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May 12, 1971 - Image 9

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
Michigan Daily, 1971-05-12

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SANDALS
CUSTOM FIT
MANY STYLES, ANY DESIGN
$15.00
Mostly Leather
804 S. State, downstairs

DAILY OFFICIAL BULLETIN Soviets start
trial of Jews

Groovy Gifts for Grabby Grads
Yes, I know how busy you are-cramming for finals, decipher-
ing your notes, helping old grads find their dentures after Class
Day-but let me interrupt your manifold activities-cramming
for finals, deciphering your notes, searching fot meat in the dormi-
tory stew-to remind you that Commencement Day is almost upon
us, and it's high time you started shopping for presents to give
your friends who are graduating. So pause a moment in your busy
schedule-cramming for finals, deciphering your notes, raising
bail-to look over this list of charming gift suggestions.
We will start with the hardest gift problem of all: what do
you give the person who has everything? Well sir, here are some
gifts I promise you he does not have:
1. A low hurdle.
2. A street map of Perth, Australia.
3. Fifty pounds of goose fat.
4. A supply of Miller High Life Beer.
"What?" you exclaim, your young eyebrows leaping in per-
pendicular incredulity.. "The person who has everything does not
have a supply of Miller High Life Beer?" you rasp, your young
lips curling in horizontal derision. "What arrant nonsense!" you
snarl, makinga coarse gesture.
But I reply with an emphatic "No!" The person who has
everything, I insist, does not have a supply of Miller High Life
Beer-not for long anyhow-because if he is a person who enjoys
a beer light but mellow, hearty but delicate, a beer that cloys not,
neither does it pall, a beer that is forever amber and forever
ambrosia, a beer deliciously dependable and dependably delicious,
a beer, in short, for all seasons-if, I say, he is a person who enjoys
such a beer-and who does not? eh? who does not?-then he does
not have a supply of Miller High Life. What he has is a supply
of empty Miller cans and bottles and a thirst that could turn
dangerous if neglected.
So of course we will give all our graduating friends plenty
of Miller High Life. And if you're looking for some additional
gifts, too, here are more suggestions :
* /
For someone graduating with a degree in American history,
how about a hand-blown jade figurine of Millard Fillmore with a
* clock in the stomach? (Mr. Fillmore, incidentally, was the only
American president with a clock in his stomach. It's true of course
that James K. Polk had a stem-winder in his head and Chester A.
Arthur, as you know, chimed on the quarter-hour, but only Mr.
Fillmore of all our chief executives had a clock in his stomach.
To be sure, Franklin Fierce had a sweep second hand and Zachary
Taylor ticked and Martin Van Buren had a Swiss movement but,
I repeat, Mr: Fillmore and Mr. Fillmore alone had a clock in his'
stomach. Moreover, Mr. Fillmore was the first president with
power steering. Small wonder they called him "Old Hickory!")
But I digress. Returning to Graduation gifts, here is another
that is sure to please-a gift certificate from the American Society
of Chiropractors. Accompanying each certificate is this enchanting
little poem:
Is your tailbone now a failbone?
Has your sacrum been dislodged?
Are you hating vertebrating?
Come right in and get massaged.
Is your lumbar growing number?
Has your pelvis run agrond?
Does your caudal tend to dawdle?
Come right in and let us pound.
Finally, if you have a music-loving friend, how about a per-
sonal portable radio that plugs right into his ear? Next year you
can give him a little pick to dig the plug out.
* *
When the excitement of Commencement is over,we,the brewers
of Miller Beer, have what seems to us a fine suggestion: sit down
for a peaceful moment and relax with a glass of Miller. If you've
got the time, we've got the beer.

