FEBRUARY 1989 Life And Art U. THE NATIONAL COLLEGE NEWSPAPER 9
Retiring for a needed evening of wine, women and whine(s)
By Carolyn Alessio 2. WHY OUR MALE FRIENDS ARE EMBAR-
The Daily Illini RASSED TO ORDER WINE COOLERS FOR US
U. of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana AT BARS: "What's wrong with Matilda
Okay, we admit it. My roommates Bay?" someone screeched. "Is BEER in-
and I stole the idea for our Bitch Dinner finitely more cool, or ia it juat a lot
from an article in Glamour magazine. cheaper?"
So go ahead and bitch about us pla- 3. WHY OUR PARENTS/GRANTS-IN-AID ARE
giarizing, but you won't feel nearly as INCAPABLE OF CONTRIBUTING ANOTHER
satisfied as we did. CENT TO OUR ONGOING EDUCATION: "My
The Glamour article outlined how parents claim they just don't have the
several New York career women get funds to give me," whined C., "yet they
together once a month to eat excessively just installed phones in our BATH-
caloric food and gripe about everything ROOMS at home."
from "husbands and lovers, jobs and
bosses and Ronald Reagan to the dry Of course, this is only a small sample
cleaner who puts in more stains than he of our barrage of complaints. Technical-
removes." ly, I am not at liberty to divulge any-
In short, at every meeting these thing further, according to our Oath of
women articulate every "catty, small- Confidentiality. I've violated it enough
minded, bilious thing they dare not already, so I have a feeling that my
*oice elsewhere." transgressions will be a main target at
The Glamour article proved helpful our next dinner. "Bitch Dinner" participants score their gripes while eating "excessively caloric" food.
in planning our sinister shindig. After
much deliberation, my roommates and I
finally compiled a list of 10 friends who
exhibited great potential to gorge and
gripe for an entire evening.
I stress the word "potential" (to
bitch); as we assured all skeptical and
embittered boyfriends and male
friends, this dinner was not a banding
*ogether of bonafide bad women, but a ;
meeting of average, amiable college
women who were merely taking the
opportunity to vent personal grie-
vances, frustrations, peeves, etc.
Simply put, the Bitch Dinner was a
form of communal catharsis.
One obstacle we faced was the fact
that no stores carry invites to a Bitch O
Dinner. Fortunately, we were able to
D shion our own:
HAT: First Official Bitch Dinner, or an
Evening of Wine, Women and Whine(s).
WHERE: Our apartment. Find it.
WHEN: You should know that already.
Be on time.
BRING: Gripes ad nauseum, money for
food. Midol (optional).
RSVP: Blow us off and we'll bitch about
The author of the Glamour article
umbered her most memorable topics of
iscussion, including "Things All Men
Deserve To Be Ridiculed For." Just for
the sake of proving that we possess
SOME originality and initiative, I've
listed a few of ours.
1. WHY WE NEVER WIN LOTTERIES OR
CLEARINGHOUSE SWEEPSTAKES: "I enter
contests all the time," griped S., "but all
I've ever won is a Dirty Dancing cas-
Continued From Page 8
"This year I feel more comfortable in
terms of going back to school and spend-
ing time with my daughter. It's really
hard - school is every day, all the time.
You bring it home with you," Tamplin
Heather has benefitted from her
tm's lifestyle, Tamplin said. "Since
I've gone back to school she spends more
time with her studies. It's like we're
Darci Jones, the mother of two daugh-
ters, Niki, 11, and Brooke, 12, said it is
difficult to find supervision for older
children because of their different
needs. She said her daughters are too
*d for day care but she doesn't feel com-
fortable leaving them home alone.
"My answer to that is - whatever I'm
doing on campus (in the evening) - I
bring them with me," Jones said.
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