Page Eight
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Friday. Aaril 9. 1971
Page Eight THE MICHIGAN DAILY
FIdoAAvANiOifWA 1711
THIS EASTER
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Goody
AUGUSTA, Ga. (P) - Charles
Coody, a rangy veteran of nine
years on the pro golf tour, cut
out a remarkable, six-under-par
66 and took the first round lead
in the 35th Masters championship
yesterday.
The 33-year-old Texan, who
blew a chance to win this tourna-
ment in 1969, held a three stroke
lead over a group of three players
with only a handful of competi-
tors still out on the famed Au-
gusta National Golf Club course.
No one appeared to h a v e a.
chance to catch him.
Tied for second at 69 were for-
mer PGA champion Ray Floyd,
Bob Murphy and Hale Irwin. I
Arnold Palmer, the 41-year-old
millionaire who has won this
tournament four times, strug-
gled in with a 73. Defending
champion Billy Casper matched
par 72 on the 6,980 yard layout.
Jack Nicklaus, the reigning PGA
champion and the man favoredl
burns
to win this tournament, had a
mediocre 70. He missed two short
birdie putts on the final two holes.
"I'll never learn," he said,
shaking hisblond mane in dis-
gust. "I w a s moving my head.
I'll just never learn to keep still.
"It wasn't a good round. It
wasn't bad, but those two missed
putts kept it from being good.
"I'm four strokes b a c k, but
there's three rounds to go.
He was the only one of the real-
ly glamour names of thoe g a m e
able to b r e a k par during the
warm, sunny day t h a t lured a
massive gallery of some 20,000 to
the 6,980 yard, par 72 Augusta
National Golf Club course.
As usual, a 1 a r g e portion of
them followed Arnold Palmer, the
muscular millionaire who has won
this title a record four times. But
they had little to cheer about.
Palmer took a 73, including a
double bogey six on the 10th hole
where he missed the green and
I three-putted from five feet, miss- ( per had a 72 "and am very pleas-
ing from eight inches on his sec- ed," he said. "I feel fortunate to
ond putt.; have scored that well todnrav"
up
the
- ' . I
"I looked it over and took my
stance and really h i t it pretty
good," he said, "but it just jumped
off the putter. I just missed it.
"I played atrociously. It's, the
worst round I've had all year. I
can't think of anything I did well.
I drove poorly and I hit a lot of
bad irons. I made a couple of
putts, but I missed a couple of
short ones, too."
Defending champion Billy Cas-
Tony Jacklin of England, the
U.S. Open title-holder, matched
Palmer's 73.
Goody, a Texas Christian grad-
uate and former Air Force officer,
had a big chance for the 1969
Masters title.
He held the lead alone when
he walked off the 15th green on
the final round.
"I remember thinking I could
par in and win it," he recalled.
course
Golfers cart out to
tackle' Buckieye links
PUT REAL PROTECTION
i
BETWEEN YOUR EYES
By JIM EPSTEIN
Michigan's golf team, strong
third place finisher at the Miami
Invitational, moves into its sec-
ond tournament competition of
the year today at Columbus,
Ohio. The tournament, the Kep-
ler Invitational, brings together
six squads from the Big Ten, six
from the Ohio Valley Conference
and a few independents, including
tough Notre Dame.
Senior Rocky Pozza, who had
the best Wolverine score at Mi-
ami, will play as the number one
man for the linksmen this week.
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Coach Bill Newcomb says Pozza
did "everything we hoped he
could do" at Miami.
The second man for Michigan
will be senior captain John Roska,
followed by junior Dan Hunter,
sophomore Neil Spitalny, third-
year player Gary Ballet and a
new man in the Wolverine top six,
sophomore Chuck Burnham.
The Kepler will be held at the
Ohio State scarlet course, which
brings the Buckeyes more prom-
inently into contention for first
place honors. According to New-
comb, the home course advantage
should give O h i o State a few
strokes on the rest of the field.
But the teams to beat are two
other Big Ten teams, Purdue and
Indiana. Newcomb also sees the
Boilermakers and Hoosiers as the
potential powers in the conference
this season.
The Wolverines, in the coach's
estimation, with a representative
performance should finish in "the
top three or fourteams" at the
Kepler. Balliet, shooting in the
fifth position, is coming off a rel-
atively poor showing at Miami.
He shot a disappointing 82 in the
second round of competition, but
Newcomb shows enough confi-
dence in him to come back with
him today.
