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December 01, 1988 - Image 5

Resource type:
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Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1988-12-01

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PERSPECTIVE S
The Michigan Daily Thursday, December 1, 1988 Page5

Duderstadt stars in A

Christmas Carol

BY STEVE KNOPPER
AND MARK SHAIMAN
With kudos to Charles Dickens
and Bill Murray.
It was the day before Winter
Break at the University of Michigan,
and people from all over campus
were getting into the holiday spirit.
Students were hanging mistletoe
next to the plastic memo boards on
their dorm room doors. Faculty
members, in a measure of good
faith, extended their office hours
from 30 to 40 minutes a week. And
everybody was getting ready to fin-
ish finals, go home, and wind up
face down in the gutter after a bitter
egg nog experience.
But up in a little corner office on
the fourth floor of the Fleming
Building, a tall, red-haired man with
tiny spectacles was hard at work be-
hind his desk. As usual, he was
holed up in his office, working and
working.
"Bah!" said J. Ebenezer Duder-
stadt, president of the illustrious
University. "Holidays! What's the
point? They're just a lousy excuse
for people to stop doing work and go
home."
Outside his office, students, pro-
fessors, secretaries and vice presi-
dents were having their annual party
on the Diag. As usual, they invited
the president to come; and as usual,
'he didn't show.
It was quite a bash, though.
Hundreds of people filled the Diag,
anxiously awaiting the unveiling of
the new Chemistry Building, which
sported reindeer wrapping paper and a
big blue ribbon.
Faculty members kidded students
about grading them down because of
typos on their title pages. Students
admitted that they never came to
lectures, anyway. But they all gave
each other presents, let loose, and
had a good time.
All except Ebenezer, who was
watching the party via telescope
from his office. "Poor saps," he
grumbled. "They should be studying!
Or doing research! Or writing disser-
tations! I'll have to change the Diag
party rules again."
In disgust, he spun away from the
window and planted himself behind
his desk to count University budget
money.
After another half hour of count-
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ing, Ebenezer began to hear strange
voices. At first, he tried to dismiss
them as hallucinations caused by
hard work.
But soon, they were louder and
louder, and he thought he recognized
the voice. "Stop!" he said. "Leave
me alone! What do you want from
me?"
He whirled around in his chair,
only to see a kempt, blue-suited man
with graying hair and round glasses..
He was wearing a black-and-orange
sweater with a Princeton University
pin.
"I know you!" Ebenezer said.
"You're Harold Shapiro. I was your
vice president."
"You have a good memory,
Ebenezer," former President Shapiro
said. "I'm here to teach you what
I've learned. Remember the students!
And the faculty members! They're
out having fun, and you're stuck in
here."
Ebenezer frowned. "What are you

talking about?" he asked.
"You will be visited by three
ghosts tonight: the ghosts of Uni-
versities past, present, and yet to
come."
Suddenly, Shapiro was gone, in a
puff of smoke. Ebenezer sat behind
his desk, gaping at the piles of bud-
get money with his mouth open.
"He must know something," Ebe-
nezer said. "After all, he moved to
New Jersey, a party state if I've ever
heard one."
But Ebenezer dismissed the ap-
parition, and spent the entire night
in his office counting money to
make up for the wasted time.
"Five-hundred forty-four million,
seven-hundred-and-three thousand and
four," he said as the clock struck
twelve.
Suddenly, a booming laugh e-
choed out and the ghost of former
President Robben Fleming appeared
to match the voice. "I am the ghost
of University past," Fleming said.

"I'm here to show you what Univer-
sity life shouldn't be. Follow me."
Ebenezer soon found himself in
his old college dorm room. There
was a party going on around him,
but in the corner sat a single student,
calculator in hand, working out fluid
dynamics problems. It was Ebenezer
as a young man.
"School isn't supposed to be fun.
It's work," Ebenezer screamed. Then
he found himself in his office again.
He walked to the window. "Those
people messing around out there on
the Diag won't continue if I can help
it!"
Then, Fleming disappeared and
was replaced by eight new ghosts of
the present - the shades of the
Board of Regents.
"We need you to play ball with
us, Ebenezer," the regents said.
"You'll make the ninth on our soft-
ball team. We'll even let you be the
pitcher."
"Never! I'm much too busy!"

