YA-BA-DA-BA-DOOOO That's the most ridiculous thing ever heat d By STEPHEN KURSMAN FRED FLINTSTONE came to Ann Arbor and he says that we're all crazy. Yes, just last week I met my old buddy Fred on I-94. He parked his dinosaur in the bush, climbed into my car and began chatting about the good old days as we drove onto the State Street exit ramp. Well, ve were talking about old times and Fred seemed oblivious to all the confusion at the Packard intersection. But as soon as we entered my apartment building he was blasted by m1any decibels of .Grand Funk. Fred was not the same after that. I tried explaining to him that stereo were boxes full of music and that they were for enjoyment, but he couldn't seem to understand why anyone would sit inside to listen to boxes full of music. As he was criticizing sound systems, the clock struck seven and my roommate flipped on the tube. He looked at Barbara Walters and listened to the news, but all Fred could see was my roommate staring at an image on the side of a box. Fred said that it was unnatural to watch a box full of images. Then he muttered something about Barbara Walters, but I can't remember what. FOR SOME REASON my alarm clock began to buzz. Before I could turn it off, the water kettle began to whistle and then the doorbell rang. Fred became exasperated. But when I turned on the garbage disposal he really blew his cool and left the apartment in a rage. I was sorry that my guest was having such a bad time but I just had to get to the graduate library, so I got my books and left. I found Fred on the Diag. He was lying on his back and staring wildly at the Graduate Library, I looked at the building myself and was inspired. It was an honor to be a Wolverine. "Fred," I said, "that building is filled with books. Books from all over the world - old books, new books, fat books, thin books." Fred looked at me blankly and it was only then I realized that he didn't know what books were. Nonetheless 'I resolved to show off the facility. But Fred kept asking me why all the crazy people were sitting in the tint white rooms. I decided that Fred wasn't academic. But maybe he'd enjoy a football game. g THE NEXT DAY I took him to the MSU game. Fred didn't understand why there was so much commotion about getting the football from one end of the field to the other. When I explained about football he asked why the fans couldn't help move the ball. He just didn't understand. He also had a hard time understanding the lewd and ob- scene gestures directed toward the referee. As I tried to ex- plain, he noticed Sparty Spartan standing by the MSU bench. I tried to explain the enthusiasm benerated by football, but I was getting nowhere. As we left the stadium, we passed by an apple cider stand. The person trying to sell the cider began to yell. "Yummy, yummy, yummy-yummy, yummy, yummy!" A few people turned around and bought the yummy drink. Fred said that Ann Arbor people were ridiculous, and I be- gan feeling a distinct embarrassment for my town. As I drove Fred back to I-94 he was silent. He climbed onto his dinosaur and moved into the right lane. "If this is education," he said, "I'd rather be ignorant!" 10& A MAJC F~T~ (91174 At3 1-0 HOW LuTo Sm (TP R ~ Lolt~)jo Eighty-Seven Years of Editorial Freedom 420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, MI 48109 L3 o a Wednesday, November 3, 1976 News Phone: 764-0552 Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan The Great Election is over and the Silly Season begins O TO EAT Fo(2eorr-EQ. HOLQ TO~ U2SE &/s46QC +G UNTYIL MW bWI FE A&)P L A&SW)E GvTjHMVF(kSTf uC OF 7e y. IM HALL RIGHT. 0)0 a a .r C' 1 0 °, THE GREAT ELECTION of '76, the Buy - Centennial election, the Election to Shake the Earth, is over. Millions of unpaid volunteer cam- paigners out there are feeling a great void in thei lives. But nature abhors a vacuum, and so everyone is rush- ing out like mad, trying to find something that will take the place of all that frenzied activity. Newsweek, that cultural barometer of America, is leading the way with this week's cover article, "The Disco Whirl." Leave it to Newsweek to tap the pulse of a beating country's heart. We feel that the time for serious- ness is, temporarily, past, and in the tradition, we are giving you today's Mkl- al 1w l Ralph's Universe By Tom Stevens 't' "Vi FAMrA4&y 4OUG-OT: WaUL ,BL"MU! TAy raCA N t'' AO > 8TqAS yOU J~fcE=A S' L '.