TM6rsday, January 11, 1973
Ti HE MICHIGAN DAILY
Page Three
Thursday, January 11, 1973 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Three
Schmuck unleashes perverse
masterwork with 'Up Ours'
By MIKE HARPER
Once, when I was five years
old, I attended kindergarten at
Washington Elementary School in
Cincinnati, Ohio. What that fact
has to do with anything probably
seems uncertain, but one of my
fellow classmates was a guy
named Gordon Michaels. Mi-
chaels, who knew all the dirty
facts about "where babies real-
ly come from" at the tender age
of four and one-half, was one of
my first encounters with "weir-
does." "Gordo" (Michaels' fav-
orite nickname - most of his
are quite uncomplimentary) was
unique, but our friendship was
not meant to be - I moved to
Dearborn, and he moved to Co-
lumbus; then I moved to Flint
and the Grand Blanc while he
moved to Cleveland (where he
shall probably remain for all
eternity).
Anyway, to end all of this sen-
timentality, I ran into Michaels
at a Detroit Rock'n'Roll Revival
two years ago . . . and we've
been corresponding regularly
ever since. And so for Christ-
mas this year, he sent me his
first record album, recorded on
his own, self-financed label, a
delightfully perverted collection
of instant classics called Up Ours
(Boredom FGP-1001). And since
I owe the dear boy a favor, here's
a review ...
First of all, the album cover is
a true work of art. The front of
the album sleeve shows a K. T.
Sherbert drawing of the boys -
Michaels and his four friends
k n o w n collectively as
"schiuck" (yes, that's right,
with a small 's') - with their
heads up their rear ends and
thus the title, Up Ours. And on
the back . . . the group and their
three - member part-boy/part-
girl/part-thing choir, Tackies,
engaging in a Tommy James
hanky-panky while dressed as
various kinds of vegetables. I
didn't believe it either.
Starting off side one is "Suck
My Ass," probably the most de-
viant rocker since the days of the
early Stones. In fact, the song is
dedicated to the "late" Mick
Jagger (gee, I wonder what that
means ...), and it includes some
of those very same banal gui-
tar riffs as played by the Stones
on Sticky Fingers, especially
"Bitch." Michaels reaches new
heights of boredom on lead gui-
tar as lead vocalist/saxophonist/
on-again off-again organist Elvin
Rosenblatz sings his heart out
for you, baby. The purposely-
sophmoric lyrics are mumbled
in Jagger's self-styled incoherent
stutter, this lending the final
touch of biting satire to a Mi-
chaels / Rosenblatz masterpiece.
A song dedicated to Iggy Pop
(nee 'Stooge,' of course) follows,
something called "Barf Salad."
Yes, "Barf Salad." Three min-
utes and 14 seconds of pure, atyp-
ica Stooges music, "Barf" runs
the gamut of bad taste, obscene
sound "gestures" and the like.
Pianist Sherbert tinkles, bassist
Donnie Wasted roars his gut-
level approval and "Barf Sal-
ad" ends, and on the same note
of sheer gross lunacy. As the
liner notes decree, HEAVY.
A few songs take on a more
directly sexual connotation, es-
pecially "Deep Throat" and
Cat's Got My Tongue." "Throat"
is Michaels' p r o p o s e d
"title song" for the big-box of-
fice movie of the same name,
fantacizing along the same plot
as the movie but with more of a
show of little boy glee. "Tongue"
is crude sounding, but the lyrics
approach the joyful ridiculous-
ness of Russ Meyer's "Beyond
the Valley of the Dolls." The
music on these two cuts is in a
sense naturally rhytmic and, as
well, a bit along the lines of a
B-grade stripper instrumental:
in any case, it's amazing.
Probably even more amazing
is a song called "Relief (Opus
No. 2, the bowl movement)."
"Relief" is a fantasy piece about
a certain necessary body func-
tion but approached from an en-
viously-crazy point of view. The
boys lend their inanely disgust-
ing track some stomach-turning
sound effects, changing the mu-
sic from a school fight song -
sounding cadence and then slow-
ing to a sincere take-off on "The
Blue Danube" waltz. Lead vo-
cal chores on this one lone tune
are handled by "that drumming
fool," Lil' Johnny Sodajerk.
Sodajerk's words come out in a
whine, playing on the listener's
heart as this poor little boy can't
seem to defeat that big bad guy,
Mr. Constipation. It's ridiculous
to the point of tears, especially
when the sufferer finds no suc-
cess with Carter's Little Pills or
Sunsweet's little prunes. Finally
though, as Sodajerk sings it,
"things worked their way out
(ugh).7
Another standout is schmuck's
great take-off on Emerson, Lake
Mike Harper whoever
and/or Palmer's "Tarkus" suite,
cleverly entitled "Armadildo."
At first, "Armadildo" Duke El-
lingtons along, but then an ut-
terly sick-sounding synthesizer
(played by Michaels) butts in,
played with all the over-every-
thing'ed gusto of Keith Emerson.