Ebenezer said. "You should know
that the president has no time for
fun."
"You are striking out, then," the
Regents replied. Then they unani-
mously voted to disappear, and when
the smoke cleared, one lone figure
stood before Ebenezer.
"All right, who are you?" Ebe-
nezer queried.
The spirit was mild-mannered and
quiet. He, too, wore glasses, and
carried a copy of the Engineering
Course Guide.
"I'm Charlie Vest, and I'll be
your new vice president." The spirit
motioned for Ebenezer to follow
him. They left the Fleming Build-
ing, passed the Diag, and went up
the steps of the Graduate Library.
"See these students?" asked the
ghost of University future. "All they
know how to do is work! You've
got to teach them how to have fun."
A small sophomore surrounded
by a castle of textbooks caught

Ebenezer's eye.
longingly out the
the party-less Diag.

He was staring
window, toward

A tear ran down Ebenezer's cheek.
The Grad dissolved around him,
and before he could decide what hap-
pened, he found himself behind his
familiar desk.
After his hands stopped shaking,
he buzzed his secretary. "I'm taking
the afternoon off," he stated. "And do
me a favor: Organize an office
Christmas party."
He scooped up some of the bud-
get money off his desk and ran to-
ward the Diag. On the way, he spot-
ted a student walking toward the Law
Library with a backpack stuffed with
books.
He stuffed a money wad into the
student's pocket. "Here, use this for
financial aid," he exclaimed. "Happy
Holidays!" he shouted to anyone
who would listen.

NCR SALUTES:
THE WINNERS OF THE STAKEHOLDER
ESSAY COMPETITION

"Progressive companies have begun
to think beyond the traditional
relationship of thefirm to society
and have begun to manage all of
the relationships upon which they
depend for survival. Firms that
don't follow suit may regret their
short-sightedness.
Murray A. Low, Winner
NCR Stakeholder Essay
Competition
Some of today's most important ideas are
held in trust by the leaders of tomorrow.
More than 2,500 such leaders, college
students from all over the country, recently
competed in an NCR-sponsored essay
competition. The topic: "Creating Value
For Stakeholders In Corporations
And/Or Not-For-Profit Organizations."
At stake: $300,000 in awards. And at'
even greater stake: a chance to affect the
way the world does business.
NCR is proud to salute the first prize
winner; Murray B. Low of The Wharton
School, The University of Pennsylvania;
and the second prize winner, Ron Gilbert
of The University of Iowa. NCR also
congratulates the 98 national and state
award winners, as well as their schools.
Their names are listed below.
Our sincere thanks to all who entered the
competition. Their ideas promise a bright
future-for themselves, and for business
the world over

STAKEHOLDER ESSAY COMPETITION

11 Vii: :

First Place
Murray B. Low
University of Pennsylvania/
Wharton School of Business
Second Place
Ron Gilbert
University of Iowa
NATIONAL WINNERS
Scot Barenblat
University of Texas/Austin
Mark Christel
University of Wisconsin
Scott Evans
Colorado State University
Kalyanaram Gurumurthy
Massachusetts Institute of
Technology/Sloan
Gregory Heyworth
Columbia University
Yen-Chi Huang
Stanford University
Darnell Hunt
Georgetown University
Jame'es Mahon, J r
University
California/Berkeley
Amy Montgomery
University of Michigan
STATE WINNERS
Kathryn Adam
University of Minnesota
SWTmy Ahn
Northwestern University
A jay Ahuja
University of Idaho/Moscow
Bruce Alexander
Middlebury College
Robert Asseln
Yale University
Steve Atkins
University of Alaska
Thomas Austin
University of Wisconsin/Stout
Jack Ballentine
University of Georgia
John Banko
University of Florida
Fred Bentsen
Rice University
Michael Blach
California Polytechnic
State/San Luis Obispo
Susan Bodenheim
Miami University
George Bohan
Case Western Reserve University
Mark Caligaris
University of
Pennsylvania/Wharton
Marinilka Barros Carrero
Interamerican University
Nikki Chong
University of
Pennsylvania/Wharton
Suzanne Chung
Northwestern University
Robin Clair
Kent State University
William Cowie
University of California/Irvine
Christopher Cunningham
Kansas State University

