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BEST OFANNARBOR
BEST SPORTS
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Best football player
Anthony Carter
No real surprise.
Best basketball player
Eric Turner
The Extra-terrestrial.
Best baseball player
Chris Sabo
Best halftime diversion
Seventh graders playing basket-
ball at halftime during the
Michigan-Northwestern
basketball game.
Worst halftime diversion
Singer Ty Cool
At the last two Michigan basketball
games of the season.
Best football game
UCLA 31, Michigan 27
Best athletic feat
Michael Leach's NCAA
Best place to find a pick
up game
IM Building
Best time and place to swin
Bell Pool, 7 a. m.
And why do you suppose it's so empty?
Best place to look like
you're working out
In front of any sorority house.
Everyone's sport
Crew
Why does it seem like every student on
campus has rowed at one time or
another?
Best salary of any
Michigan Graduate
(or non-graduate)
Anthony Carter
Most needing of
improvement
The Women's basketball team
The hockey team is a close second.
Most difficult players to
replace
Leo Brown and Anthony Car-
ter.
1
cident in October of 1981. Nine short
months later, Bruce made the World
Team in tower diving.
Bruce is an Ann Arbor Pioneer alum-
nus and two-time state diving champion
on the springboard. But tower diving is
Bruce's forte. At just 12 years of age,
Bruce made it to the finals of the
Nationals in tower diving. At 13, he
placed 14th in the Olympic trials. Bruce
became the youngest ever to win tie
tower Nationals when he was 16. Setting
new records seems to be a way of life
for this diving whiz. He has won the
most age-group diving championships
-14.
Bruce brought his diving talents to
Michigan where his father, Dick Kim-
ball, is head diving coach. Bruce en-
joyed a very good rookie season with
the Wolverines. All-American honors
capped the season for him as he placed
ninth in one meter and sixth in three
meter diving events at the NCAA.
The Pan American Games, being
held this summer in Caracas,
Venezuela and the 1984 Olympics are
two future goals for Ann Arbor's best
athlete.
Best athlete
Bruce Kimball
ANN ARBOR'S BEST athlete is
Michigan freshman All-America diver,
Bruce Kimball. Most will recognize
Bruce's name from the national atten-
tion he received following his amazing
diving comeback after a severe car ac-
By Bradford Parks
't I'VE GOT TO change my life,"
says Mary, out loud.
Henry stops looking at his hand and
starts looking at Mary. "Maybe you
should." They are both on drugs, and
not quite all there.
"O.K., I will." Mary picks up Henry's
hunting rifle and pulls the trigger.
"Whoa," says Henry. He's been hit
hard in the shoulder and there's some
blood.
"You shouldn't have done that," says
Henry, through gritted teeth.
"Yeah," says Mary, putting down the
hunting rifle. "Bad trip."
* * *
It used to be that Mary could just pick
a dress out of the closet and wear that.
It fit great, it highlighted her face and
eyes, and her parents said she was very
pretty. It made her feel good to walk
down the street and watch herself
reflected in windows, looking good.
Things were different now. Most of
her old clothes were gone. She gave
them away or put them in the garbage.
She hated them. They were silly, ex-
travagant, the kind of clothes suburban
girls wore, checking their make-up in
little hand mirrors, or sifting through
their handbags for vaseline or kleenex.
Now Mary wore whatever felt right.
Sleeveless stenciled T-shirts, headban-
ds, vinyl pants so impossibly tight that
she had to breathe out in little gasps. It
was great fun. Her friends thought she
looked great. They wanted her to dye
her hair blue, but she told them that
was passe.
The trip to the hospital is pleasant
and uneventful. Both Mary and Henry
are still seeing things. The ambulance
driver looks like a giant moth with
wings of solid titanium. They're zipping
down the highway like insulin from a
syringe. Henry moans. "It's o.k.," says
Mary, touching his head gingerly.
Mary is straight enough to tell the
doctors it was all an accident. She
didn't know the safety was off, and in
the future she'll try to be more careful.
The doctors wrap Henry's shoulder up
in lots of sweet white gauze and give
him painkillers. Later, Mary paces
around the living room in her stocking
feet and apologizes.
"I'm sorry, Henry. I just don't know
what came over me," says Mary.
