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August 22, 1972 - Image 4

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
Michigan Daily, 1972-08-22

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Edited and managed by students at the
University of Michigan
Editorials printed in The Michigan iDly express the indisidual
opinions of the author. This must be noted in oil reprints.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 22, 1972 News Phone: 764-0552

_By Jerk Anderson

HRPnominations
THE LOCAL Human Rights Party chapter, which met
this weekend in preparation for its Aug. 24 County
convention, has acted positively toward making their
party a more open one.
Last weekend, party members haggled over which
county and state offices to run for, and discussed pos-
sible nominees. The nominees will be chosen Thursday.
In addition, HRP discussed a platform, which will
formally be adopted or rejected at the Thursday session.
Part of the platform discussion focused on recent
criticism that candidates for state and -county offices
only announced their intentions this weekend-less than
one week before the party would choose its nominees.
With such a brief period between- the candidates' an-
nouncements and the formal nominations, those who
don't attend HRP meetings have little idea of the politics
of the candidates, and have little basis for choosing intel-
ligently.
Thus, argued both The Daily in an Aug. 19 editorial,
and members of the party also, the nomination procedure
served to close the party also, the nomination procedure
served to close the party to many of its constitutents.
When the procedure came up for discussion Sunday,
however, the party took action to change things. A new
procedure was passed stating that all future candidates
"are required to announce his/her intentions" to a meet-
ing of the party "at least one month" before the final
nomination date.
Further, candidates will now be required to prepare a
press release announcing their intentions at that time,
and "should feel free to agitate for support of their nom-
ination (i.e. political philosophy)" during the period be-
fore the nominations.
While this new procedure does not by any means
clear up all the problems HRP has had in getting new
people involved in its inner workings, it is a step toward
opening the nominations to all who are interested, and
towards a more intelligent means of choosing between
candidates.
THE PLATFORM will be formally voted on Thursday,
and most party members believe it will be rubber-
stamned without changes. Hopefully, then, this new
procedure will be formalized into the party's rules and
will be used in the future.
The Daily has often supported HRP as the most
open, by far, of the three parties. It is gratifying to see
that group make a new effort to grow more open.
-TAMMY JACOBS
Today's Staff:
News and Editorial pages: Alan Lenhoff, Carla Rapoport
Photo technician: Jim Wallace

Editor's Note:iColumnist Jack Ander-
snis 0n vacation. His distent ceesin
Jerk has consented to take over for the
infamous muckraker this week only.
WASHINGTON - Intelligence re-
ports from CIA agents in Kansas
indicate that this year's crop of
wild marijuana from the "golden
belt" between Topeka and Law-
rence will be sufficient to keep the
entire midwest stoned for 3-4
months.
My son Kevin, who has long hair,
told me that hippies will attempt
to inject the substance into their
body, by crushing the weed, rolling
it into cigarette papers, and light-
ing it in the same manner as Fidel
Castra smokes his blatantly Com-
munist cigars.
According to the CIA reports,
longhairs fromthe University of
Kansas have been nurturing t hea
wild marijuana crop this year with
anti-riot gas they obtained when
cannisters failed to explode after
being fired at them by Kansas
State trooperstdurng student riots
in Lawrence last summer.
This gas, designed to choke off
oxygen from the air, gives the
Kansas marijuana a distinct ad-
vantage over its conventional
counterparts by increasing the
plants' carbon dioxide surplus -
making the plants full of the tar-
ry resin which makes the hippies
delerious.
MEIR FOR MAYOR?
Israeli Prime Minister Golda
Meir, making ever-frequent trips
to America,'reportedly has her eye
on a new job: Mayor of Los An-
geles. Meir thinks the large Jew-
ish population in L.A. will offer
her the needed support. Current
L.A. Mayor Sam Yorty is expect-
ed to discontinue his weekly tele-
vision comedy show in order to
meet this new challenge.
Meanwhile, Meir is considering
a face-lift to help change her im-
age from her present distinguished
world-stateswoman appeal, to the
dashing dynamic image she will
have to project to win over the all-
important Hollywood Hebrew vote.
SYPHILIS SILVER
Stalwart southern Senator James
Eastland of Mississippi may have
been caught with his hand in the
till this time. Insiders say the 'Tus-
kegee Project", which was respon-
sible for the deaths of hundreds of
unwitting blacks due to syphilis,
was actually the outgrowth of East-
land's high school science project.
Eastland's science teacher, 94-
year-old Emmet Cras'y of Crack-
er, Miss., says Eastland's 19 0 8
prize-winning experiment involved
injecting several hundred rabbits
with differing doses of terminal
psoriasis and watching to see which
ones died fastest. Local doctors

liked the idea, and Eastland sold
it to them for an estimated 15 per
cent of the gross.
But the grim experiment proved
to be a lot more gross, certainly,
than Eastland had expected.
The senator denies all involve-
ment in the matter, and his press
secretary tells us he has "stood
solidly behind both rabbits and ne-
groes" for most of his life.
GO TO JAIL
"Monopoly" magnate Sam J.
Parker of Parker Brothers, Inc.,
seems to have been working over-
time to improve his game lately.
A New Jersey grand jury has sum-
moned Parker to answer questions
about what Ocean County. District
Attorney Fred Schmeer calls "con-
niving efforts to swindle the gul-
lible" into paying him for beach-
front lots in Atlantic City that did
not exist in reality.
Schmeer says he's been barrag-
ed with complaints from people
who bought "land" from Parker in
the 3000 and 400 blocks of - you
guessed it - Ventnor, Baltic, Ver-
mont, Connecticut and Kentucky
Avenues, only to discover that
those so-called addresses are sev-
eral miles out in the Atlantic
Ocean.
Parker hasn't made himself
public yet, but when .he does it'll
take him a lot more than rolling
doubles to get out of this one.
THEY'RE PICKING ON ME
(PART II)
Last week I reported the FBI

was following me. This week I'm
even more paranoid.
Last night, my car started by
itself. Dandelions are sprouting all
over my lovely suburban lawn, and
the last magazine salesman that
came to my house still hasn't left
after four days.
Naturally, my family and I are
taking precautions. I have stopped
consuming all foreign products in
an effort to clear my name. I no
longer use my telephone and I
haverthoroughly interrogated my
mailman, milkman and fortune
teller.
One can't be too careful!
BITS AND PIECES
Noted humanitarian John Wayne
gave a benefit party for a child-
ren's home. John gave each of the
youngsters a toy gun, a tin sher-
iff's badge, an American flag and
a haircut. Wayne then told t h e
children proudly, "Orphanages are
the backbone of America - and
the predominate way of life for
children in South Vietnam."
According to sources at the As-
sociated Press (and my trusty tele-
type) South Vietnam plans to en-
ter only one sport in this sum-
mer's Olympic Games. The sport?
It's pistol shooting, and the entry
will be President Nguyen Van
Thieu's personal palace guard.
Extended forecast - Lows this
week in the upper sixties. Mostly
sunny and warmer, in the midwest.
Colder in the west and hot and
humid in Washington.

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