Deter Donati
Cornell University/Oxford
Gerhaldt Douglass
University of Miami
Timothy Duning
Purdue Universtty/Krannert
Chris Dyke
University of Florida
Vanita D'Silva
Virginia Polytechnic Institute
George Ellis
University of Michigan
Brant Enderle
Ohio State University
Judith Finestone
rexel University
Duane Ford
East Texas State
Bruce Friedman
Harvard Business School
Eran Gartner
Cornell University
Marc Greidinger
University of Maryland
William Hammer
Northwestern University
Philip Hutcheson
David Lipscomb College
Thomas Irwin
Hawaii Pacific College
John Jacobs
North Carolina State
Scott Johnston
Brown University
Stephanie Jordan
Appalachian State University
Andrew Scott Keating
Dartmouth College
Sonya Kelly
University of Nebraska
Charlotte Klaus
University of Denver
Gail Koren
Kent State University
Michael Kuhn
Washington University
Lawrence Kupers
U.C.L.A.
David Lambert
University of Florida
James La~rath
Montana State University
Signe Larkin
Northern Arizona University
Leonard T. Lee
Cornell University
Mark Lofstrom
Columbia University
Gary MacDonald
University of Michigan
Charles Marquette, Jr.
Louisiana State University
Douglas McMahon
University of Virginia
Russell Meier
Rice University
Susan Ann Milne
Willamette University
Brian Minney
University of Maryland
Ernest Ndukwe
Michigan State University

WINNERS
Etienne Weiss Ozorak
Earlham College
Elizabeth Parsons
Northeastern University
Bradley Pick
Northwestern University
John D. Pwell
Louisiana Tech University
Bruce Rebhan
University o
California/Berkeley
Richard Reid
Harding University
David Roeder
Mississippi State University
Gordon Sargent
University of Kansas
eter K. Schalestock
Cornell University
Justus Schlichting
Claremont Graduate School
Kimberly Schwartz
College of St. Benedict
John Schwerin
Christian Brothers College
Scott Shafer
University of Cincinnati
Brian Shaffer
University of
Calornia/Berkeley
Angela Sizemore
University of South Carolina
Julia Snell
Auburn University
MichaelSolka
University of
Pennsylvania! Wharton
Lisa Stamm
Northern Kentucky University
Michael Strong
Monterey Institute of
International Studies
Ashu Suri
Princeton University
Brent Taliaferro
Oklahoma State University
Dianne Todd
Northwestern University
Jay Tompt
Monterey Institute of
International Studies
Hilary Turner
University of
Washington/Seattle
Curt Walker
Purdue University
Joji Watanabe
University of Virginia
Gary Wiggin
Georgia State University
Robert Williams
Harvard Business School
Linda Gail Williamson
Carnegie-Mellon University
Stewart Wilson
Brigham Young University
Mike Windey, Jr.
University of South Carolina
Gary Winger
University of Utah
Barry Wolverton
Millsaps College

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.

COCOON THE RETURN M
12:35, 2:50, 5:05, 7:35,9:50, 12:05

I

BUSTER
1:20, 3:20, 5:10, 7:25, 9:25, 11:35

I

II

THE LAND BEFORE TIME
12:30, 205, 3:40, 5:15, 7:00, 9:35, 10:10, 11:40a]
.Wat Disney's OLIVER & COMPANY
2:15, 1:50, 3:25, 5:00, 7:00, 8:30, 10:00, 11:35A]l
FRESH HORSES
12:40, 2:40, 4:40, 7:20, 9:30, 11:40( l
HIGH SPIRITS 1
12:45, 2:50, 4:50, 7:25, 9:25, 11:30 I
LAST RITES
3:10,5:15,9:55, 12:15
A CRY IN THE DARK
12:25, 2:40, 4:55, 7:30, 9:50, 12:10

IRON EAGLE II
1:05,3:00,5:10,7:40,9:45, 11:50

W

, ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS I

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