~w~nosa Tll It To My Heart * Eye OfQThe Hurricane [R. ennc^n_ ^^^^" - "- - - w R3 ~ 3HFR362665 FOREIGNER Sb' ii Isidee Inoration SWN an~seeSTREET 1~~ r- 9" qRMADONNA .. DEPECHE MODE 36574 PEEN ERSn 36241 YOU CAN DANCE ®i Music For The Masses rsi THE SINGLES i STEVE WINWOOD 362525 GEORGE MICHAEL 362228 BELINDA CARLISLE 362129 CHRONICLES i FAITH ® . Heaven On Earth 1iE9 LTiTE ET 373720 THErPSYCHeEI URnS32136 AWILLIE NELSON 372128 LET IT ROLL A OThs And Nothig WhaA Wonderul World te That's right! You just can't get more music for less money. The Columbia Record & Tape Club offers great music at an unbeatable price. Join now and get any 12 cassettes for only a penny! Just mail the application together with your check or money order for $1.86 as payment (that's 12 selections for only a penny, plus $1.85 to cover shipping and handling). In exchange, you agree to buy 8 more selections (at regular Club prices) in the next 3 years-and you may cancel membership anytime after doing so. How the Club works: every four weeks (13 times a year) you'll receive the Club's music magazine. which describes the Selection of tbe Month...plus hundreds of SIternatives from every field of music. Up to 6 times a year you may also receive ffers of Special Selections, usually at a discount off regular Club prices, for a total of up to 19 buying opportunities. If you wish to receive the Selection of the Month or the Special Selection, you don') have to do anything-it will be shipped automatically. If you prefer an alternate selection, or none at all, just fill in the response card always provided and mail it by the date specified. You will always have at least 10 days to make your decision. If you ever receive any Selection without having 10 days, return it at our expense. The selections you order as a member will be billed at re ular Club prices, which currently are $7.98 to $9.98-plus shipping and handling. Multi-unit sets, special and classical selections may be somewhat higher) An if you continue after completing your enrollment agreement, you'll be eligible for our bonus plan. 10-Day Risk-Free Trial: we'll send details of the Club's operation with your introductory shipment. If you are not satisfied for any reason just return everything within 10 days for a full retund and you will have no further obligation. Order your first selection now at a big discount-and get 2 extra cassettes FREE! You may also choose your first selection right now-we'll give it to you for up o 60% off regular Club prices-only $3.98. Enclose payment now and you II receive it with your introductory cassettes. This discount purchase immediately reduces your membership obligation-you then need buy just 7 more (instead of ) in three years. What's more, this discount purchase entitles you to 2 more cassettes as a bonus, FREE. Just check the box in the application and indicate your first selection and 2 free bonus cassettes. OR-IF YOU PREFER, YOU MAY TAKE 8 COMPACT DISCS FOR 10 You may choose to enroll in the CBS Compact Disc Club and get any 8 CDs for 1c, plus shipping and handling. You have scores of CDs to choose from, since most selections are now available on Compact Discs. Just write in the numbers of the 8 CDs you want and mail the application. Send no money now! We'll bill you 1C for your CDs, plus shipping and handling. In exchange, you agree to buy (ust six CDs in the next three years at regular Club prices (which currently are $12.98-$15.98, plus shipping and handling)-and you may cancel anytime after buying six CDs. If you decide to continue as a member, youl be eligible for our bonus plan, which lets you buy one CD at half price for each CD you buy at regular Club prices. As a special offer to new members, take one additional CD right now and we'll bill you only $x95. It's a chance to get a ninth selection at a super low price! The CBS Compact Disc Club works in the same manner as the Columbia Record & *pe Club, so read the "How the Club works" and "10-Day Risk-Free Trial" informatic. above. rSelectior two numbers count as two selections-write each number in a separate box. 369371 'uestresApe I----- - - - - - - - - Woi U plusshipping and handlingI with member ship CBS/Columbia House, 1400 N. Fruitridge RO. Box 1130,Terre Haute, Indiana 47811-11301 I PREFER CASSETTES-so enroll me in the Columbia Record & Tape Clubunder the terms outlined. I am enclosingcheck or money order for$1.86 (that's 1C for my I first 12 selections, plus $1.85 shipping and handling). I agree to buy 8 selections, at regular Club prices, inthe next 3 years-and mayvcancel membership after doing so Also send my first selection for up to a 60% discount, for which I am also Q L enclosing additional paymentuof$3.98. 