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'-Associated Press
RAISING HIS ARMS high like some sun-crazed Messiah or lying
fisherman, Charles Coody signals that he has taken the first
round lead in the prestigious but racist Masters with a 6-under-
par 66. You might say he gave the other golfers coodies, heh.
Colt halfback. Matte gutted;
showgirl's hubby shows girl
By The Associated Press
. Baltimore - Baltimore Colt running back Tom Matte's appen-
dix was removed yesterday after an attack the night before that doc-
tors first thought might be a recurring bleeding ulcer.
A spokesman; for the National Football League team reported
Matte was resting comfortably following the surgery at Union Me-
morial Hospital in Baltimore.
® DALLAS - Lance Rentzel, star flanker of the Dallas Cowboys
of the National Football League, pleaded guilty yesterday to a charge
of exposing himself to a 10-year-old girl. He was assessed a 5-year
probated sentence.
The probation terms provided that Rentzel receive medical and
phychiatric care.
Speaking in a barely audible voice, Rentzel made his guilty plea .
before Dist. Judge John Mead in a courtroom more than half full of
spectators.
* * *
* MOMBASA - King-Kong, that ageless sports wonder, is rum-
ored to have signed with the American Basketball Association's new
Mombasa franchise for a five-year supply of bananas.
Scouts report that Kong is an absolutely brutal one-on-one play-
er, but a little tempermental.
* NEW YORK - President Richard M. Nixon and his Vice Pres-
ident Spiro T. Agnew are scheduled to hunt Newfoundland deer with
B-52's on an upcoming segment of The American Sportsmen.
The report from ABC also disclosed yesterday that another fu-
ture segment of the program will feature a stray dog hunt in San
Francisco with woosome twosome Jann Wenner and Alan J. Weber-
man.
Empty Cradles in the Old Corral
Unemployment stalks the campus. Students search frantically for
any kind of part-time work, but there is no work. In fact, if things
don't get better soon, many students may be forced into baby-sitting.
I hear you cry, "No! No!" But alas, my friends, desperate times
require desperate remedies. So if baby-sit we must, let us at least do it
scientifically.
To begin with, be sure you have the right equipment for the job
You will need three things: an ordinary kitchen chair, a whip, and a
pistol loaded with blank cartridges.
It is essential to dominate the baby from the very start. Never
show fear; they can smell it. Walk into the nursery boldly with your
head thrown back, singing a lusty song-La Marseillaise, perhaps, or
A Boy Named Sue. Stomp around the room several times. Crack your
whip. Fire your pistol. Keep it up till the baby knows you mean busi-
ness.
But terror, though necessary, is not enough. To get the best re-
sults out of a baby, you must also make it love and trust you. This,
however, cannot be accomplished by firing your pistol, not even close
to the baby's ear. A new tactic is required: you must give it some food.
The baby's habitual diet is a viscous white fluid called "formula."'
This should be served at the temperature of your wrist. In the event
you can't find the baby's formula, let it suck your wrist. It will never
know the difference, for the baby is basically an organism of dim intel-
ligence, though not without a certain peasant cunning.
After the baby has ingested the formula or sucked your wrist for
thirty minutes or so, it grows stuporous and is ready to go to sleep-the
very thing you've been waiting for. You can hasten this desirable con-
dition by singing a lullaby. If you don't know any lullabies, make one
up. This is really quite simple. In a lullaby the words are unimportat
w since the baby, basically an organism of dim intelligence as we have
seen, does not understand them anyhow. It is the sound which matters
in a lullaby, so use any old thing that comes into your head, just so it
rhymes. For example, I have always had excellent luck with this one:
Go to sleep, mylittle infant,
Googoo, moomoo, poopoo, Ynfant.
Next, arrange the baby in the position for slumber. A baby sleeps
best on its stomach but, owing to its dim intelligence, it will keep turn-
ing itself over if not prevented. Therefore, to insure that it remains
prone, it is wise to place a soft, heavy object on its back-another
baby, if possible.
Once the baby is asleep, remove your wrist from its mouth and
tiptoe softly from the room, closing the door tightly behind you so you
will not be disturbed by its crying. Then turn on the television, go to
the refrigerator and reward yourself for a job well done. Reward your-
self how? Surely you know ... with Miller High Life Beer, of course!
That is how honest workers like you have been rewarding them-
selves for over 115 years. And no wonder! What better reward than
Miller's amber liveliness? What higher bounty than Miller's lively
amberness? What pleasanter premium than Miller's breath-taking,
joy-making, soul-waking flavor? What welcomer bonus than that this
Miller, this best of all possible beers, this jewel of the brewmaster's
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Our brand-new Student-Railpass gives you all
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