TM6rsday, January 11, 1973 Ti HE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Three Thursday, January 11, 1973 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Three Schmuck unleashes perverse masterwork with 'Up Ours' By MIKE HARPER Once, when I was five years old, I attended kindergarten at Washington Elementary School in Cincinnati, Ohio. What that fact has to do with anything probably seems uncertain, but one of my fellow classmates was a guy named Gordon Michaels. Mi- chaels, who knew all the dirty facts about "where babies real- ly come from" at the tender age of four and one-half, was one of my first encounters with "weir- does." "Gordo" (Michaels' fav- orite nickname - most of his are quite uncomplimentary) was unique, but our friendship was not meant to be - I moved to Dearborn, and he moved to Co- lumbus; then I moved to Flint and the Grand Blanc while he moved to Cleveland (where he shall probably remain for all eternity). Anyway, to end all of this sen- timentality, I ran into Michaels at a Detroit Rock'n'Roll Revival two years ago . . . and we've been corresponding regularly ever since. And so for Christ- mas this year, he sent me his first record album, recorded on his own, self-financed label, a delightfully perverted collection of instant classics called Up Ours (Boredom FGP-1001). And since I owe the dear boy a favor, here's a review ... First of all, the album cover is a true work of art. The front of the album sleeve shows a K. T. Sherbert drawing of the boys - Michaels and his four friends k n o w n collectively as "schiuck" (yes, that's right, with a small 's') - with their heads up their rear ends and thus the title, Up Ours. And on the back . . . the group and their three - member part-boy/part- girl/part-thing choir, Tackies, engaging in a Tommy James hanky-panky while dressed as various kinds of vegetables. I didn't believe it either. Starting off side one is "Suck My Ass," probably the most de- viant rocker since the days of the early Stones. In fact, the song is dedicated to the "late" Mick Jagger (gee, I wonder what that means ...), and it includes some of those very same banal gui- tar riffs as played by the Stones on Sticky Fingers, especially "Bitch." Michaels reaches new heights of boredom on lead gui- tar as lead vocalist/saxophonist/ on-again off-again organist Elvin Rosenblatz sings his heart out for you, baby. The purposely- sophmoric lyrics are mumbled in Jagger's self-styled incoherent stutter, this lending the final touch of biting satire to a Mi- chaels / Rosenblatz masterpiece. A song dedicated to Iggy Pop (nee 'Stooge,' of course) follows, something called "Barf Salad." Yes, "Barf Salad." Three min- utes and 14 seconds of pure, atyp- ica Stooges music, "Barf" runs the gamut of bad taste, obscene sound "gestures" and the like. Pianist Sherbert tinkles, bassist Donnie Wasted roars his gut- level approval and "Barf Sal- ad" ends, and on the same note of sheer gross lunacy. As the liner notes decree, HEAVY. A few songs take on a more directly sexual connotation, es- pecially "Deep Throat" and Cat's Got My Tongue." "Throat" is Michaels' p r o p o s e d "title song" for the big-box of- fice movie of the same name, fantacizing along the same plot as the movie but with more of a show of little boy glee. "Tongue" is crude sounding, but the lyrics approach the joyful ridiculous- ness of Russ Meyer's "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls." The music on these two cuts is in a sense naturally rhytmic and, as well, a bit along the lines of a B-grade stripper instrumental: in any case, it's amazing. Probably even more amazing is a song called "Relief (Opus No. 2, the bowl movement)." "Relief" is a fantasy piece about a certain necessary body func- tion but approached from an en- viously-crazy point of view. The boys lend their inanely disgust- ing track some stomach-turning sound effects, changing the mu- sic from a school fight song - sounding cadence and then slow- ing to a sincere take-off on "The Blue Danube" waltz. Lead vo- cal chores on this one lone tune are handled by "that drumming fool," Lil' Johnny Sodajerk. Sodajerk's words come out in a whine, playing on the listener's heart as this poor little boy can't seem to defeat that big bad guy, Mr. Constipation. It's ridiculous to the point of tears, especially when the sufferer finds no suc- cess with Carter's Little Pills or Sunsweet's little prunes. Finally though, as Sodajerk sings it, "things worked their way out (ugh).7 Another standout is schmuck's great take-off on Emerson, Lake Mike Harper whoever and/or Palmer's "Tarkus" suite, cleverly entitled "Armadildo." At first, "Armadildo" Duke El- lingtons along, but then an