"Things happen," says Henry.
"I'm really sorry."
"Don't sweat it."
"How does it feel?"
"It's bearable."
"Good. Good." Mary paces around
the room some more, and starts ripping
magazines into little pieces. The pieces
scatter wherever she walks and the
whole thing develops a pleasant little
rhythm, like an irregular heartbeat or
drums in the Congo. Henry nods out.
Mary's shredded one magazine and
starts on another.>
Henry came into Mary's life like a
fire engine into a living room. She met
him at a party for art students at
Michigan State University, and fell for
him with the gorgeous inevitability only
terrifying mistakes can bring. Henry
was a curling iron set at the hottest set-
ting imaginable, and Mary was going to
curl her hair, even it if was burned to
the roots in the process. Henry was a
hunk of beefcake and she liked hers
rare. Henry was ... Henry, and Mary
loved and lusted for him like nothing
before or since.
To Henry, Mary was a calm wind on
badly scarred beachland. Stability,
function, good curvy breasts and big
watery brown eyes. A nice woman, a
good provider. But like camping in the
wild, there's a time when the provisions
just run out.
* * *
ARY IS AT the art school, passing
time, when she sees a guy that
she wants. He looks different. His
clothes match. He shaves. There are no
earrings in either of his ears. What was
he doing at the art school? Mary thrusts
her chest out and walks over to him.
"Got any cigarettes?"
The wonderful guy turns towards her.
He's wearing a grey Oxford shirt with
two buttons unbuttoned, and a tie. He's
holding onto his sportsjacket with one
finger through the hanging loop in the
back and he smiles. His teeth are white
and pretty even. He has cigarettes, and
gives Mary one, lights it for her, and
lights another for himself.
"Busy?"
They go to Mary and Henry's apar-
tment. Henry is gone for the week,
teaching executives in California to use
his company's vibration reducers.
Mary stops the handsome man in the
entryway. She falls onto her knees and
rips open his pants. She sucks him off in
the entryway. There's nothing for the
Oxford man to hold onto and he almost
loses his balance a couple of times.
Mary wants to bite through him, cripple
him, and wishes he'd lose his balance.
His semen tastes pithy and routine.
Mary wants something more. The man
__.
__________________________ I
Best basketball game
Purdue 80, Michigan 77
(triple overtime)
Strongest athlete
Paul Girgash
singles championship
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Best Swimming meet
January 28,1983. Michigan
over Indiana
With close to 1000 fans crowded into
the stands of Matt Mann pool, the
Wolverine's men's swim team came
from behind to defeat powerhouse In-
diana. Michigan had only beaten the
Hoosiers once since 1962.
Most sadistic
The UCLA Bruin
This crazy bear was unlucky enough to
have the Michigan cheerleaders split
his legs against the uprights during the
regular season Michigan-UCLA game.
Only the damn thing kept coming back
for more.
Friendliest coach
Bill Frieder
Best sport for those who
love to party
Rugby
A quarter keg is their official mascot.
in the Oxford shirt throws her back-
wards onto the floor and actually tears
her shirt off her back. It makes wren-
ching noises and cuts off her breathing
for a few seconds. This is something
more. He squeezes her breasts like he
expects them to pop. He kisses her, his
tongue clogging her mouth. While he
undresses she touches herself through
her clothes. He has another hard-on and
she grabs it. She pulls off her pants and
gets on top of him, watching his face.
Her brown eyes water like they always
do. He has a clean, well-ordered face,
like a track star or a president, and
when his mouth opens you can see his
very white teeth after the gums. He
looks like an advertisement. Mary
rams herself down on him harder, hur-
ting herself. Her eyes keep watering.
Mr. Oxford shirt holds onto her hips
and brings her up and down, up and
down. He moans. Mary screams like
she's been sliced open and there's no
hope of keeping things together.
Afterwards, they rest.
'* * *
Mary doesn't like to be alone in the
apartment. She feels trapped. She
thinks of suicide. She thinks of all the
things she should be doing, all the
things her parents talked about when
she left for college: Freedom, money.
Responsibility. Finding yourself.
Sometimes things seem as bad as they
are. Mary-paces around the apartment
and drinks. She has to change her life.
But nothing seems to work.