< Rob Meachum Fdiorial S/aff Co-Editors-in-Chief Bill Turque Editorial page, which consists of neither more, nor less than non- sense. THE ONE PUZZLING thing, how- ever, is that Newsweek put out its nonsense issue the day before the election. Could this be a signal? Are campaigns beginning to end sooner? Can we-dare we - hope that the hoopla will cease earlier in the future? Since campaigns now begin two years ahead of the election, and everyone is dead tired of them by November, perhaps we can shorten them again by ending them the Feb- ruary of each election year. It's not too much to hope for. Well, that's really off the subject, which is that light mood we're going to let ourselves drift off 'into. For you diehard partypoops who love poli- tics and that sort of thing, there's always next April and the municipal Ann Arbor elections to look forward to. In any case, on with the show. Ladies and gents, Tue Daily's Editor- ial Page TODAY'S STAFF: News: City Desk: Bill Turque, Ann Marie Lioinski, Rob Meachum, Jeff Ristine, Margaret Yao, Susan Ades, Tim Schick, Mike Norton, Ken Par- sigian, Jay Levin, Karen Krebs, Lani Jordan. Lois Josimovich, Stu Mc- Connell, Laurie Young, Jenny Mil- ler, Barb Zahs. County. Building: Bob Rosenbaum. City Democratic Headauarters: George Lobsenz. City Republican Headquarters: Elaine Fletcher. Detroit Riegle Headquar- ters: Phillip Bokovoy. Dearborn Esch Headquarters: Jim Tobin. Plains, Georgia Bureau: Rob Meach- u m. Ed torial Page: Michael Beckman, Steve Kursman, Rob Meathum, Jeff Selbst Arts Page: Lois JosimovicA Photographers: Detroit Riegle Head- quarters: Pauline Lubens. Dearborn Esch Headquarters: Scott Eccker, City Democratic Headquarters: Chris Schneider. City Republican Headquarters: Bran Benjamin. 9' k wlk Restroom By STU McCONNELL YOU" in the eleva J READ recently that New legiate type wri York City's program of ME" and leaves supplying youths with "graffiti phone numbers. walls" - specific areas for Although this street poets and artists to ex- spends about $5,800 press themselves without de- keep its walls, ba facing public edifices - has stairwells clean, gra been relatively unsuccessful. its showpieces onc The aerosol kings, it seems Graduate Library, wouldn't be contained on a wall and Astronomy B or two. Well, what did they ex- most dorms - pect? Graffiti is more than just East Quad andA "art" (or whatever vague so- It is a rare stude cial value the Gotham City never read the gr fathers rationalized their pro- walls on the wayt gram under)--it is also politics, University graffit protest and a driving search forms. The most co for identity exemplified by such is personal invect scrawls as "I WAS HERE." two anonymous con Kids who spray-paint their coming less. deft a names on cement underpasses scene as the adve in the cities have a basic need ceed down the wa for identity. College students for the floorboards. 1 the most part have their iden- favorite is a sc tities straightened out - iden- adorns one of- the tity lies with parents, the school floor stairwells. It and he career afterward. , mate in insult,f Consequently co11egians enemy's self o busy themselves, with more "GOYNKE," is s complex hangups which are -- GOYNKE." at least to other college stu- dents-more interesting. Where IF PERSONALi anyone else writes "FUCK primary basis for affiti Re naissance: Jeff Rislna . ... .... Managing Editor Tim Schick................... Executive Editor Stephen Hersh ............... Magazine Editor Rob Meachum..............Editorial Director Lois Josimovich Arts Editor STAFF WRITERS: Susan Ades, Susan Barry. Dana Baumann, Michael Beckman, Philip Bo- kovoy, Jodi Dimick,. Chris Dyhdale, Elaine Fletcher, Larry Friske, Debra Gale, Tom Go- dell, Eric Gressman, Kurt Harju, Char Heeg, James Hynes, Michael Jones, Lani Jordan, Lois