1 then need buy ly 7 r n teado8at reguarClubpricesinthe nextthree years This discount purchase entities SE6/WS me to these 2cassettes FREE! SE7/EM I plusshipping and handling I with membership I Q-I PREFER CDs so enroll me in the CBS Compact Disc Club under the terms outlined in this advertisement. I am to be billed 1c plus shipping and handling for 8 CDs-and I agree to buy 6 more, at regular Clubprincesinthe next three years-and may cancelmembership anytime after doing so. I Advance Bonus Offer. Also send me one more CD right now for which I will be billed an additional $6.95. SE8/F6 SE9/F7I My mainmusicalinterest isl(check one): (But Imay alwayschoose from anycategory) OQHARD ROCK OSOFT ROCK [QPOP LQCOUNTRY Va vHnalen. Steve Winwood. Brr anlw 02U H Fleetwood Mac BarbraSreisand Q c HEAVY METAL U BLACK MUSIC EnASY LISTENINGO -I Metalica. Freddie Jackson, Johnny Mathis. . Ozzy Osbourne Luther Vandross Ray Conniff CLASSICA* oL IMr. Q Mrs. ( Miss FirstName Initia iLastName S Addrss Apt. 01City State 7ip I Do you have a telephone? (01) EltYES [ NO Do you have a VCR? (04) QlYESl n NOb Do you have a credit card? (03) Q YES iNO 141/89 Nte we reservethe right o rejectanyapplatonor ala nymmerhpOffesnot vable in APO P SAppiicable sales tax added to al orders*ciassical members serviced by the CBS Classi calavub have had their share of ups and downs, they managed to pull together to form a near-perfect family unit - even though the kids were a bit weird and parents were goofy. And they allliked each other so much. Looking at my family, I've been per- plexed. I don't know what happened to us. My mom only made cookies on holi- days and wore dresses for weddings. My brothers and sisters and I always fought. Sometimes we even said we hated each other. (Gasp!) What's the problem? At first I thought that these TV fami- lies were the products of different eras, different values. But then, I took a look at the families the networks offer to us today. They're just as mushy as those families inFami- ly Affair and Father Knows Best. But, as young movers and shakers in this modern world, we have a chance to change unrealistic and unrelatable programming. Here are a few sugges- tions: Family Ties: Of course the Keatons have their problems now and then. Sometimes, they even yell at each other, but when that happens, they all hug each other and it never happens again. Possible Keaton scenario taken from the normal family: Jennifer confiscates Mallory's favorite sweater and tries to wear it to a school dance. Mallory finds out as Jennifer is about to leave, and after embarrassing Jennifer in front of her friends, drags her upstairs and rips off the sweater. "Give it back to me you brat," Mallory whines, twisting Jennif- er's arm. Jennifer, noticeably upset, pegs Mallory on the side of the face with a Reebok, inflicting a black eye. Hey, it happens. - The Cosby Show: Now this is the per- fect family, together fighting racial stereotypes and fashion bankruptcy. Mr. Cosby would be the perfect dad - so funny and understanding. I can't be- lieve a family with four girls would not have to suffer through the humiliation of hand-me-downs or fight over the bathroom every morning. Cosby scenario: Mr. Cosby, lying on the couch after a long day of work, is rudely awakened by Rudy and her friend Peter. Rudy jumps on her father's stomach. "Daddy, do the bear, do the bear," Rudy says. "Get the heck off me, Rudy," Mr. Cosby says, pushing Rudy away. Embarrassed, Rudy runs up- stairs and slams her door, screaming, "I hate you Daddy!" through the door. Mr. Cosby goes upstairs to give Rudy a spanking. The Hogan Family (also known as Valerie's Family): The Hogans have a different family structure, consisting of three handsome young men, Dad and Dad's overbearing sister, but it's just as saccharine-sweet as the rest. The producers had a perfect chance to change this show. When Mom left, they should have thought of something a bit more creative than death. (Was Mom having an affair? Did Mom have a men- tal breakdown? Was she just plain ol tired of living with four members of the opposite sex?) Hogan scenario: They're all boys. Why not have a bigbrawl every once in a while? But then the Hogans wouldn't be per- fect. And that wouldn't be TV.