4
OPINION
Tuesday, November 18, 1980
Page 4
iS ,
Anita in the
Now I don't mean to start any gossip or
anything, but you'd never guess who I saw in
the Rubaiyat last week. No, it wasn't Harlan
Hatcher. It wasn't Deane Baker. It wasn't But-
ch Woolfolk.
Believe it or not, cuddling together near the
dance floor of Ann Arbor's hottest gay/straight
bar/disco were Anita Bryant and Bailey Smith.
ANITA BRYANT you've surely heard of.
She is the world-famous Miss America-turned-
orange-juice-hawker who was born again as a
part-time moralist and full-time homosexual
BW tticisms
By Howard Witt
Bailey Smith, on the other hand, m
a bell for you right away. He is the pa
First Baptist Church in Del City,
and president of the Southern Bapti
tion.
PARSON SMITH is the same mant
who last month told a crowd of 1
national evangelical conference in I
"God Almighty does not hear the p
Jew."
More recently the good pastor-m
he is not at all anti-Semitic -
congregation that Jews have fun
noses. Sounding peculiarly Jewish t
said: "There are some people with
works more intimately than others
say? I don't know. Why did Hec
Jews? I don't know why He chose t
think they got funny-looking noses, n
So anyway, here I am shaking my
ding my own booty, when I suddenly
perfect half-turn and find myself
Anita and Bailey. Rubbing my conta
disbelief, I quietly boogied over to
on their conversation. Anita seemed
"OH, I CAN'T stand it, Bailey. h
been so turbulent. I was Miss Ameri
sex queen. I sold millions of
Americans orange juice. Then I'm t
do my faithful duty and call a queF
and what happens? My Sunshine Tr
up at the roots."
"There, there," Bailey soothed. "J
God. He will hear your prayers."
"But Bailey," Anita countered,
praying. Then I got hooked on V
sleeping pills and wine-"
"What kind of wine?" Bailey inter
"Oh, I think it was Gallo Chablis,
Rubaiyat
ay not ring remember. Then I started fighting with my
astor of the hunk of a husband."
Oklahoma "Thank God it wasn't Manischewitz," Bailey
st Conven- sighed in relief.
"NO, IT WAS Bob, my husband. I was driven
of the cloth to consider suicide. I did that embarrassing in-
5,000 at a terview with Ladies' Home Journal as a kind of
Dallas that confession-I thought it would purge my sins.
)rayer of a And now here I am; in this filthy den of
heathens. Why did you bring me to this hideous
vho claims place? There's fags everywhere!"
told his "Now, Anita," Bailey cautioned. "Remem-
my-looking ber your new philosophy: 'Live and Let Live,
himself, he Dance and Let Dance.' This kind of thing is
whom God good therapy for you."
Why, you Anita bowed her head. "I suppose you're
choose the right, Bailey. It's just that they're flaunting-it
he Jews. I so. I mean, look at that awful man with the
nyself." ankle bracelet. It's disgusting!"
body, min- "That's not a man, dear. That's a woman.
y execute a The one over there with the earring is a man,"
staring at Bailey corrected.
ct lenses in "Oy, could I use some OJ," Anita moaned.
eavesdrop "You know, it's not just for breakfast
hysterical. anymore," she added, as if to apologize.
ly life has "Waiter!" Bailey called out, "An orange
ca, a young juice for the lady!"
clean-cut THE TWO SAT quietly for awhile, trying to
born again,. decide which gyrating bodies on the dance
er a queer, floor would soon be burning in hell. Bailey took
ee is pulled a sip of his wine.
"Ugh! This wine tastes like Mogen David!"
Just turn to he coughed.
"Oh, Jeez!" Anita exclaimed, not paying at-
"I tried tention to the pastor. "Do you see that stud over
'alium and there on the dance floor? Ooohh, what a man!'"
