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We at the Daily often whine
about one form of oppression or
another: racism, s e x i s m,
conservatism, etc. But we hardly
ever address a from of oppression
that afflicts almost everyone,
everyday - fashion. Since the first
couple donned fig leaves, clothes and
fashion have been a symbol of
humanity's shame.
But clothes don't grow on trees
anymore. $100 gym shoes! Clothes
cost an arm and a leg these days
(leaving you with useless arm and
leg sleeves). And even though
clothes no longer grow on trees
anymore, they still change with the
seasons, causing us to needlesslybuy
new wardrobes. Fashion is merely a
capitalist mechanism to stimulate
demand in the over-saturated markets
of neo-post-industrial developed
economies. Think of all the perfectly
serviceable clothes we banish to the
collective closet of cultural disfavor
just because some Parisian designer
discovers that he or she's broke and
that those clothes are now passe.
Blue jeans are the ultimate
example of our faithful forebearance
of fashion's ficklesness. First we
wore bell bottoms. Then we paid
good money to have Gloria
Vanderbilt autograph our buns. In
recent years, blue jeans have even
ceased to be blue. These things may
seem odd in retrospect, but they pale
in comparison to today's fads. What
genius first poured bleach on their
new jeans? Probably someone who
grabbed the wrong bottle when doing
the wash. Probably the same person
who finally wore holes in the knees
of their favorite jeans. The rationale
solution to this person's problems:
claim you're just being creative and
fashionable. What is irrational is
that millions of people bought it -
literally in many cases.
Enough of this madness! We
must shed the layers of our
oppression, strip ourselves of these
social norms heaped upon us! Strip
for sanity! Nudism is the natural
fashion. If God had wanted us to
wear clothes, would She have given
us skin? Of course not. Skin is the
perfect covering. It comes in an
endless variety of shades and sizes. It
stretches, it shrinks to fit. It
breathes. It never stains. It's water-
resistant. It's absolutely free. It takes
years of wear and tear before
wrinkling. When people borrow it,
they have to give it back. And, best
of all, skin never goes out of style.
With all these advantages, why
has skin remained unseen? The Great
Skin Cover-up. The pimps and
pushers of fashion have colluded to
keep us in the dark about nudity's
advantages. Through their great
advertising expenditures, the
clothing magnates have bribed the
media to suppress skin. Look
through this issue. In all these
pictures, is nudity once presented as
an acceptable alternative to artificial
packaging? When was the last time
you saw a nudist role model
presented on television? What is the
percentage of nudists at this
University? There is obviously a
conspiracy here: the Great Skin
Cover-up.
Think of all the closet space we
could save, all those quarters lost to
insatiable and ineffective dryers.
What about honesty in advertising?
..a AUDITIONS
Ann Arbor Civic Theatre JC
SIDE BY SIDE BY SONDHEIM
Directed by Jim Posante
Sun. - Mon. October 25,26 at 7:30 p.m.
AACT Bldg. Corner of Main & William
1-3 Men 3-6 Women (all singers)
Narrator of either sex
Be prepared to sing a Sondheim song of
your own choosing. Bring your own music for
piano accompaniment. No a capella auditions.
Women-Please wear skirt or dress to auditions
Men-Slacks
No denim or corduroy
PRODUCTION DATES: December 16-19th at Power Center
Information: 662-7282
I.
FASHION STARTS
WITH
FITNESS!
Ann Arbor Court Club
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. .24 HOUR
FITNESS!
. AEROBICS . RACQUETBALL - NAUTILUS.
. WHIRLPOOL - SAUNA . TANNING
The Cai
Fall with Classic E
with color and comc
Collected Wor
combination of shirts
good cottons, silks and
on campus come
we'd love t
. OLYMPIC FREE WEIGHTS
. KARATE
FITSTOP - CARDIOVASCULAR CENTER
+ {
Open 24 hours from 2875
Mon. 6 am to Fri. 10 pm
Saturday 7 am - 7 pm (Near Briarwood)
Sunday 9 am - 5 pm 02-0243
OPINION STAFF: Opinion Staffer Gayle Kirshenbaum, Opinion Editor Peter Mooney, Opinion Staffer Josh Levin,
Residual Daily Staffer, Opinion Staffer Jeffrey Rutherford.
PAGE 14 WEEKEND/OCTOBER 23, 1987
WEEKEND/OCTOBER 23, 1987