PERSPECTIVE S The Michigan Daily Thursday, December 1, 1988 Page5 Duderstadt stars in A Christmas Carol BY STEVE KNOPPER AND MARK SHAIMAN With kudos to Charles Dickens and Bill Murray. It was the day before Winter Break at the University of Michigan, and people from all over campus were getting into the holiday spirit. Students were hanging mistletoe next to the plastic memo boards on their dorm room doors. Faculty members, in a measure of good faith, extended their office hours from 30 to 40 minutes a week. And everybody was getting ready to fin- ish finals, go home, and wind up face down in the gutter after a bitter egg nog experience. But up in a little corner office on the fourth floor of the Fleming Building, a tall, red-haired man with tiny spectacles was hard at work be- hind his desk. As usual, he was holed up in his office, working and working. "Bah!" said J. Ebenezer Duder- stadt, president of the illustrious University. "Holidays! What's the point? They're just a lousy excuse for people to stop doing work and go home." Outside his office, students, pro- fessors, secretaries and vice presi- dents were having their annual party on the Diag. As usual, they invited the president to come; and as usual, 'he didn't show. It was quite a bash, though. Hundreds of people filled the Diag, anxiously awaiting the unveiling of the new Chemistry Building, which sported reindeer wrapping paper and a big blue ribbon. Faculty members kidded students about grading them down because of typos on their title pages. Students admitted that they never came to lectures, anyway. But they all gave each other presents, let loose, and had a good time. All except Ebenezer, who was watching the party via telescope from his office. "Poor saps," he grumbled. "They should be studying! Or doing research! Or writing disser- tations! I'll have to change the Diag party rules again." In disgust, he spun away from the window and planted himself behind his desk to count University budget money. After another half hour of count- Hair Styling with a Flair " 7 Barber Stylists for MEN & WOMEN - NO WAITINGill DASCOLA STYLISTS Opposite Jacobson's 668-9329 I CINEMA IRECTO ing, Ebenezer began to hear strange voices. At first, he tried to dismiss them as hallucinations caused by hard work. But soon, they were louder and louder, and he thought he recognized the voice. "Stop!" he said. "Leave me alone! What do you want from me?" He whirled around in his chair, only to see a kempt, blue-suited man with graying hair and round glasses.. He was wearing a black-and-orange sweater with a Princeton University pin. "I know you!" Ebenezer said. "You're Harold Shapiro. I was your vice president." "You have a good memory, Ebenezer," former President Shapiro said. "I'm here to teach you what I've learned. Remember the students! And the faculty members! They're out having fun, and you're stuck in here." Ebenezer frowned. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "You will be visited by three ghosts tonight: the ghosts of Uni- versities past, present, and yet to come." Suddenly, Shapiro was gone, in a puff of smoke. Ebenezer sat behind his desk, gaping at the piles of bud- get money with his mouth open. "He must know something," Ebe- nezer said. "After all, he moved to New Jersey, a party state if I've ever heard one." But Ebenezer dismissed the ap- parition, and spent the entire night in his office counting money to make up for the wasted time. "Five-hundred forty-four million, seven-hundred-and-three thousand and four," he said as the clock struck twelve. Suddenly, a booming laugh e- choed out and the ghost of former President Robben Fleming appeared to match the voice. "I am the ghost of University past," Fleming said. "I'm here to show you what Univer- sity life shouldn't be. Follow me." Ebenezer soon found himself in his old college dorm room. There was a party going on around him, but in the corner sat a single student, calculator in hand, working out fluid dynamics problems. It was Ebenezer as a young man. "School isn't supposed to be fun. It's work," Ebenezer screamed. Then he found himself in his office again. He walked to the window. "Those people messing around out there on the Diag won't continue if I can help it!" Then, Fleming disappeared and was replaced by eight new ghosts of the present - the shades of the Board of Regents. "We need you to play ball with us, Ebenezer," the regents said. "You'll make the ninth on our soft- ball team. We'll even let you be the pitcher." "Never! I'm much too busy!" Ebenezer said. "You should know that the president has no time for fun." "You are striking out, then," the Regents replied. Then they unani- mously voted to disappear, and when the smoke cleared, one lone figure stood before Ebenezer. "All right, who are you?" Ebe- nezer queried. The spirit was mild-mannered and quiet. He, too, wore glasses, and carried a copy of the Engineering Course Guide. "I'm Charlie Vest, and I'll be your new vice president." The spirit motioned for Ebenezer to follow him. They left the Fleming Build- ing, passed the Diag, and went up the steps of the Graduate Library. "See these students?" asked the ghost of University future. "All they know how to do is work! You've got to teach them how to have fun." A small sophomore surrounded by a castle of textbooks caught Ebenezer's eye. longingly out the the party-less Diag. He was staring window, toward A tear ran down Ebenezer's cheek. The Grad dissolved around him, and before he could decide what hap- pened, he found himself behind his familiar desk. After his hands stopped shaking, he buzzed his secretary. "I'm taking the afternoon off," he stated. "And do me a favor: Organize an office Christmas party." He scooped up some of the bud- get money off his desk and ran to- ward the Diag. On the way, he spot- ted a student walking toward the Law Library with a backpack stuffed with books. He stuffed a money wad into the student's