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October 08, 1978 - Image 11

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The Michigan Daily, 1978-10-08
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Page 8-Sunday, October 8, 1.978-The Michigan Daily



(Continued from Page 7)
Pradie was still shaking his head and
looking perplexed, so I explained. "We
are convinced that he is a member of
the club to which all the victims
belonged. He is a government leader
who thirsts for more power, and thinks
he can attain it by destroying France's
political system. He is cold and
calculating, but we have found a
weakness in his armor, and we plan to
pierce it. We shall need a dining room
appropriate for the stature of our
suspects - the members of the club
who are in the upper echelons of gover-
"You've got it," Pradie replied. "We
must stop these killings at any cost."
"Very good, my friend," I said as I
put my arm around his shoulder: "Now
all you have to do is invite the members
of that ritzy club who are also affiliated
with the government to dinner
tomorrow night, and leave the rest to
"By the way," I shouted as he hurried
off to make arrangements, "it's black
tie." He nodded and drove off.
The remainder of the day was spent
shopping and cooking, as was the next
day. With the help of the two servants
we managed to finish in time, and we
were prepared when our five guests
arrived en masse at 8:00.
We escorted them into the dining
room, and I retired to the kitchen to
prepare the appetizer while Rene
played host. He has always been the
most gracious of the two of us.
I put a bottle of Stonegate Chenin
Blanc 1975 on ice, and sauteed the fresh
scallops. Rene, meanwhile, explained
our theory about the political
motivation behind the murders over
cocktails in the other room. He was
hoping to make the killer crack, but he
o 'donoghue-
(Continued from Page 5)
Desi almost went to the big Cuba in the
BUT OVERALL he was immensely
satisfied with the show, although
he claims, "now that I left, it's going to
go into the enema bag." More so than
the other writers, O'Donoghue authored
sketches alone to realize the totality of
his ideas. "You have to understand," he
explains, "that most comedy writers
are pathetic, insecure people who
really need like another person to make
a complete human being . . . I don't

would settle for making him nervous.
When the scallops were sauteed, I'
steamed them in sherry, and then
joined our guests. The scallops were, of
course, delicious. The sauteeing
provided a buttery coating, while the
inside was delicately steamed, and all
with a hint of sherry. The wine
mirrored the appetizer: simple but
tasty. It was the only Californian wine
we served, and we picked it for its
crispness, and dry, slightly acidic taste.
Our guests were more at ease now, so
we put our plan into action.
"These murders are so awful, and
there seems to be no clue," I said. "The
Communist Party leader was so alive
just a few days ago, and now- he is
gone." I turned to the finance minister
and said, "You and he were once rivals
for the affections of the same woman, a
Belgian countess, I believe. If I'm not
mistaken, you lost that one."
He nearly gagged on his wine, trying
to defend himself.
"I never killed him!" he exclaimed.
"I never killed anyone. Just becausewe
were romantic rivals is no reason to pin
this on me. What about (Liberal Party
vice chairman) Richelou? They have
hated each other ever since 1964, when
the Communist-"
"That's a lie!" Richelou interrupted.
"I never-"
"Gentlemen," Rene broke in, "don't
be so defensive. No one has made any
accusations. We were just discussing
the matter."
i Everyone soon calmed down, and we
were pleased with the success of the fir-
st stage of our plan. If only things would
hold up until dessert, we'd have our
Next came the soup: Bloemkhousup-
pe, or cream of cauliflower, a recipe
Rene's family has passed down for

generations. It is so secret, he won't
even tell me, but I don't mind as long as
I can eat it. He added a spoonful of
Amontillado sherry before serving, and
we drank the rest of the bottle.
The entree was Porc Sylvestre;
which still required -some preparation,
even though the bulk of it had been
made the day before. I whipped up a
quick Mournay sauce, and poured it
over the pork, which was arranged on a
silver serving tray. I then sprinkled
Jarlsberg cheese over the top, and put
it in the oven for 20 minutes while I
sauteed some broccoli and carrots. We
had already decanted a 'Volnay (Clos-
des Chenes) 1970, and it was busily
breathing away while I cooked.
The pork was so succulent that the
men were compelled to put aside their
suspicions, and enjoy the meal. The
unusual combination of pork roast,
mushroom sauce, Mournay, and-
Canadian bacon, flown in especially for
the occasion, blended to form a rich yet
delicate taste - pure ambrosia.
"And what of the poor Gaullist Party
secretary," Rene said. "Who would
have wanted him dead? I can't imagine
a soul, although he did foreclose on your
brother's mortgage which drove your
brother to suicide, didn't he, Mr.
Renoir (the Minister of Transpor-
Renoir was about to respond, when
Socialist Party leader Stahl, who had
remained calmly aloof all evening,
stopped him.
"Let us not play these childish games
the Americans use to turn us against
one another. We are all innocent, so we
have nothing to fear. Enjoy the mar-
velous meal and the inspiring wine, and
let the Americans worry about the

