The Michigan Daily - Saturday, April 20, 1985 -Page 3 I 85.5 85.0 84.5 84.0 83.5 83.0 10.5 10.0 9.5 9.0 3.0 2.s5 SENIOR FACULTY Percent of Associate and Full Professor Positions Held by Black, Female and White Male Faculty 1977-78 through 1984-85 ANN ARBOR CAMPUS (1427) (1417) (1403) WHT ML (1381) (1344) (1341) (131s) (132s) FE LE (166) (165) (16s) (161) (155) (15 s15) BLACK (44) (41) (40) (42) (41) (41) (36) (40) By SEAN JACKSON Just like the Pink Panther and the Jedi, the three gorillas named Dave have returned to campus. Sporting gorilla masks and furry paws, the three masked sophomores - who identify themselves only as Dave, Dave, and Dave - tried to spread cheer yesterday around the Diag by passing out hugs, hooting, and hollering just as they did one day this February. "OUR INTENT is not malicious, we're out here to spread happiness and joy," said one of the friendly gorillas. The Daves also encourage people to wear maks if they need to. "We think that it is fine" to wear masks, one of them said. "If that's how you have to deal with life, we can respect that." Their antics began just before noon on the Diag, when they began "greeting" students. En route to the Modern Language Building, the gorillas approached LSA freshman Steve Arensberg and engineering freshman Dave Buckner. "They asked us whether or not we are thinking about primates because apes are primate too," said Aren- sberg. THE GORILLAS met up with a pair of young ladies leaving MLB and tried to plant a kiss on one of them, Linda Wassel, a engineering freshperson. "My mother always told me not to kiss strangers," she said, as she shyly turned her cheek away from the masked smoocher. But the women found the gorillas' invitation to a jungle party intriguing. "I'd love to go to a jungle party - to meet more gorillas," Wassel said. Her companion Elaine Muir concurred. "We can expand our horizons - but actually we like tropical drinks." The gorillas raced into a MLB lecture hall, but dashed out soon after their entrance. The pair returned to the Diag, and tried to form a human cage around Residential College freshperson, Elia Taylor. They walked on either side of Taylor and wrapped their arms around her waist. "Let's not say picked up, let's call it talked to," said Taylor. She admitted she's a little cagey about the furry bunch. Two of the Daves admitted they like to hang around with women. "It's true, we're more attracted to girls," said Dave, the friendly gorilla. "Girls like real, real animals, and they like to swing," said Dave, the flirting gorilla. THE GORILLAS descended upon another pair of sunbathers. "They just sort of mauled us, said hello, and kissed our hands," said Music School sophomore Andrea Langs of the gentlemanly gorillas. "It's in the spirit of the Diag, they are just trying to make a point - but I don't know what it is," she added. The gorillas could not fool everyone, they certainly did not pull the fur over LSA senior Mark Berniker's eyes. "I really don't think they're gorillas - they're just silly boys wearing costumes." Well, maybe Dave, Dave, and Dave will have bet- ter luck next time. They are considering returning in September. After all there is Porky's III, Superman III, and Star Trek III - why Dave the Gorillas III? Gorillas return to humor students 1977-78 1978-79 1979-80 1980-81 1981-82 1982-83 1983-84 1984-8E Source: Workforce Analyses, 1977-78 through 1984-85 ( ) = number of faculty 65.0 64.5 64.0 63.5 63.0 62.5 62.0 61.5 31 .5 31.0 30.5 30.0 29.5 29.0 5.5 5.0 4.5 4.0 3.5 ASSISTANT PROFESSORS Percent of Assistant Professor Positions Held by Black, Female, and White Male Faculty 1977-78 through 1984-85 ANN ARBOR CAMPUS (317) (323) (336) (366 WHITE MALE (346) (344) (341) (44 (173) (174) (1s2) (166) (145) (1s53) FEMALE (157) 3) LSA-SG t By SEAN JACKSON The reappointment of LSA Dean Peter Steiner by the University's Board of Regents will not stop the LSA Student Government from attempting to place a student on the college's executive committee. The LSA Student Government and the Michigan Student Assembly passed resolutions last month requesting that the regents table Steiner's reappoin- tment until he publicly states his opinion of student membership on the committee. o pursue to LSA-SG Vice President Mike Brown said that even though those plans have failed, he will continue to press for student representation on the panel next fall. "(The resolutions were) a statement to bring the matter back into life," he said. "It will be picked up in Septem- ber. "I'm glad he (Steiner) was reappoin- ted and hope he will be willing to work with us more closely on this issue," he added. THE EXECUTIVE committee, com- p college panel spot posed of six faculty members, and the constituency unlike current com college deans, has been called the most members, who do not ser' powerful committee in the college by representatives of particularc student leaders. Its members make tments or programs. He als final decisions on budget and tenure students do not have the time or t questions in the college and appoints perience necessary to serve o special standing committees. panel, and that, therefore, their Steiner released a letter to the Daily would be more appropriate t the day after the MSA resolution to ex- other channels. plain his views on the appointment of Brown said he will send a let students to the committee. Steiner refuting those argun IN THE letter, Steiner said students within the next