Josimovich, Joanne Kaufman, David Keeps, Steve Kursman, Jay Levin, Ann Marie Lipinski, George Lobsenz, Pauline Lubens, Stu CeConnell. Jennifer Miller, Michael Norton, Jon Pansius, Ken Parsiglan, Karen Paul, Stephen Pickover, Christopher . Potter, Lion Rose, Lucy Saunders, Annemarie Schiavi, Kar- en Schulkins, Jeffrey Selbst, Jim Shahin, Rick Soble, Tom Stevens, Jim , Stimson,D avid Strauss, Mike Taylor, Jim Tobin, Loran Walker, La~urie Young, Barbara Zaps. Photograpihy Staff Pauline Luhetis Chief Photographer Brad Benjamin .Staff Photographer Alan Biinskv Staff Photographer Scott seeker Staff Photographer Andy Freeberg Staff Photographer Christina Schneider ... Staff Photographer Business Stag Renoirs ator, the col- TIMES SO HE COULD G tes "FUCK DOWN PAT"), some is spaces for cal apathy ("FORD IS TER"), home is semantic University SQUEAKY HADN'T BEE 0 annually to FREAKY, WE'D HAV throoms and FULL NELSON, T affiti still has A HALF"). campus; the But it is all protest. One the Physics not find "Vote Democratic uilding, and gans - nice people use th most notably lot box, not the public Alice Lloyd. room. Because graffiti is ent who has lion its politics are either affiti on the of the . radical left ("R to class. KISSINGER AND ALL ".1 ET IT politi- CAR- ("IF 1N SO E A N O T e does c" slo- he bal- wash- rebel- those ESIST MUR- i takes many ommon basis ive between mbatants, be- nd more ob- ersaries pro- all and onto My personal crawl which P&A's first is the ulti- turning the on himself. says, "IS A insult is the graffiti, poli- rank a close it is simply NIXON SAW THREE DERERS ) or the reactionary right (KILL FAGGOTS"). I never cared much for po- litical graffiti because it seems forced. It is a deliberate at- tempt to be socially relevant, profound, or whatever graffiti is supposed to be. I prefer scrawls that come straight from the heart, like "BOMB TOLEDO NOW." Political graffiti also tends to infuse a serious tone into what is essentially a light- hearted enterprise. There is a Star Trek cult which makes rude jokes about Klingons. There are physics and engineer- ing students who write out what must be hilarious equations and scientific jokes. There are freaks, who scribble "JESUS ule ros SAVES ROACHES" or "ANTI- GRAVITY NOW!" An example of how "serious" graffiti is corrupted is a stair- well in the Frieze Building. Or- iginally graced with the grim leftist slogan "RESIST FAS- CISM," it now reads " RESIST ANTIPASCISMILESIONIST- SER". A NOTHER crucial element of graffiti is a revulsion against technology and bureau- cracy in its most accessible form - usually a soda machine labeled "ORANGE NO WOR- KEE" or a "waste-free" hot air dryer which bears the in- scription "WHAT A B 0 U T ENERGY?" Hand dryers are favorite targets of graffiti ar- tists because they are in bath- rooms, traditional graffiti sanc- tuaries. After the three steps -push button; rub hands gently under warm air; shuts off auto- matically - one is likely to find a fourth - "WIPE HANDS OFF ON PANTS." Anyone who can read the writing on the wall can tell that Letters should be typed and limited to 400 words. The Daily reserves the right to edit letters for length and grammar. ideas like the "griffiti wall" are intrinsic failures because they attempt to turn an outlet of whimsy and outrage into a pub- lic works project. When I lived in South Quad two years ago, the rest room on my hall had acquired only a smattering of graffiti before it was scrubbed clean. The first scrawl to deco- rate the newly purified institu- tional green wall was "FUCK THE 'CLEANING LADY". Beth Friedman Deborah Drehiss. Kathleen Muihern.. David Halan ....... Don Simpson...... PetePeterson. Cas.ieSt. Clair . Beth Stratford i Business Manager Operations Manager Assistant Adv. Coordinator Finance Manager Sales Manager Advertising Coordinator Circulation Manager .Circulation Director trum : a /, l ." l j Stu McConnel is the graffiti artist of The rest rooms. premier Daily's tics must certainly second. Some of political insult ("T DEEP THROAT iI7 -<) /- iJI Something light after election madness: A short trivia quiz K- . « ,. t-. .-. , .