ut- terly sick-sounding synthesizer (played by Michaels) butts in, played with all the over-every- thing'ed gusto of Keith Emerson. The music grows very childish, purposely lending itself to a ELP trait, that is the incessant need to keep "busy." Sherbert comes in with a piano solo play- ed on a totally out-of-tune key- board, then he switches to acous- tic guitar and, along with Mi- chaels and Wasted, plays a ELP pseudo - spook - heavy version of Crosby, Stills, Nash and (sometimes) Young. The lyrics are Greg Lake trite, Rosenblatz intoning them like they were the Ten Commandments. The overall effect is directly affecting-pro- bably infecting as well . . . "Zits" (dealing with Michaels' puberty or lack thereof . . .) and schmuck's rave version of the Dovells' classic, "The Bristal Stomp," are worth mentioning- and so I have . .. But two pieces are of far greater importance, namely, "Closet Queen" and "The Horse Trilogy." First off, even if a bit on the (seemingly) insincere side, "Queen" is a Ray Davies-type of approach to- wards the subject of homosexu- ality, performed in a Kinkishly light-hearted manner. The song concerns itself with "those fun- ny boys" who "mommy in the closet while the big boys 'dad- dy' in the den." In the Davies' style: Now you're on the stage The latest rage Gettin' down to the Sequined G It's silk and lace And your baby face Oh me Oh my Closet Queen the lyrics are tongue in cheek but certainly not just "surface." Michaels is indeed sincere at soig's end, as he says in an al- most plea, "Oh boys, the closet's been sweet but it's time to make it; yeah, it's time to take it onto the street." "The Horse Trilogy" can safe- ly be considered representative of schmuck's - and Michaels'- general attitudes towards "life and/or the pursuit of happiness." Based and, in a sense, dedicated to Michaels' experiences (and fantasies) concerning a girl- with-a-horse porno flick, the nine-minute piece begins with crude sounds, which blend with the boys' chanting of a weirdly- rearranged Mother Goose tale- recited to the point of boredom. The music begins, amphetamine guitar riffs and pulsating bass lines everywhere, as the piano and saxophone make incredibly crazed noises with zealous aban- don. All this Miles Davis muck dies down, the Tackies (who also do the background on "Zits" and "Tongue") raise their voices in Mitch Miller glee, Rosenblatz' voice proceeds to the forefront with the phrase, "Horse Puke." This is the end of the first move- ment of the same title; then, it is into "Horsin' Around" (the liner notes confide. THIS IS OUR GODAWFUL LOW-KEY COMEDY BOOGIE) which con- sists of four minutes of the most ho-hum jamming this side of curdled Heavy Cream., And finally, "RCHF (the Grand Finale)" which stands for Royal Canadian Horse something-or- other. It consists of more musi- cal atrocities and obscenity which, in turn, means more pur- poseful boredom and such. In the end what the listener has is an insincerely sincere - or is it sincerely insincere - effort to destroy the entire hierarchy of the music business performer- wise in one fell swoop, or more exactly, 43 minutes and 26 sec- onds. No matter, through all of its definitively biting glory, this album proclaims in a not-so- subtle "hint" that just maybe it's the public that is getting it shoved UP OURS from all the "hot rocks" we "duly" receive . . . And that, my friends, is. HEAVY. Well, Gordo, I guess this makes us even. A R SI JAMES DEAN, RAYMOND MASSEY, JO VAN FLEET IN Directed by Elia Kazan. Based on John Steinbeck's novel A modern Cain and Noel Story set during World War I -TONIGHT!-January 11th-ONLY!-7 & 9 P.M.- COMING TUESDAY, January 16th-FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE-James Bond NEXT WEDNESDAY-January 17th-200 MOTELS-Frank Zappa NEXT THURSDAY-January 18th-THE FRENCH CONNECTION TUESDAY, January 23rd-DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER-James Bond WEDNESDAY, January 24th-Antonioni's BLOW-UP THURSDAY, January 25th-THE PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOLMES ALL SHOWINGS IN AUDITORIUM "A," ANGELL HALL--$1.00 tickets on sale for all of each evening's performances outside the auditorium at 6 p.m. --I to, 0 toni ght 6:00 2 4 7 News 9 Courtship of Eddie's Father 50 Fintstones 56 Sewing Skills Most of our patrons agree with Free Press critic Susan Stark who Paled HAROLD ANDcMAUDE CAM POS"the most easy-to-take comedy of the year" and who picked it as' one of the year's 10 best films. They met at the funeral of a perfect stranger. From then on, things got perfectly stranger and stranger. Paramount Pictures Presents HAROLD and MAUDE Color by Technicolor A Paramount Picture GP ---EXTRA' "THE DOVE" A satire on Ingmar Bergman films~ 6:30 2 4 7 News 9 I Dream of Jeannie 50 Gilligan's Island 56 Secretarial Techniques and Office Procedures 7:00 2 Truth or Consequences 4 News 7 To Tell the Truth 9 Beverly Hillbillies 50 I Love Lucy 56 Course of Our Times 7:30 2 What's My Line? 4 Circus'. 