y.°x: zr,<:: s s : date for the Spring Half Term when
the Registrar's Office will:
official publication o tehe Uniter- a. Accept the Student 100 per cent
tity of Michigan. Notices should be withdrawal notice for refund purposes.
sent in TYPEWRITTEN FORM to b. Allow refund for the student who
room 3528 L.S.A. Bldg,., before 2 reduces hours of course credit below
p.m. of the day preceding publica- full time.
tion and by 2 p.m. Friday for May 27, 1971 (4:00 p.m.) is the last
Saturday and Sunday. Items appear date for the Spring Half Teri when
once only. Stodent organization the Registrar's Office wl allow refund
notices are not accepted for pub- for a 50 per cent withdrawal.
lieation. For more information, May 20, 1971 (4:00 p.m.) is the last
phone 764-9270. date for the Spring-Summer Term when
WEDNESDAY, MAY 1! the Registrar's Office wilt:
a. Accept the Student 100 per cent
withdrawal notice for refund purposes.
Day Calendar b.Allow refund for the student who
reduces hours of course credit below
Botany Seminar: Dr. L. C. Eaton, In- full time.
diana State Univ., "Population Var- June 17, 1971 (4:00 p.m.) is the last
ability in the Ranunculus Occidentalls date for the Spring-Summer Term when
Comples,' 1139 Nat. Sci. Bldg., 4 p.m. the Registrar's Office will allow refund
for a 50 per cent withdrawa.
General Notices Exception: Appropriate adjustment
- ~will be made for those schools havin
Attention Students: classes which commence other than
May 20, 1971 (4:00 p.m.) is the last May 5, 1971.
VOLKSWAGEN OWNERS
WAGON WERKE
SPRING TUNE-UP SALE
-COUPON-
* WITH THIS COUPON A SPRING
TUNE-UP INCLUDING PLUGS AND POINTS
only 12.95 -
* SAME DAY SERVICE AVAILABLE
AND WARRANTEED WORK
1245 Rosewood, Ann Arbor-Phone: 662-2576
* GOOD UNTIL SAT., MAY 22
Announcing Short Way Line's
New-BUS SERVICE-New
Weekdays between Weekdays
5:15 P.M. LV ANN ARBOR AR 9:35 P.M.
5:20 P.M. MICHIGAN UNION 9:30 P.M.
5:40 P.M. YPSILANTI 9:10 P.M.
6:10 P.M.- PLYMOUTH 8:45 P.M.
(DOWNTOWN )
6:25 P.M. NORTHVILLE 8:35 P.M.
(DOWNTOWN)
6:40 P.M. LIVONIA 8:20 P.M.
(7 MILE & MIDDLEBELT)
6:50 P.M. NORTHWEST DETROIT 8:10 P.M.
(7 MILE & TELEGRAPH)
7:00 P.M. SOUTHFIELD 8:00 P.M.
(TELEGRAPH & 12 MILE)
7:30 P.M. AR PONTIAC LV 7:40 P.M.
INFORMATION CALL 662-5511
SeX IS YOUR BUSINESS
birth control OURS
We believe your private fife should be your own. And when it
comes to buying contraceptives, the hassle in a crowded drug-
store isn't exactly private. So we've made it possible for you to
get nonprescription contraceptives through the mail.
we specialize in men's contraceptives and we offer two of the most
exciting ones available anywhere-Fetherlite and NuForm condoms.
They're better than anything you can get in a drugstore. Imported
from Britain, they're lighter. thinner, more exciting to use; and-
precision manufacturing and testing techniques make them as re-
liable as any condom anywhere. Made by LRLt world's largest manu-
facturer of men's contraceptives. Fetherlite (the best) and NuFrm
not only conform to exacting USFDA specifications, but are made to
British Government Standard 3704 as well. We think you'll like them.
Our illustrated brochure tells you all about Fetherlite and NuForm
And about seven other American brands which we have carefully
selected from the more than one hundred kinds available today.
And we explain the differences.
We also have nonprescription foam for women and a wide variety
of books and pamphlets on birth control, sex, population, and
ecology.
Want more information? It's free. Just send us your name and
address. Better still, for one dollar we'lls end you all the informa-
tion plus two Fetherlite samples and one NuForm. For four dollars
you'll get the brochure plus three each of five different condom
brands (including both Imports). All correspondence and merchandise
is shipped in a plain over to protect your privacy, and we guarantee
your money back if you're not satisfied with our products. Why wait?

POPULATION PLANNING ASSOC.
lBx 2556-G, Chapel Hill, N.C. 27514
Gentlemen: Please send me: Your free brochure and price
list at no obligation,. Three samples for $1...Deluxe
sampler package for $4.
Name. ............
Address .
City State ....Zip.....
ORDER NOW-LAST CHANCE THIS TERM!

in hijaek case
MOSCOW UP) - Nine. Soviet
Jews, charged with a host of of-
fenses including the hijacking
of an airplane last June - went
on trial yesterday in Leningrad.
Two of the main defendants
in the June plot were sentenced
to death by firing squad last
December, but an appeal court
reduced the sentence in the face
of an international furor over
the severity of the penalty.
The Soviet news agency Tasm
said yesterday that "all the nine
accused entered into a criminal
collusion and committed a num-
ber of punishable criminal of-
fenses."
Reliable but unofficial sourc-
es reported the group was also
charged w it h having received
money and literature from Is-
rael for subversive purposes.
Two of the nine were specif-
ically charged with treason and
five others with stealing state
property - namely a duplicat-
ing machine for printing anti-
Soviet literature - the sources
added.
All of those originally arrest-
ed at the airport have been sen-
tenced to prison terms ranging
from four to 15 years.
Of the nine persons now on
trial, Tass singled out Gilya
Butman and Mikhail Korenblit
and charged that they "were
actively involved in the seizure
of a passenger plane in order
to flee abroad."
Call
Econo-Car
and see:
761-8845
LOCAL NUMBER
S - ----2--
Phane 344-1782
3020 Washtenaw
"Funny,
Important
AND
[ascinating,,r
N.Y, Times
"A Stunner!"NBC-TV
A world where
men and women
play by the
sanme rules.

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