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April 20, 1985 - Image 3

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Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1985-04-20

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The Michigan Daily - Saturday, April 20, 1985 -Page 3

I

85.5
85.0
84.5
84.0
83.5
83.0
10.5
10.0
9.5
9.0
3.0
2.s5

SENIOR FACULTY
Percent of Associate and Full Professor Positions
Held by Black, Female and White Male Faculty
1977-78 through 1984-85
ANN ARBOR CAMPUS
(1427) (1417)
(1403) WHT ML
(1381) (1344) (1341)
(131s) (132s)
FE LE (166) (165)
(16s) (161) (155)
(15 s15)
BLACK
(44) (41) (40) (42) (41) (41) (36) (40)

By SEAN JACKSON
Just like the Pink Panther and the Jedi, the three
gorillas named Dave have returned to campus.
Sporting gorilla masks and furry paws, the three
masked sophomores - who identify themselves only
as Dave, Dave, and Dave - tried to spread cheer
yesterday around the Diag by passing out hugs,
hooting, and hollering just as they did one day this
February.
"OUR INTENT is not malicious, we're out here to
spread happiness and joy," said one of the friendly
gorillas.
The Daves also encourage people to wear maks if
they need to. "We think that it is fine" to wear
masks, one of them said. "If that's how you have to
deal with life, we can respect that."
Their antics began just before noon on the Diag,
when they began "greeting" students.
En route to the Modern Language Building, the
gorillas approached LSA freshman Steve Arensberg
and engineering freshman Dave Buckner. "They

asked us whether or not we are thinking about
primates because apes are primate too," said Aren-
sberg.
THE GORILLAS met up with a pair of young ladies
leaving MLB and tried to plant a kiss on one of them,
Linda Wassel, a engineering freshperson. "My
mother always told me not to kiss strangers," she
said, as she shyly turned her cheek away from the
masked smoocher.
But the women found the gorillas' invitation to a
jungle party intriguing. "I'd love to go to a jungle
party - to meet more gorillas," Wassel said. Her
companion Elaine Muir concurred. "We can expand
our horizons - but actually we like tropical drinks."
The gorillas raced into a MLB lecture hall, but
dashed out soon after their entrance.
The pair returned to the Diag, and tried to form a
human cage around Residential College freshperson,
Elia Taylor. They walked on either side of Taylor and
wrapped their arms around her waist.
"Let's not say picked up, let's call it talked to,"
said Taylor. She admitted she's a little cagey about

the furry bunch.
Two of the Daves admitted they like to hang around
with women. "It's true, we're more attracted to
girls," said Dave, the friendly gorilla.
"Girls like real, real animals, and they like to
swing," said Dave, the flirting gorilla.
THE GORILLAS descended upon another pair of
sunbathers.
"They just sort of mauled us, said hello, and kissed
our hands," said Music School sophomore Andrea
Langs of the gentlemanly gorillas. "It's in the spirit
of the Diag, they are just trying to make a point - but
I don't know what it is," she added.
The gorillas could not fool everyone, they certainly
did not pull the fur over LSA senior Mark Berniker's
eyes. "I really don't think they're gorillas - they're
just silly boys wearing costumes."
Well, maybe Dave, Dave, and Dave will have bet-
ter luck next time. They are considering returning in
September. After all there is Porky's III, Superman
III, and Star Trek III - why Dave the Gorillas III?

Gorillas return to humor students

1977-78 1978-79 1979-80 1980-81 1981-82 1982-83

1983-84 1984-8E

Source: Workforce Analyses, 1977-78 through 1984-85

( ) = number of faculty

65.0
64.5
64.0
63.5
63.0
62.5
62.0
61.5
31 .5
31.0
30.5
30.0
29.5
29.0
5.5
5.0
4.5
4.0
3.5

ASSISTANT PROFESSORS
Percent of Assistant Professor Positions
Held by Black, Female, and White Male Faculty
1977-78 through 1984-85
ANN ARBOR CAMPUS
(317) (323) (336)
(366
WHITE MALE (346)
(344)
(341) (44
(173) (174)
(1s2) (166)
(145) (1s53)
FEMALE (157)

3)

LSA-SG t
By SEAN JACKSON
The reappointment of LSA Dean
Peter Steiner by the University's Board
of Regents will not stop the LSA Student
Government from attempting to place a
student on the college's executive
committee.
The LSA Student Government and the
Michigan Student Assembly passed
resolutions last month requesting that
the regents table Steiner's reappoin-
tment until he publicly states his
opinion of student membership on the
committee.

o pursue to
LSA-SG Vice President Mike Brown
said that even though those plans have
failed, he will continue to press for
student representation on the panel
next fall.
"(The resolutions were) a statement
to bring the matter back into life," he
said. "It will be picked up in Septem-
ber.
"I'm glad he (Steiner) was reappoin-
ted and hope he will be willing to work
with us more closely on this issue," he
added.
THE EXECUTIVE committee, com-

p college panel spot
posed of six faculty members, and the constituency unlike current com
college deans, has been called the most members, who do not ser'
powerful committee in the college by representatives of particularc
student leaders. Its members make tments or programs. He als
final decisions on budget and tenure students do not have the time or t
questions in the college and appoints perience necessary to serve o
special standing committees. panel, and that, therefore, their
Steiner released a letter to the Daily would be more appropriate t
the day after the MSA resolution to ex- other channels.
plain his views on the appointment of Brown said he will send a let
students to the committee. Steiner refuting those argun
IN THE letter, Steiner said students within the next week. He also pl
should not be allowed to participate invite Steiner to speak at a forumi
because they would represent a specific issue in the fall.