The music grows very childish,
purposely lending itself to a
ELP trait, that is the incessant
need to keep "busy." Sherbert
comes in with a piano solo play-
ed on a totally out-of-tune key-
board, then he switches to acous-
tic guitar and, along with Mi-
chaels and Wasted, plays a ELP
pseudo - spook - heavy version
of Crosby, Stills, Nash and
(sometimes) Young. The lyrics
are Greg Lake trite, Rosenblatz
intoning them like they were the
Ten Commandments. The overall
effect is directly affecting-pro-
bably infecting as well . . .
"Zits" (dealing with Michaels'
puberty or lack thereof . . .) and
schmuck's rave version of the
Dovells' classic, "The Bristal
Stomp," are worth mentioning-
and so I have . .. But two pieces
are of far greater importance,
namely, "Closet Queen" and
"The Horse Trilogy." First off,
even if a bit on the (seemingly)
insincere side, "Queen" is a Ray
Davies-type of approach to-
wards the subject of homosexu-
ality, performed in a Kinkishly
light-hearted manner. The song
concerns itself with "those fun-
ny boys" who "mommy in the
closet while the big boys 'dad-
dy' in the den."
In the Davies' style:
Now you're on the stage
The latest rage
Gettin' down to the
Sequined G
It's silk and lace
And your baby face
Oh me Oh my
Closet Queen
the lyrics are tongue in cheek
but certainly not just "surface."
Michaels is indeed sincere at
soig's end, as he says in an al-
most plea, "Oh boys, the closet's
been sweet but it's time to make
it; yeah, it's time to take it onto
the street."
"The Horse Trilogy" can safe-
ly be considered representative
of schmuck's - and Michaels'-
general attitudes towards "life
and/or the pursuit of happiness."
Based and, in a sense, dedicated
to Michaels' experiences (and
fantasies) concerning a girl-
with-a-horse porno flick, the
nine-minute piece begins with
crude sounds, which blend with
the boys' chanting of a weirdly-
rearranged Mother Goose tale-
recited to the point of boredom.
The music begins, amphetamine
guitar riffs and pulsating bass
lines everywhere, as the piano
and saxophone make incredibly
crazed noises with zealous aban-
don. All this Miles Davis muck
dies down, the Tackies (who also
do the background on "Zits" and
"Tongue") raise their voices in
Mitch Miller glee, Rosenblatz'
voice proceeds to the forefront
with the phrase, "Horse Puke."
This is the end of the first move-
ment of the same title; then, it
is into "Horsin' Around" (the
liner notes confide. THIS IS
OUR GODAWFUL LOW-KEY
COMEDY BOOGIE) which con-
sists of four minutes of the most
ho-hum jamming this side of
curdled Heavy Cream.,
And finally, "RCHF (the Grand
Finale)" which stands for Royal
Canadian Horse something-or-
other. It consists of more musi-
cal atrocities and obscenity
which, in turn, means more pur-
poseful boredom and such. In
the end what the listener has is
an insincerely sincere - or is it
sincerely insincere - effort to
destroy the entire hierarchy of
the music business performer-
wise in one fell swoop, or more
exactly, 43 minutes and 26 sec-
onds. No matter, through all of
its definitively biting glory, this
album proclaims in a not-so-
subtle "hint" that just maybe
it's the public that is getting it
shoved UP OURS from all the
"hot rocks" we "duly" receive
. . . And that, my friends, is.
HEAVY. Well, Gordo, I guess
this makes us even.
A
R
SI
JAMES DEAN, RAYMOND MASSEY, JO VAN FLEET IN
Directed by Elia Kazan. Based on John Steinbeck's novel
A modern Cain and Noel Story set during World War I
-TONIGHT!-January 11th-ONLY!-7 & 9 P.M.-
COMING TUESDAY, January 16th-FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE-James Bond
NEXT WEDNESDAY-January 17th-200 MOTELS-Frank Zappa
NEXT THURSDAY-January 18th-THE FRENCH CONNECTION
TUESDAY, January 23rd-DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER-James Bond
WEDNESDAY, January 24th-Antonioni's BLOW-UP
THURSDAY, January 25th-THE PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES
ALL SHOWINGS IN AUDITORIUM "A," ANGELL HALL--$1.00
tickets on sale for all of each evening's performances outside the auditorium at 6 p.m.
--I
to,
0
toni ght
6:00 2 4 7 News
9 Courtship of Eddie's Father
50 Fintstones
56 Sewing Skills
Most of our patrons agree with
Free Press critic Susan Stark who
Paled HAROLD ANDcMAUDE
CAM POS"the most easy-to-take comedy of
the year" and who picked it as'
one of the year's
10 best films.
They met at the funeral of a perfect stranger.
From then on, things got perfectly stranger and stranger.
