FEBRUARY 1989 Life And Art U. THE NATIONAL COLLEGE NEWSPAPER 9 Retiring for a needed evening of wine, women and whine(s) By Carolyn Alessio 2. WHY OUR MALE FRIENDS ARE EMBAR- The Daily Illini RASSED TO ORDER WINE COOLERS FOR US U. of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana AT BARS: "What's wrong with Matilda Okay, we admit it. My roommates Bay?" someone screeched. "Is BEER in- and I stole the idea for our Bitch Dinner finitely more cool, or ia it juat a lot from an article in Glamour magazine. cheaper?" So go ahead and bitch about us pla- 3. WHY OUR PARENTS/GRANTS-IN-AID ARE giarizing, but you won't feel nearly as INCAPABLE OF CONTRIBUTING ANOTHER satisfied as we did. CENT TO OUR ONGOING EDUCATION: "My The Glamour article outlined how parents claim they just don't have the several New York career women get funds to give me," whined C., "yet they together once a month to eat excessively just installed phones in our BATH- caloric food and gripe about everything ROOMS at home." from "husbands and lovers, jobs and bosses and Ronald Reagan to the dry Of course, this is only a small sample cleaner who puts in more stains than he of our barrage of complaints. Technical- removes." ly, I am not at liberty to divulge any- In short, at every meeting these thing further, according to our Oath of women articulate every "catty, small- Confidentiality. I've violated it enough minded, bilious thing they dare not already, so I have a feeling that my *oice elsewhere." transgressions will be a main target at The Glamour article proved helpful our next dinner. "Bitch Dinner" participants score their gripes while eating "excessively caloric" food. in planning our sinister shindig. After much deliberation, my roommates and I finally compiled a list of 10 friends who exhibited great potential to gorge and gripe for an entire evening. I stress the word "potential" (to bitch); as we assured all skeptical and embittered boyfriends and male friends, this dinner was not a banding *ogether of bonafide bad women, but a ; meeting of average, amiable college women who were merely taking the opportunity to vent personal grie- vances, frustrations, peeves, etc. Simply put, the Bitch Dinner was a form of communal catharsis. One obstacle we faced was the fact that no stores carry invites to a Bitch O Dinner. Fortunately, we were able to D shion our own: HAT: First Official Bitch Dinner, or an Evening of Wine, Women and Whine(s). WHERE: Our apartment. Find it. WHEN: You should know that already. Be on time. BRING: Gripes ad nauseum, money for food. Midol (optional). RSVP: Blow us off and we'll bitch about you. The author of the Glamour article umbered her most memorable topics of iscussion, including "Things All Men Deserve To Be Ridiculed For." Just for the sake of proving that we possess SOME originality and initiative, I've listed a few of ours. 1. WHY WE NEVER WIN LOTTERIES OR CLEARINGHOUSE SWEEPSTAKES: "I enter contests all the time," griped S., "but all I've ever won is a Dirty Dancing cas- .ette." Students Continued From Page 8 easy. "This year I feel more comfortable in terms of going back to school and spend- ing time with my daughter. It's really hard - school is every day, all the time. You bring it home with you," Tamplin ~id. Heather has benefitted from her tm's lifestyle, Tamplin said. "Since I've gone back to school she spends more time with her studies. It's like we're learning together." 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