YA-BA-DA-BA-DOOOO
That's the most ridiculous thing ever heat
d
By STEPHEN KURSMAN
FRED FLINTSTONE came to Ann Arbor and he says that
we're all crazy. Yes, just last week I met my old buddy
Fred on I-94. He parked his dinosaur in the bush, climbed
into my car and began chatting about the good old days as
we drove onto the State Street exit ramp.
Well, ve were talking about old times and Fred seemed
oblivious to all the confusion at the Packard intersection.
But as soon as we entered my apartment building he was
blasted by m1any decibels of .Grand Funk. Fred was not
the same after that.
I tried explaining to him that stereo were boxes full
of music and that they were for enjoyment, but he couldn't
seem to understand why anyone would sit inside to listen
to boxes full of music. As he was criticizing sound systems,
the clock struck seven and my roommate flipped on the
tube. He looked at Barbara Walters and listened to the news,
but all Fred could see was my roommate staring at an
image on the side of a box. Fred said that it was unnatural
to watch a box full of images. Then he muttered something
about Barbara Walters, but I can't remember what.
FOR SOME REASON my alarm clock began to buzz.
Before I could turn it off, the water kettle began to whistle
and then the doorbell rang. Fred became exasperated. But
when I turned on the garbage disposal he really blew his
cool and left the apartment in a rage.
I was sorry that my guest was having such a bad time
but I just had to get to the graduate library, so I got my
books and left.
I found Fred on the Diag. He was lying on his back
and staring wildly at the Graduate Library, I looked at
the building myself and was inspired. It was an honor to
be a Wolverine.
"Fred," I said, "that building is filled with books. Books
from all over the world - old books, new books, fat books,
thin books."
Fred looked at me blankly and it was only then I realized
that he didn't know what books were. Nonetheless 'I resolved
to show off the facility. But Fred kept asking me why all
the crazy people were sitting in the tint white rooms. I
decided that Fred wasn't academic. But maybe he'd enjoy
a football game.
g THE NEXT DAY I took him to the MSU game. Fred
didn't understand why there was so much commotion
about getting the football from one end of the field to the
other. When I explained about football he asked why the
fans couldn't help move the ball. He just didn't understand.
He also had a hard time understanding the lewd and ob-
scene gestures directed toward the referee. As I tried to ex-
plain, he noticed Sparty Spartan standing by the MSU bench.
I tried to explain the enthusiasm benerated by football, but
I was getting nowhere.
As we left the stadium, we passed by an apple cider
stand. The person trying to sell the cider began to yell.
"Yummy, yummy, yummy-yummy, yummy, yummy!"
A few people turned around and bought the yummy drink.
Fred said that Ann Arbor people were ridiculous, and I be-
gan feeling a distinct embarrassment for my town.
As I drove Fred back to I-94 he was silent. He climbed
onto his dinosaur and moved into the right lane.
"If this is education," he said, "I'd rather be ignorant!"
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Eighty-Seven Years of Editorial Freedom
420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, MI 48109
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Wednesday, November 3, 1976
News Phone: 764-0552
Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan
The Great Election is over
and the Silly Season begins
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THE GREAT ELECTION of '76, the
Buy - Centennial election, the
Election to Shake the Earth, is over.
Millions of unpaid volunteer cam-
paigners out there are feeling a great
void in thei lives. But nature abhors
a vacuum, and so everyone is rush-
ing out like mad, trying to find
something that will take the place
of all that frenzied activity.
Newsweek, that cultural barometer
of America, is leading the way with
this week's cover article, "The Disco
Whirl." Leave it to Newsweek to tap
the pulse of a beating country's
heart.
We feel that the time for serious-
ness is, temporarily, past, and in the
tradition, we are giving you today's
Mkl- al 1w l
Ralph's Universe
By Tom Stevens
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FAMrA4&y 4OUG-OT:
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Rob Meachum
Fdiorial S/aff
Co-Editors-in-Chief
Bill Turque
Editorial page, which consists of
neither more, nor less than non-
sense.
THE ONE PUZZLING thing, how-
ever, is that Newsweek put out its
nonsense issue the day before the
election. Could this be a signal? Are
campaigns beginning to end sooner?