mittee
ve as
depar-
o said
the ex-
on the
rinput
hrough
tter to
rments
ans to
on the

(24) (25) (25) (29) (30(2)
LAC(19)(2s)
BLACK_..,_(9

1977-78 1978-79

1979-80 1980-81 1981-82 1982-83 1983-84

1984-85

Source: Workforce Analyses, 1977-78 through 1984-85 ( ) number of faculty
Regents disappointed
in 'U'report findng

Education official slams schools POLICE
WASHINGTON (UPI)-Education to'the Confe rencV on Civic Virtue and that show many teenagers do not know TES

Secretary William Bennett, questioning
whether the schools teach values that
"make the case for our political
system," yesterday said children must.
know more about history to recognize
the Communist threat in Central.
America.
"Our students will not recognize the
urgency in Nicaragua if they cannot
recognize the history that is
threatening to repeat itself," Bennett
said in a speech prepared for delivery

Educatiohal Excelle'ee.r
IF THIY have nev herpd of the
Cob#f'iBsile Crrty carnot om-
prehend aa of secret
police hen .tt~s tht'Cuba's ..
friends are eNicaragua 'friends,, and
Cuba's enemies aye -Nicaraqua's
enemies,' "Bentiett ad ted ,
He complained that too rany studen.-
ts cannot explain 'the essentials of
American democracy," cjting surveys

how a bill becomes law or understand
that a president cannot declare a law
unconstitutional.
"And why should we be surprised,
when many of our schools no longer
make sure their charges know the long
procession of events that gave rise to
modern democracy?" He demanded,
"we offer our students the flag, but
sometimes act toward it as if it were
only cloth."

A twenty-year-old woman reported to
Ann Arbor Police that an unknown per-
son had attempted to abduct her near the
300 block of Maynard Street early
Tuesday morning. According to police
Sgt. Jan Suomala, the woman was
grabbed by a middle aged man who at-
tempted to force her into a pick-up
truck. The woman successfully eluded
the attacker and reported no injuries.
-Thomas Hrach

(Continued from Page 1),
ticle a few weeks ago describing race
problems at the University.
In order to correct this problem,
Power said, the University should bet-
ter publicize the efforts it makes to at-
tract minority students and faculty.
THE UNIVERSITY already spends a
good deal of its resources on attracting
#nd retaining women and minorities.
The affirmative action office alone
received over $300,000 last year, and
mnuch of the recruiting is done by in-
dividual colleges and departments in-
aependently of that office.
One of the things the University does
is set a "model" number of women and
minorities for each University position.
The affirmative action office deter-
mines how available women and
minorities are for different jobs by
looking at statistics like the number of
Ph.D. candidates for a given field. If the
dumber of minorities and women
currently in the field is lower than that
target, then the affirmative action of-

fice will give preference to minority
and women candidates who are as well
qualified as their white or male coun-
terparts.
The University actually offered
faculty positions to nine minority can-
didates and 10 women who rejected the
offer, Nordby said. Regent James Waters
(D-Muskegon) said the University
should have found out why the offers
were rejected.
"We can't know if there was any good
faith effort (by the University) if there
wasn't any follow up," he said.
But despite the mostly bad news,
Regent Roach found a bright side. "If
we hadn't done as much as we've done,
these numbers would be much lower,"
he said. "We have to keep running the
race."
Roach also said the University's
problems aren't unique. "We're not
atypical. Everyone has these
problems," he said. "Very few univer-
sities have the extensive program that
we do."

-HAPPENINGS-
Highlight
Michigan Alliance for Disarmament is sponsoring a rally at 1 p.m., at
Elbel Field, corner of Hill and S. Division, to demonstrate local support for
today's march and rally in Washington, D.C. to protest the apartheid and
a support a freeze or a reduction of the arms race, etc.

{ Film

C2-Gallipoli, 7 p.m., Angell Aud. A.
AAFC- Pink Flamingos, 7 p.m., Reefer Madness, 8:45 p.m., MLB 4.
CG- Life of Brian, 7 p.m., Nat. Sci. Aud.
Alt. Act.- Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 7 p.m., MLB 3.
MTF- Apocalypse Now, 7 p.m., Michigan Theater.
Performances
Performance Network-Extremities, 8 p.m., 408 W. Washington.
School of Music- Recitals: oboe, Adriana Dalpra, 2 p.m.; harpsichord,
Joanne Vollendorf, 4 p.m.; piano, Stephanie Leon, 6 p.m.; clarinet, Jane
Carl, 8 p.m.; Recital Hall. Harpsichord, Vivan Montgomery, 8 p.m., Cam-
pus Chapel; faculty dance, 8 p.m., Studio A, Dance Bldg.
Major Events- Concert, Tubes & Utopia, 7:30 p.m., Hall Aud.
Ark-Calennig, 8p.m., 637 S. Main.
Meetings
Ann Arbor Go Club-2 p.m., 1433 Mason Hall.
Ann Arbor War Tax Dissidents-noon, 602 E. Huron.
Miscellaneous
Washtenaw Community College- Career Conference, 9 a.m., WCCC.
Museum of Art- cocktails/buffet/ball, Sherman Mitchell's Quartet, 7
p.m., Museum of Art.
Human Sexuality-Fourth Annual Exploring Gay Issues Conference, 9
a.m., Law Club Lounge.
U-M Rowing Team- Ragatta, 10:30 a.m., Gallup Park.
Future Classics-Second annual Universal Caliko Tournament, 10 a.m.,
Union Cafe.
Ann Arbor Action for Soviet Jewry- "An Evening of Solidarity with Soviet

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