Paramount Pictures Presents
HAROLD and MAUDE
Color by Technicolor A Paramount Picture
GP ---EXTRA'
"THE DOVE"
A satire on Ingmar Bergman films~
6:30 2 4 7 News
9 I Dream of Jeannie
50 Gilligan's Island
56 Secretarial Techniques and
Office Procedures
7:00 2 Truth or Consequences
4 News
7 To Tell the Truth
9 Beverly Hillbillies
50 I Love Lucy
56 Course of Our Times
7:30 2 What's My Line?
4 Circus'.
7 Half the George Kirby
Comedy Hour
9 Movie
"Tarzan and the Huntress"
(1947)
50 Hogan's Heroes
56 Behind the Lines
8:00 2 The waltons
4 Flip Wilson
7 Jacques Cousteau
56 Advocates
50 Dragnet
8:30 50 Merv Griffin
9:00 2 Movie
"The Gypsy Moths" (1969)
4 Ironside
7 China
9 News--Don West
56 An American Family
9:30 9 Happy Though Married
10:00 4 Dean Martin
9 Adieu Alouette
50 Perry Mason
56 Masterpiece Theatre
10:30 9 Countrytime
11:00 2 4 7 News
9 CBC News
11:20 9 News
11:30 2 Movie
"Killer by Night" (1972)
4 Johnny Carson
7 Jack Paar Tonite
50 Movie
"Pursuit to Algiers" (1945)
12:00 9 Movie
"Gunfight in Abilene" (1967)
1:00 4 7 News
1:30 2 Movie-Comedy
"Blondie's Hero" (1949)
3:00 2 News
Ferrando and Guglielmo, the two suitors in Mozart's charming
operatic comedy "Cosi Fan Tutte," presented by The Canadian
Opera Company under the auspices of the University Musical
Society Friday night at 8 and Saturday at 3 and 8 in Hill Aud.
Nominate your favorites ...
Pick the most memorable records of 1972. Send nomina-
tions to the Arts Editor c/o The Michigan Daily, no later
than Friday, January 19. Cast your vote now for the best:
Album of the year.............................
Rock album of the year.........................
Rock/folk-rock album of the year................
Orchestral rock album of the year................
Country/country-rock album of the year.........
R & B album of the year.. ......................
Debut album of the year........................
Single of the year .............................
Worst album of the year........................
UPCOMING CONCERT TIPS-The Divine Miss M, Bette Mid-,
ler, comes to Detroit Sunday Jan. 21 at Masonic Aud. at
7:30. Tickets, $5.50, 4.50, 3.50, available at Masonic Aud.
Box Office and at all J. L. Hudson ticket outlets. UAC-
Daystar presents Jr. Walker and The Allstars, Luther
Allison, Bobby "Blue" Bland and The Mojo Band Satur-
day, January 20 at 7 p.m. in Dill Auditorium.
DRAMA-the Theatre Company of Ann Arbor, Inc. presents
an original adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel Draula
tonight at 8, Mendelssohn.
ART EXHIBITS-Lantern gallery features "From N.Y. via AA
With Love!" which focuses on works by selected New
York artists; University Museum of Art features draw-
ings and photographs of European architectural monu-
ments by Albert Kahn; AA Public Library shows a pic-
torial exhibition which depicts the countryside and life
of the people of Bangladesh; AA Women Painters spe-
cial awards group show displayed at North Campus
Commons.
FILM-The Ann Arbor Film Coop presents Kazan's East of
Eden at Aud. A Angell Hall at 7, 9 tonight. Cinema
Guild presents DeSica's The Bicycle Thief in Arch. Aud.
at 7, 10 tonight. About this film, Daily reviewer Christo-
pher Phillips comments:
The Bicycle Thief is one of the few Neo-realist
films that consistently appears on the all-time best twen-
ty lists of films. Vittorio DeSica's uses non actors and
location settings to capture the mood and feeling of
post-war Italy. But the film is even more universal in
the simple, compelling way in which it deals with the
problems and eventual understanding reached between
a father and a son.
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ANN ARBOR MUSIC MART will soon
be starting Class Lessons in Guitar,
Flute, Banjo, & Drums.
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AT SUPER PRIGES
UAC-DAYSTAR PRESENTS
Jr. Walker & The Alistars!
Luther Allison-Bobby "Blue" Band
MOJO BOOGIE BAND
"Luther Allison's
impeccable,
unbelievably fast
guitar work made
almost every other
guitarist pale by
comparison--and
at this festival,
that's saying
something."
:x> 'John Weisman
DETROIT FREE PRESS
............: ......review of 1972 Blues
and Jazz Festival
>J"Luther's playing
is a blend of
Jimi Hendrix and
B.B. King...the
effect is dazzling."
THE MONTREAL STAR
Photo Credit DOUG FULTON
SATURDAY, JANUARY 20, 7 p.m.-Hill Aud.
Reserved seats 4.50, 3.50, 2.50 now on sale
MICHIGAN UNION: 11-5:30 MONDAY-SAT,
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