"What, you mean the guy with the.huge
jected. nose?" Bailey asked.
but I don't "Yeah, and the curly brown hair. If I could
S Yup!
only make sure he isn't gay. Talk about a
physical attraction-"
"But Anita-he looks like a...a...Hebrew!
He's a Jew! A Pinocchio face!" Bailey blurted.
"I KNOW, I know. But I'm attracted to him. I
can't understand it."
"Anita . . . Why?" Bailey asked, tears
welling up in his eyes.
"I don't know," she answered.
"Why did you choose the Jew?" he asked.
"I don't know why I chose the Jew," she an-
swered.
"He's got such a funny-looking nose," Bailey
wailed. "Look at him bumping into everyone on
the dance floor. He's so pushy!"
"Oh, they're all like that," Anita agreed.
"My daughter is taking an economics course at
college and she says there are always hundreds
of them with their little beanies pushing to get
the best seats-"
"SEATS! Seats! Oh, praise the Lord!"
Bailey jumped. "I'd almost forgotten. I have a
surprise for you-I bought two tickets to see
'Drag' tonight over at the Mendelssohn
Theatre."
"Oh. . .uh. . .great, Bailey. Do you have a
Valium?"
I couldn't hear Bailey's answer, for during
the entire conversation I had been drifting
away from the pair, trying not to be noticed.
It was just as well. I had an econ test the next
morning and had to get going anyway. I blew
my nose and pushed my way through the
crowd.
I haven't seen them since.
Howard Witt is the co-editor of the
Daily's Opinion page. His column appears
every Tuesday.
hunter. In the December issue of Ladies' Home
journal (available on the newsstands today, I
am told), dear Anita tells of her new life
hilosophy-"live and let live." Among other
things, she admits she married her former
husband because of his "physical attraction,"
,,suggests that she may have been unfaithful in
her marriage ("I can't say I'm totally in-
'',nocent. I can't pretend to be lily-white"), con-
cedes she has been hooked on Valium, sleeping
ills, and wine at various times in recent years,
'and explains that she has contemplated
suicide.
"I guess I can better understand the gays'
and the feminists' anger and frustration,"
Anita says. "I'm more inclined to say live and
let live, just don't flaunt it or try to legalize it."
Anita Bryant
~1
Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan
420 Maynard St.
Vol.XCINo65Ann Arbor, MI 48109
Editorials represent a majority opinion of the Daily's Editorial Board
SALT and the test ban
LETTERS TO THE DAILY:
Sexism column harassed engineers
I
To the Daily:
Apparently, Julie Selbst had an
unfortunate experience with her
summer job (Daily, November
12). This is regrettable. No one
can condone sexual harassment
in any form. It seems equally un-
fortunate that, in reporting this
summer of misery,' Ms. Selbst
chose to get in a few digs at the
members of an ancient - an
honorable profession, namely
engineers.
She had an opportunity to write
an article that could have opened
some eyes; instead, she came up
with another skirmish in the
unending war of words, mostly
carried on upon bathroom walls,
between those studying the
sciences and those studying the
humanities. She has trotted out
most of the weary cliches that my
compatriots in the School of
Engineering and I are thoroughly
tired of hearing. -
She sees engineers as "dull,"
illiterate-"coqldn't even discuss.
Yeats, let alone John Stuart Mills
(sic) '-sexist persons of little
consequence ("no kidding,
'materials handling con-
sultant' "). These stereotypes
are thoroughly inaccurate, as
well as valueless. Specifically,
how many people discuss Yeats
on their coffee break, anyway?
And, what better name for an ex-
pert on materials handling, a
person, incidentally, without
whom Ms. Selbst probably would
have been unemployed last
summer? She bites the hand that
feeds her.
As to the harassment, I am the
first to agree that there are sexist
engineers, just as there are sexist
telephone linemen, airplane
pilots, nurses, and yes, political
scientists. However, there may
have been a small misinter-
pretation on the part of Ms. Selbst
of several innocent gestures. A
man saying, "She's ours now; we
can molest her" in this day -and
age is almost certainly parodying
the action expected of him by a
feminist. And, "God, you have a
sexy voice' could as easily be a
mere flip remark as it could an
attempt tamake time with a
secretary.
