Michigan Daily
Edited and managed by Students at the
University of Michigan
Tuesday, June 25, 1974
News Phone: 764-0552
1 60
10 A
PARTY/
A
A Ft(UiJ6'
EACH 0W6R
F0CVCR - /
Fudging at the OASIS
By CLIFFORD BROWN submissive person. This person respects author-
ity, those older than they are, and take orders
is IS AN ARTiCLE about personality tests well
and how to cheat on them. A personality The above questions require a minimum
test measures your likes, dislikes, personality amount of worry. They are relatively straight-
traits, beliefs, and, on some, your mental sta- forward and simple to cheat on. Who cares any-
bility. The OATS test is the official personality way if you're an introverted whipping boy? But
test of the University. OATS stands for Opinion, the next three require more of your attention
Attitude and Interest Survey. Even though it for they are the most important. On two there
is an exceedingly ridiculous test, it could be still are no right answers but there is definitely
used to hurt you. This article is written to insure a right front to put up as you will see when you
that it doesn't, get a look at the questions. The first of the three
The test covers all fields in a particularly is what you might call an obvious attempt by the
subtle fashion, so -that you could be unaware of tester to weed out the radical and conservative
what kind of answer you may have given on it. among us. Of course middle-of-the-road is pre-
Specific questions I cannot remember, but if my ferred, and in case you may not have already
memory serves me correctly, I can testify to the
fact that it is an asinine farce that is typical of gud'therv.
the University of Michigan. The test is primarily
designed as a way to class you in a certain cate- PICK A NEUROSIS, ANY ONE!
gory without your knowing it. Be careful: you These very humorous questions are not ob-
may be dealing with your future. vious, but they are ridiculous. These rather sub-
The scores are supposed to be used only to tle questions are designed to weed out the neu-
help out your future counselor, but I would not rotics in any crowd. To the wary eye these ques-
be a bit surprised if professors, policemen, and Lions are as ridiculous as any thing you'll find.
future employers could take a look at them if Originally used at mental hospitals to sort pyro-
they wanted to. You'll never get hired by the manias from sexual deviants, those questions
attorney general's office if you're a radical. are the only humor you may find while you go
Bow TO CHEAT through the University orientation.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Before I start directly on the kinds of ques- We have now come to the last type of ques-
tions you will run across, I feel obligated-to give lions that I was able to discern on the OATS
you one very big tip: Be emphatic to the values test: the hypothetical situation. Alas, my friends,
of the tester. Since you know that you are going we have also arrived at the toughest of the tough-
sider tevalues hetester sousl have in.Chiest questions. There are definite right answers to
sider the values the tester should have. In this these, and in case you are not particularly adept
case it is a corporate university, conservative at
with a liberal facade. Before you answer any guessing, you had better read these tips.
question, think; Look at yourself in the mirror. 0 Stay in character as much as possible. If
You too can be conservative with a liberal fa- you have made yourself out to be a slightly sub-
cade. missive, slightly introverted, slightly neurotic
The first types of questions will probably be conservative, then remember that as you go into
looking to search you out. Are you an extrovert? this part. Keep yourself close to your median.
This question will look for your hobbies, wlhether You should perform exactly (or as close as pos-
you like to be with people all the time, some of sible) to the kind of person you have made your-
the time, or not at all. This is chicken feed. Any- self out to be.
one can cheat on these. Merely look at each 0 Don't think too much. Avoid trying to con-
question carefully, and pick out the answers that trol all situations. No one likes a know-it-all.
indicate that you like to be with people no more When you look at the question choose the obvious
than the "normal" amount of time. For example, answer after glancing over the rest. Be sure to
when you have a problem, work it out yourself. remember the character you'ie supposed to be
You study alone and, do homework alone most portraying.
of the time. You cry at funerals only, unless
you're a women. Ridiculous, isn't it? 0 Watch out for multiple questions. A multiple
question is a question with two parts. They are
THE RULERS AND THE RULED very tricky, so tricky I can't even think of an ex-
low submissive are you? Do you give in eas- ample, but be on the lookout for them.
ily? These questions are probing to see if you Now some of you may think that I have no
respect authority, can work with completely ig- honor for telling you to cheat on a test. You're
norant people, and can make decisions indepen- right! No, actually, this is a test that requires
dently. Even though you may think that a com- special care in handling. Cheating on it will only
pany wants a slightly dominant person, you're help you, and rest assured, it won't hurt your
wrong. Most companies would prefer a slightly moral character. It could even be fun.
F0W
CA
A
k' sE
RT00ee'
,P(PJ.
~> ~F'E~CHACSC
TOT EAL-Ot'"
0111ACHC'1U
TOT
CF AWEA
F{f(fi',I k )L? /y'"
M5H'H-Q( iEV f&L
FATE: (CALA