7 Half the George Kirby Comedy Hour 9 Movie "Tarzan and the Huntress" (1947) 50 Hogan's Heroes 56 Behind the Lines 8:00 2 The waltons 4 Flip Wilson 7 Jacques Cousteau 56 Advocates 50 Dragnet 8:30 50 Merv Griffin 9:00 2 Movie "The Gypsy Moths" (1969) 4 Ironside 7 China 9 News--Don West 56 An American Family 9:30 9 Happy Though Married 10:00 4 Dean Martin 9 Adieu Alouette 50 Perry Mason 56 Masterpiece Theatre 10:30 9 Countrytime 11:00 2 4 7 News 9 CBC News 11:20 9 News 11:30 2 Movie "Killer by Night" (1972) 4 Johnny Carson 7 Jack Paar Tonite 50 Movie "Pursuit to Algiers" (1945) 12:00 9 Movie "Gunfight in Abilene" (1967) 1:00 4 7 News 1:30 2 Movie-Comedy "Blondie's Hero" (1949) 3:00 2 News Ferrando and Guglielmo, the two suitors in Mozart's charming operatic comedy "Cosi Fan Tutte," presented by The Canadian Opera Company under the auspices of the University Musical Society Friday night at 8 and Saturday at 3 and 8 in Hill Aud. Nominate your favorites ... Pick the most memorable records of 1972. Send nomina- tions to the Arts Editor c/o The Michigan Daily, no later than Friday, January 19. Cast your vote now for the best: Album of the year............................. Rock album of the year......................... Rock/folk-rock album of the year................ Orchestral rock album of the year................ Country/country-rock album of the year......... R & B album of the year.. ...................... Debut album of the year........................ Single of the year ............................. Worst album of the year........................ UPCOMING CONCERT TIPS-The Divine Miss M, Bette Mid-, ler, comes to Detroit Sunday Jan. 21 at Masonic Aud. at 7:30. Tickets, $5.50, 4.50, 3.50, available at Masonic Aud. Box Office and at all J. L. Hudson ticket outlets. UAC- Daystar presents Jr. Walker and The Allstars, Luther Allison, Bobby "Blue" Bland and The Mojo Band Satur- day, January 20 at 7 p.m. in Dill Auditorium. DRAMA-the Theatre Company of Ann Arbor, Inc. presents an original adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel Draula tonight at 8, Mendelssohn. ART EXHIBITS-Lantern gallery features "From N.Y. via AA With Love!" which focuses on works by selected New York artists; University Museum of Art features draw- ings and photographs of European architectural monu- ments by Albert Kahn; AA Public Library shows a pic- torial exhibition which depicts the countryside and life of the people of Bangladesh; AA Women Painters spe- cial awards group show displayed at North Campus Commons. FILM-The Ann Arbor Film Coop presents Kazan's East of Eden at Aud. A Angell Hall at 7, 9 tonight. Cinema Guild presents DeSica's The Bicycle Thief in Arch. Aud. at 7, 10 tonight. About this film, Daily reviewer Christo- pher Phillips comments: The Bicycle Thief is one of the few Neo-realist films that consistently appears on the all-time best twen- ty lists of films. Vittorio DeSica's uses non actors and location settings to capture the mood and feeling of post-war Italy. But the film is even more universal in the simple, compelling way in which it deals with the problems and eventual understanding reached between a father and a son. JOIN Gilbert & Sullivan Oi Come to a p MASS MEETING oca fornPoets Princes IdaThe Michigan C5 Daily Arts Page is now SUNDAY, JAN. 14aptio VVV Submit work 8:00 P.M. to Arts Editor 0c/o The Daiy MICHIGAN UNION SIGN UP NOW! MUSIC LESSONS ANN ARBOR MUSIC MART will soon be starting Class Lessons in Guitar, Flute, Banjo, & Drums. I $12.00 for 6 week's lessons I UPER S PORiT'm AT SUPER PRIGES UAC-DAYSTAR PRESENTS Jr. Walker & The Alistars! Luther Allison-Bobby "Blue" Band MOJO BOOGIE BAND "Luther Allison's impeccable, unbelievably fast guitar work made almost every other guitarist pale by comparison--and at this festival, that's saying something." :x> 'John Weisman DETROIT FREE PRESS ............: ......review of 1972 Blues and Jazz Festival >J"Luther's playing is a blend of Jimi Hendrix and B.B. King...the effect is dazzling." THE MONTREAL STAR Photo Credit DOUG FULTON SATURDAY, JANUARY 20, 7 p.m.-Hill Aud. Reserved seats 4.50, 3.50, 2.50 now on sale MICHIGAN UNION: 11-5:30 MONDAY-SAT, SS . BASS 01 TWO PAIR $15 9 S.R.O. " SBICCA You'll be amazed at the quality in these leather upper shoes, beautifully lined, stout soles, chunky heels, fine workmanship that will wear; You'll love the fit and amazing durability too. HUNDREDS SOLD FOR $20 AND MORE!