I agree that "the real issue is
changing behavior and changing
attitudes." I suggest that this ad-
vice may be equally valuable to
both women and men, scientists
and humanists.
-Michael R. Moon
November 13
4
INCE THE United States obliterated
Hiroshima,.and Nagasaki in 1945,
international pressures have become
infinitely more dangerous. Many world
problems arethought of as strictly in-
ternal political matters, but hanging
over each and every confrontation
between adversary nations (par-
ticularly those aligned with the op-
posing superpowers) is the spectre of
nuclear war and devastation.
Many observers believe the greatest
hope for minimizing the likelihood of
annihilation is approval of the nuclear
test-ban accords now being negotiated
in Geneva, Switzerland. Since 1977, the
U.S.S.R., United States, and Great
Britain have been meeting intermit-
tently in an attempt to hammer out an
agreement that would prohibit the
testing of any nuclear device.
*Leaders of the nations expect
(reasonably enough) that a ban on
nuclear testing would dictate a slowing
or cessation of the development of new
nuclear technological monsters and
perhaps slow the further production of
already-established weaponry.
News reports from Geneva indicate
that the four-year-old talks are looking
up; the Soviet and American
negotiating teams have even worked
out such details as the establishment of
seismic stations that would gauge the
other's large-scale explosive
detonation.
All three nations' diplomats agree
that changes in American nuclear
weapon policy are a setback to the
passage of the test-ban treaty. The
Carter administration's vacillating
approach to the problem has seriously
hindered the talks, but worse still is the
uncertain fate of the second Strategic
Arms Limitation Treaty, the goals of
which tie in to those of the test ban.
Ronald Reagan has signaled an in-
tention to scrap SALT II altogether in
favor of a treaty more favorable to a
U.S. buildup.eOn this point, we would
hope to see a bit of Republican incon-
sistency, if for no other reason than
that any further delay on SALT could
spell the death of the test-ban treaty.
And that would leave us with very little
hope of ever derailing the suicidal ar-
ms race.
Popular books defended
To the Daily:
It is clear from Abigail Meisel's
letter to the Daily on November
14 that she has misunderstood the
purpose and management of the
UGLI's popular reading (PRON-
TO) collection. The collection
originated in response to
repeated patron requests for best
sellers and leisure reading. The
books are leased from a com-
mercial firm at a cost of well un-
der $3 per book. Books are retur-
ned to the vendor when there is no
longer a demand, but we are
allowed to keep a certain percen-
tage of the titles at no additional
cost.
The UGLI book budget has not
been cut, and this contract does
not affect the purchase of books
needed for course work. Staff
costs have been minimal since
the books come partially
processed, but it is possible that if
our personnel budget continues to
be reduced, the PRONTO collec-
tion will be eliminated.
All in all we feel that this small
service has been a workable and
successful method of responding
to our patrons wishes while main-
taining the quality of our per-
manent collection. It is apparent
from its heavy use by students,
faculty, and staff that many
others share this opinion.
Rose-Grace Faucher
Head, Undergraduate
Library
November 14
I
Reeves RA defended
Profs signed Carter ad
To the Daily:
An advertisement on page E7
of the November 2 New' York
Times endorsing Ronald Reagan
for president was signed by the
following University professors:
Joseph Adelson, Marjorie
Doehrman, Gunter Duffy, Mar-
tha Gyzinski, Raymond Tanter,
and Stephen Tonsor. They ap-
parently agree with the following
premises, which were listed in
the ad:
(1) A Reagan Administration
will establish a consistent and ef-
fective foreign policy.
(2) A Reagan Administration
will offer promising and in-
novative approaches to domestic
economic growth.