Everything's a hazy mess, a bloody
mess, like crawling through broken
glass on your hands and knees, looking
for your contacts. Mary gulps at her
drink.
It used to be that life was written in
short sentences, with no caps, like large
print books in the library. Now
everything ended in exclamation poin-
ts, exclamation points and crossed-out
question marks, dozens of onion-thin
pages scattered around in no particular
order. People are so busy today, Mary
thinks. You can't get their attention
without a twenty-one gun salute.
* * *
"What's this?"
"Just try it. Come on, try it."
Mary takes a green and white capsule
and drinks it with her Kool-Aid.
"Another."
Mary takes another. "What'll this do
to me?"
"Nothing you haven't had done to you
before."
"Oh." Mary drinks some more Kool-
Aid. The art school cafeteria is
crowded. Some of Mary's friends are
here, popping pills. Jon and Gabby are
arguing at the next table. Mary looks
out the window. It's mid afternoon and
the light outside is bright and brash.
Somebody taps her on the shoulder.
"Do you think there'll be a war?"
"Who cares?" says Mary. Her frien-
ds laugh.,
"I do. I care." Mary's never seen this
guy before and his face is getting blurry
around the edges. The drugs, she
thinks.
"Why? Why should you care?" Mary
says. She really wants to know.
"Because I like being alive. I like
living."
"That's pretty passe." Mary's friends
really break up at that, giggling all
down the table. Mary starts giggling
too, and pretty soon she can't stop.
* * *
MARY AND HENRY are exactly
alike, Mary thinks, and if they're
not, they soon will be. When they con-
nected it was magic, controlled
mechanics, like two starfish inter-
twining in the salty ocean. They com-,
plemented each other perfectly. Henry
liked art, she
Henry liked to
do everything
was willing t
anywhere, for
the experienc
mative years,
Henry and her
as they got o
down, mellow
in her life Mar
to be, in lov
meeting new I
tired cliches
living.
Mary com
without knock
Henry?"
Mary walks
her friends ar
with her knee
Henry's fuckir
Jon, Diedre ai
on the couch.
everything on
"Oh Jesus,
good," says G
"I know bak
The white gau
like it's holding
in an easy
everything. Sh
the whole thing
stray strand o
Someone offer
drinks it. It's d
If all the
doesn't want t
for seats, or pi
When those cu
to be the one,
drift to, color i
the belle of th
rolling off a cl
director befor
script.
"Look out,"
falls on the
covered below
cream, around
back of her ca
together with s
giggles. Mary
eyes.
Diedre is go
somebody else
out of her mot
under her nos
sucking him a
ced, like a bit
stagehand righ
This isn't in th
isn't right at al
Somebody sI
ass and she res
Mary drives
some new clot
bench near
newspaper an
She's wearing
shirt and pant
She picks at he
business sectio
tell anything's
her lipstick out
applies it with
The lipstick sr
and she break
the shopping
customers star
just walk by.
She looks lik
ness, to bad thi
brown eyes ju
she wipes her <
hand, but it's
everywhere. S
ornament, lik
sense of crime.
crying, and wa
now, before it's
Best IM team
0
Rumsey House,
3'
(overall)
West Quad
Best diversion
during a game
The two guys with yellow Leo
Brown t-shirts who go stark,
raving bananas at the
basketball game.
2nd place - To the folks who spend en-
tire football games trying to get a single
unbroken piece of toilet paper from the
outer edge of Michigan stadium down to
the field.
A word from the judge
The quality of the entries was, in my opinion,
mixed. But the winners stand out: They have a
purpose and control - an authority -- that the
others lack. They are dramatic and their
language is pure and direct, and they speak to
their readers with nouns and verbs and images
that are clear and unmistakable. Bloody stubs of"
wings, a naked girl covered below the waist with
shaving cream - these are powerful, memorable
images which convey much in only afew words.
My congratulations to the winners.
- William Hollinger
Honorable mention: The Molding of Muriel, by Lisa
Nicole Finkle.
William Hollinger is a member of the English
Department faculty. His stories have appeared in a
number of periodicals. The Fence-Walker, his first
book, a war novel set in Korea in the late 1960s, will be
published next winter.
8 Weekend/April15,1983
21