Can we-dare we - hope that
the hoopla will cease earlier in the
future? Since campaigns now begin
two years ahead of the election, and
everyone is dead tired of them by
November, perhaps we can shorten
them again by ending them the Feb-
ruary of each election year. It's not
too much to hope for.
Well, that's really off the subject,
which is that light mood we're going
to let ourselves drift off 'into. For
you diehard partypoops who love poli-
tics and that sort of thing, there's
always next April and the municipal
Ann Arbor elections to look forward
to.
In any case, on with the show.
Ladies and gents, Tue Daily's Editor-
ial Page
TODAY'S STAFF:
News: City Desk: Bill Turque, Ann
Marie Lioinski, Rob Meachum, Jeff
Ristine, Margaret Yao, Susan Ades,
Tim Schick, Mike Norton, Ken Par-
sigian, Jay Levin, Karen Krebs, Lani
Jordan. Lois Josimovich, Stu Mc-
Connell, Laurie Young, Jenny Mil-
ler, Barb Zahs. County. Building:
Bob Rosenbaum. City Democratic
Headauarters: George Lobsenz. City
Republican Headquarters: Elaine
Fletcher. Detroit Riegle Headquar-
ters: Phillip Bokovoy. Dearborn
Esch Headquarters: Jim Tobin.
Plains, Georgia Bureau: Rob Meach-
u m.
Ed torial Page: Michael Beckman,
Steve Kursman, Rob Meathum, Jeff
Selbst
Arts Page: Lois JosimovicA
Photographers: Detroit Riegle Head-
quarters: Pauline Lubens. Dearborn
Esch Headquarters: Scott Eccker,
City Democratic Headquarters:
Chris Schneider. City Republican
Headquarters: Bran Benjamin.
9' k
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Restroom
By STU McCONNELL YOU" in the eleva
J READ recently that New legiate type wri
York City's program of ME" and leaves
supplying youths with "graffiti phone numbers.
walls" - specific areas for Although this
street poets and artists to ex- spends about $5,800
press themselves without de- keep its walls, ba
facing public edifices - has stairwells clean, gra
been relatively unsuccessful. its showpieces onc
The aerosol kings, it seems Graduate Library,
wouldn't be contained on a wall and Astronomy B
or two. Well, what did they ex- most dorms -
pect? Graffiti is more than just East Quad andA
"art" (or whatever vague so- It is a rare stude
cial value the Gotham City never read the gr
fathers rationalized their pro- walls on the wayt
gram under)--it is also politics, University graffit
protest and a driving search forms. The most co
for identity exemplified by such is personal invect
scrawls as "I WAS HERE." two anonymous con
Kids who spray-paint their coming less. deft a
names on cement underpasses scene as the adve
in the cities have a basic need ceed down the wa
for identity. College students for the floorboards. 1
the most part have their iden- favorite is a sc
tities straightened out - iden- adorns one of- the
tity lies with parents, the school floor stairwells. It
and he career afterward. , mate in insult,f
Consequently co11egians enemy's self o
busy themselves, with more "GOYNKE," is s
complex hangups which are -- GOYNKE."
at least to other college stu-
dents-more interesting. Where IF PERSONALi
anyone else writes "FUCK primary basis for
affiti Re naissance:
Jeff Rislna . ... .... Managing Editor
Tim Schick................... Executive Editor
Stephen Hersh ............... Magazine Editor
Rob Meachum..............Editorial Director
Lois Josimovich Arts Editor
STAFF WRITERS: Susan Ades, Susan Barry.
Dana Baumann, Michael Beckman, Philip Bo-
kovoy, Jodi Dimick,. Chris Dyhdale, Elaine
Fletcher, Larry Friske, Debra Gale, Tom Go-
dell, Eric Gressman, Kurt Harju, Char Heeg,
James Hynes, Michael Jones, Lani Jordan,
Lois Josimovich, Joanne Kaufman, David
Keeps, Steve Kursman, Jay Levin, Ann Marie
Lipinski, George Lobsenz, Pauline Lubens, Stu
CeConnell. Jennifer Miller, Michael Norton,
Jon Pansius, Ken Parsiglan, Karen Paul,
Stephen Pickover, Christopher . Potter, Lion
Rose, Lucy Saunders, Annemarie Schiavi, Kar-
en Schulkins, Jeffrey Selbst, Jim Shahin, Rick
Soble, Tom Stevens, Jim , Stimson,D avid
Strauss, Mike Taylor, Jim Tobin, Loran Walker,
La~urie Young, Barbara Zaps.