week. He also pl should not be allowed to participate invite Steiner to speak at a forumi because they would represent a specific issue in the fall. mittee ve as depar- o said the ex- on the rinput hrough tter to rments ans to on the (24) (25) (25) (29) (30(2) LAC(19)(2s) BLACK_..,_(9 1977-78 1978-79 1979-80 1980-81 1981-82 1982-83 1983-84 1984-85 Source: Workforce Analyses, 1977-78 through 1984-85 ( ) number of faculty Regents disappointed in 'U'report findng Education official slams schools POLICE WASHINGTON (UPI)-Education to'the Confe rencV on Civic Virtue and that show many teenagers do not know TES Secretary William Bennett, questioning whether the schools teach values that "make the case for our political system," yesterday said children must. know more about history to recognize the Communist threat in Central. America. "Our students will not recognize the urgency in Nicaragua if they cannot recognize the history that is threatening to repeat itself," Bennett said in a speech prepared for delivery Educatiohal Excelle'ee.r IF THIY have nev herpd of the Cob#f'iBsile Crrty carnot om- prehend aa of secret police hen .tt~s tht'Cuba's .. friends are eNicaragua 'friends,, and Cuba's enemies aye -Nicaraqua's enemies,' "Bentiett ad ted , He complained that too rany studen.- ts cannot explain 'the essentials of American democracy," cjting surveys how a bill becomes law or understand that a president cannot declare a law unconstitutional. "And why should we be surprised, when many of our schools no longer make sure their charges know the long procession of events that gave rise to modern democracy?" He demanded, "we offer our students the flag, but sometimes act toward it as if it were only cloth." A twenty-year-old woman reported to Ann Arbor Police that an unknown per- son had attempted to abduct her near the 300 block of Maynard Street early Tuesday morning. According to police Sgt. Jan Suomala, the woman was grabbed by a middle aged man who at- tempted to force her into a pick-up truck. The woman successfully eluded the attacker and reported no injuries. -Thomas Hrach (Continued from Page 1), ticle a few weeks ago describing race problems at the University. In order to correct this problem, Power said, the University should bet- ter publicize the efforts it makes to at- tract minority students and faculty. THE UNIVERSITY already spends a good deal of its resources on attracting #nd retaining women and minorities. The affirmative action office alone received over $300,000 last year, and mnuch of the recruiting is done by in- dividual colleges and departments in- aependently of that office. One of the things the University does is set a "model" number of women and minorities for each University position. The affirmative action office deter- mines how available women and minorities are for different jobs by looking at statistics like the number of Ph.D. candidates for a given field. If the dumber of minorities and women currently in the field is lower than that target, then the affirmative action of- fice will give preference to minority and women candidates who are as well qualified as their white or male coun- terparts. The University actually offered faculty positions to nine minority can- didates and 10 women who rejected the offer, Nordby said. Regent James Waters (D-Muskegon) said the University should have found out why the offers were rejected. "We can't know if there was any good faith effort (by the University) if there wasn't any follow up," he said. But despite the mostly bad news, Regent Roach found a bright side. "If we hadn't done as much as we've done, these numbers would be much lower," he said. "We have to keep running the race." Roach also said the University's problems aren't unique. "We're not atypical. Everyone has these problems," he said. "Very few univer- sities have the extensive program that we do." -HAPPENINGS- Highlight Michigan Alliance for Disarmament is sponsoring a rally at 1 p.m., at Elbel Field, corner of Hill and S. Division, to demonstrate local support for today's march and rally in Washington, D.C. to protest the apartheid and a support a freeze or a reduction of the arms race, etc. { Film C2-Gallipoli, 7 p.m., Angell Aud. A. AAFC- Pink Flamingos, 7 p.m., Reefer Madness, 8:45 p.m., MLB 4. CG- Life of Brian, 7 p.m., Nat. Sci. Aud. Alt. Act.- Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 7 p.m., MLB 3. MTF- Apocalypse Now, 7 p.m., Michigan Theater. Performances Performance Network-Extremities, 8 p.m., 408 W. Washington. School of Music- Recitals: oboe, Adriana Dalpra, 2 p.m.; harpsichord, Joanne Vollendorf, 4 p.m.; piano, Stephanie Leon, 6 p.m.; clarinet, Jane Carl, 8 p.m.; Recital Hall. Harpsichord, Vivan Montgomery, 8 p.m., Cam- pus Chapel; faculty dance, 8 p.m., Studio A, Dance Bldg. Major Events- Concert, Tubes & Utopia, 7:30 p.m., Hall Aud. Ark-Calennig, 8p.m., 637 S. Main. Meetings Ann Arbor Go Club-2 p.m., 1433 Mason Hall. Ann Arbor War Tax Dissidents-noon, 602 E. Huron. Miscellaneous Washtenaw Community College- Career Conference, 9 a.m., WCCC. Museum of Art- cocktails/buffet/ball, Sherman Mitchell's Quartet, 7 p.m., Museum of Art. Human Sexuality-Fourth Annual Exploring Gay Issues Conference, 9 a.m., Law Club Lounge. U-M Rowing Team- Ragatta, 10:30 a.m., Gallup Park. Future Classics-Second annual Universal Caliko Tournament, 10 a.m., Union Cafe. Ann Arbor Action for Soviet Jewry- "An Evening of Solidarity with Soviet