(3) This nation cannot afford
another four years of Jimmy Car-
ter's disastrous foreign policy or
another four years of inflation
and recession.
Fortunately, Ronald Reagan
has been more specific on these
issues than was this adver-
tisement.
A consistent and effective
foreign policy should begin with
basics, like knowing the differen-
ce between Taiwan and Thailand.
It should continue in the
traditions of U.S. foreign policy,
such as the recognition and
development of detente with
decisions); or tax programs
which are potentially regressive
and proportional at best.
President Carter was correct in
his attack on Reagan's call for
additional military spending
beyond the present three-
percent-above inflation commit-
ment to NATO. In the aftermath
of the election, not only have the
Soviets spurned Reagan's ap-
peal, they have publicly joined
the new military build-up. Mr.
Reagan has accomplished in four
days what Jimmy Carter could
not do in four years.
As for the inflation and
recession, extended economic,
hardships are the result of many
things beyond a president's con-
trol. Within the president's con-
trol, through tax manipulation,
are long-term commitments by
the private sector toward resear-
ch, development, and plant im-
provement. The eight years of
Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford
did more to devastate the
economy of the past four years
than has any effort on the part of
Carter. The election ploy of pum-
ping the economy (committed
four times between 1968 and 1976)
was inflationary. And decisions
by the big three auto companies
to refrain from expanded small
car competition (until recently)
To the Daily: ,
I am a resident of Reeves
House at Markley Hall, and I am
writing in response to the hazing
incident involving a freshman
hockey player and fellow resident'
on October 12 of this year. I had
not originally intended to com-
pose such a letter, for I hadn't
thought it was necessary-until
now. I am a friend of the hazing
victim and of Steven Krahnke,
the resident advisor of my floor.
The fact that the information
given to the press by Krahnke
concerning the hazing incident
was misconstrued to varying
degrees does not seriously con-
cern me at the moment. What
does concern me is the stand that
Athletic Director Don Canham
has taken on the issue. I cannot
understand how anyone who was
not a witness to the result of this
crime or a resident of the 4th floor
of Reeves House could draw an
accurate conclusion about the en-
tire incident. How could a man of
Canham's stature act so
irresponsibly? I'm afraid only he
could answer that. I would like to
have it known at this time that I
believe it was Canham, not
Krahnke, who acted irrespon-
.sibly.
Some complain that the in-
tegrity of Krahnke, the freshman
hockey player, and the residents
of 4th Reeves in general, has been
insulted. I believe that it has-but
only through misinterpreted fact.
I believe that it was Canham who
insulted the integrity of The
University of Michigan as a
whole by speaking out so
foolishly.
I am proud to be a resident of
this hall and I am proud to be a
student at The University of
Michigan. I believe that I am a
fortunate person to be able to call
the men of 4th Reeves my friends
and they in return to call me a
friend. I feel hesitant to speak out
against a man as powerful as
Canham, but I feel that it is my
responsibility as a resident of 4th
Reeves and right as a citizen to
do so. It is a sad thing to see a
man like Canham show no com-
passion in a situation like this. I
believe that Canham owes not
only Steven Krahnke, or the
freshmen hockey players that
were hazed, or the residents of
4th Reeves, but also the Univer-
sity as a whole, an apology for the
actions and/or lack of action that
he took concerning the hazing in-
cident.
-James P. Wood
November 13
Thanks to city council
To the Daily:
The Michigan Student Assem-
bly Security Task Force would like
to thank Ann Arbor Mayor Lou
Belcher and city council for their
recent addition of overhead night
lighting on Hill Street.
Through the efforts of
Panhellenic President Kathy
Kelly and other concerned in-
immediately. Now, thanks to this
effective collaboration, both the
University of Michigan students
and the Ann Arbor community
can travel in safety. We hope the
mayor and council will continue
to listen to student concerns in
the future.
-Beth Dochinger
Michigan Student
Assembly Representative
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I