Photograpihy Staff
Pauline Luhetis Chief Photographer
Brad Benjamin .Staff Photographer
Alan Biinskv Staff Photographer
Scott seeker Staff Photographer
Andy Freeberg Staff Photographer
Christina Schneider ... Staff Photographer
Business Stag
Renoirs
ator, the col- TIMES SO HE COULD G
tes "FUCK DOWN PAT"), some is
spaces for cal apathy ("FORD IS
TER"), home is semantic
University SQUEAKY HADN'T BEE
0 annually to FREAKY, WE'D HAV
throoms and FULL NELSON, T
affiti still has A HALF").
campus; the But it is all protest. One
the Physics not find "Vote Democratic
uilding, and gans - nice people use th
most notably lot box, not the public
Alice Lloyd. room. Because graffiti is
ent who has lion its politics are either
affiti on the of the . radical left ("R
to class. KISSINGER AND ALL
".1
ET IT
politi-
CAR-
("IF
1N SO
E A
N O T
e does
c" slo-
he bal-
wash-
rebel-
those
ESIST
MUR-
i takes many
ommon basis
ive between
mbatants, be-
nd more ob-
ersaries pro-
all and onto
My personal
crawl which
P&A's first
is the ulti-
turning the
on himself.
says, "IS A
insult is the
graffiti, poli-
rank a close
it is simply
NIXON SAW
THREE
DERERS ) or the reactionary
right (KILL FAGGOTS").
I never cared much for po-
litical graffiti because it seems
forced. It is a deliberate at-
tempt to be socially relevant,
profound, or whatever graffiti is
supposed to be. I prefer scrawls
that come straight from the
heart, like "BOMB TOLEDO
NOW."
Political graffiti also tends
to infuse a serious tone into
what is essentially a light-
hearted enterprise. There is a
Star Trek cult which makes
rude jokes about Klingons.
There are physics and engineer-
ing students who write out what
must be hilarious equations and
scientific jokes. There are
freaks, who scribble "JESUS
ule ros
SAVES ROACHES" or "ANTI-
GRAVITY NOW!"
An example of how "serious"
graffiti is corrupted is a stair-
well in the Frieze Building. Or-
iginally graced with the grim
leftist slogan "RESIST FAS-
CISM," it now reads " RESIST
ANTIPASCISMILESIONIST-
SER".
A NOTHER crucial element
of graffiti is a revulsion
against technology and bureau-
cracy in its most accessible
form - usually a soda machine
labeled "ORANGE NO WOR-
KEE" or a "waste-free" hot
air dryer which bears the in-
scription "WHAT A B 0 U T
ENERGY?" Hand dryers are
favorite targets of graffiti ar-
tists because they are in bath-
rooms, traditional graffiti sanc-
tuaries. After the three steps
-push button; rub hands gently
under warm air; shuts off auto-
matically - one is likely to
find a fourth - "WIPE HANDS
OFF ON PANTS."
Anyone who can read the
writing on the wall can tell that
Letters should be typed
and limited to 400 words.
The Daily reserves the
right to edit letters for
length and grammar.
ideas like the "griffiti wall" are
intrinsic failures because they
attempt to turn an outlet of
whimsy and outrage into a pub-
lic works project. When I lived
in South Quad two years ago,
the rest room on my hall had
acquired only a smattering of
graffiti before it was scrubbed
clean. The first scrawl to deco-
rate the newly purified institu-
tional green wall was "FUCK
THE 'CLEANING LADY".
Beth Friedman
Deborah Drehiss.
Kathleen Muihern..
David Halan .......
Don Simpson......
PetePeterson.
Cas.ieSt. Clair .
Beth Stratford
i
Business Manager
Operations Manager
Assistant Adv. Coordinator
Finance Manager
Sales Manager
Advertising Coordinator
Circulation Manager
.Circulation Director
trum
:
a /,
l
."
l j
Stu McConnel is the
graffiti artist of The
rest rooms.
premier
Daily's
tics must certainly
second. Some of
political insult ("T
DEEP THROAT
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iJI
Something light after election
madness: A short trivia quiz
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