pocket. "Here, use this for financial aid," he exclaimed. "Happy Holidays!" he shouted to anyone who would listen. NCR SALUTES: THE WINNERS OF THE STAKEHOLDER ESSAY COMPETITION "Progressive companies have begun to think beyond the traditional relationship of thefirm to society and have begun to manage all of the relationships upon which they depend for survival. Firms that don't follow suit may regret their short-sightedness. Murray A. Low, Winner NCR Stakeholder Essay Competition Some of today's most important ideas are held in trust by the leaders of tomorrow. More than 2,500 such leaders, college students from all over the country, recently competed in an NCR-sponsored essay competition. The topic: "Creating Value For Stakeholders In Corporations And/Or Not-For-Profit Organizations." At stake: $300,000 in awards. And at' even greater stake: a chance to affect the way the world does business. NCR is proud to salute the first prize winner; Murray B. Low of The Wharton School, The University of Pennsylvania; and the second prize winner, Ron Gilbert of The University of Iowa. NCR also congratulates the 98 national and state award winners, as well as their schools. Their names are listed below. Our sincere thanks to all who entered the competition. Their ideas promise a bright future-for themselves, and for business the world over STAKEHOLDER ESSAY COMPETITION 11 Vii: : First Place Murray B. Low University of Pennsylvania/ Wharton School of Business Second Place Ron Gilbert University of Iowa NATIONAL WINNERS Scot Barenblat University of Texas/Austin Mark Christel University of Wisconsin Scott Evans Colorado State University Kalyanaram Gurumurthy Massachusetts Institute of Technology/Sloan Gregory Heyworth Columbia University Yen-Chi Huang Stanford University Darnell Hunt Georgetown University Jame'es Mahon, J r University California/Berkeley Amy Montgomery University of Michigan STATE WINNERS Kathryn Adam University of Minnesota SWTmy Ahn Northwestern University A jay Ahuja University of Idaho/Moscow Bruce Alexander Middlebury College Robert Asseln Yale University Steve Atkins University of Alaska Thomas Austin University of Wisconsin/Stout Jack Ballentine University of Georgia John Banko University of Florida Fred Bentsen Rice University Michael Blach California Polytechnic State/San Luis Obispo Susan Bodenheim Miami University George Bohan Case Western Reserve University Mark Caligaris University of Pennsylvania/Wharton Marinilka Barros Carrero Interamerican University Nikki Chong University of Pennsylvania/Wharton Suzanne Chung Northwestern University Robin Clair Kent State University William Cowie University of California/Irvine Christopher Cunningham Kansas State University Deter Donati Cornell University/Oxford Gerhaldt Douglass University of Miami Timothy Duning Purdue Universtty/Krannert Chris Dyke University of Florida Vanita D'Silva Virginia Polytechnic Institute George Ellis University of Michigan Brant Enderle Ohio State University Judith Finestone rexel University Duane Ford East Texas State Bruce Friedman Harvard Business School Eran Gartner Cornell University Marc Greidinger University of Maryland William Hammer Northwestern University Philip Hutcheson David Lipscomb College Thomas Irwin Hawaii Pacific College John Jacobs North Carolina State Scott Johnston Brown University Stephanie Jordan Appalachian State University Andrew Scott Keating Dartmouth College Sonya Kelly University of Nebraska Charlotte Klaus University of Denver Gail Koren Kent State University Michael Kuhn Washington University Lawrence Kupers U.C.L.A. David Lambert University of Florida James La~rath Montana State University Signe Larkin Northern Arizona University Leonard T. Lee Cornell University Mark Lofstrom Columbia University Gary MacDonald University of Michigan Charles Marquette, Jr. Louisiana State University Douglas McMahon University of Virginia Russell Meier Rice University Susan Ann Milne Willamette University Brian Minney University of Maryland Ernest Ndukwe Michigan State University WINNERS Etienne Weiss Ozorak Earlham College Elizabeth Parsons Northeastern University Bradley Pick Northwestern University John D. Pwell Louisiana Tech University Bruce Rebhan University o California/Berkeley Richard Reid Harding University David Roeder Mississippi State University Gordon Sargent University of Kansas eter K. Schalestock Cornell University Justus Schlichting Claremont Graduate School Kimberly Schwartz College of St. Benedict John Schwerin Christian Brothers College Scott Shafer University of Cincinnati Brian Shaffer University of Calornia/Berkeley Angela Sizemore University of South Carolina Julia Snell Auburn University MichaelSolka University of Pennsylvania! Wharton Lisa Stamm Northern Kentucky University Michael Strong Monterey Institute of International Studies Ashu Suri Princeton University Brent Taliaferro Oklahoma State University Dianne Todd Northwestern University Jay Tompt Monterey Institute of International Studies Hilary Turner University of Washington/Seattle Curt Walker Purdue University Joji Watanabe University of Virginia Gary Wiggin Georgia State University Robert Williams Harvard Business School Linda Gail Williamson Carnegie-Mellon University Stewart Wilson Brigham Young University Mike Windey, Jr. University of South Carolina Gary Winger University of Utah Barry Wolverton Millsaps College y"P " ;# . COCOON THE RETURN M 12:35, 2:50, 5:05, 7:35,9:50, 12:05 I BUSTER 1:20, 3:20, 5:10, 7:25, 9:25, 11:35 I II THE LAND BEFORE TIME 12:30, 205, 3:40, 5:15, 7:00, 9:35, 10:10, 11:40a] .Wat Disney's OLIVER & COMPANY 2:15, 1:50, 3:25, 5:00, 7:00, 8:30, 10:00, 11:35A]l FRESH HORSES 12:40, 2:40, 4:40, 7:20, 9:30, 11:40( l HIGH SPIRITS 1 12:45, 2:50, 4:50, 7:25, 9:25, 11:30 I LAST RITES 3:10,5:15,9:55, 12:15 A CRY IN THE DARK 12:25, 2:40, 4:55, 7:30, 9:50, 12:10 IRON EAGLE II 1:05,3:00,5:10,7:40,9:45, 11:50 W , ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS I I / I I I