We let the tension grow by remaining
silent through the spinach and bibb let-
tuce salad and the cheese plate and
bread, which included Roquefort,
Boursault, and St. Soulie. We had
naturally saved our best wine for this
course, and the Chateau Calon Segur
1960 did not disappoint us.
Finally, the moment was right. Rene
brought out the dessert which he had
designed and prepared especially for
this event. We served it, and watched
their reactions as they ate. Stahl in par-
ticular seemed intoxicated by its very
aroma, and when he asked what it con-
tained, we entered the final stage of our
"It is a bavarian cream," Rene ex-
plained, "with d'Anjoupears, Sauterne,
Chateau d'Sudeuiraut, raisins soaked in
Pear Williams, and coated with a hot
raspberry sauce." He seemed stunned
when Rene listed the ingredients, and
that was my cue.
'Yes, Mr. Stahl, I can see why you
would be so interested in this dessert
since it contains each of your favorite
foods, and even your favorite drink -
the same sauternes you shared with the
Communist Party leader the.night you
killed him with this," I shouted as I
threw a French chef's knife on the
table. The dessert had so weakened his
will that he could not even defend him-
self. He fainted at the sight of the knife,
and Inspector Pradie had his murderer.
"You have saved France, gen-
tlemen," our distinguished guests said
in unison. "You must accompany us to
the President's office to be decorated."
"Thank you," I said, responding for
the two of us, "but we still have to finish
our dessert, this lovely Chateau. d'
Yquem and then some espresso and
cognac . . ."


particularly suffer that, at least
aesthetically. Emotionally, of course,
I'm a fragment, a shard of what a true
human being should be. But
aesthetically I'm a rock, so I don't have
these problems."
The fruits of his individualism were
many, but perhaps none surpassed the
Star Trek parody, which, ironically,
reflected few of its creator's usual
obsessions. The aliens in the
Enterprise's "Last Voyage" were NBC
executives, who defeated the crew by
cancelling the series. In an inspired
moment, an exec pulled off Mr. Spock's

- (played by Chevy Chase) pointy ears,
Branded-style, and Chase began
bawling hysterically, "I want my ears!"
O'Donoghue readily recalls a.time
when "it looked like I was freaking in
all vanguard, and then all at once I
realized, 'I'm not freaking in all
vanguard, I'm the center of the strike
zone. I'm not even the corner of the
strike zone; I'm right down the heart of
the plate and nobody fuckin' knows it'."
F rom freaking in all vanguard to the
Father of Modern Comedy is a hefty
transition, but O'Donoghue isn't
stopping there. He has three specials
lined up for NBC, tentatively
entitled "War of the Insect Gods," "The ,
Models," and "Mr. Mike's Mondo Video
Show." Although for the most part the
specials-collectively referred to as
"Project X". by his office in New
York-are still in the planning stages,
possible'ideas include a parody of the
campy anti-marijuana propoganda
film Reefer Madness called Try My

Brand, and a monster movie with the
self-explanatory title of Planet of the
Cheap Special Effects.
Of his 'comedy, O'Donoghue
maintains, "There usually is a point to
it. I don't mind being mildly silly,
because I like to break whatever rules I
set. But I do usually have a reason for'
doing something. There's usually an
attitude-you have a sense there's a
person behind it who has opinions about
Those opinions may never get
O'Donoghue invited to dine at the White
House, but he deserves space in a time
capsule somewhere, if for no other
reason than the fact he brought the
Mormon Tabernacle Choir-gouging
their eyes out to national television. But
what is in store for him once the word is
handed down, and others take up the
bludgeon for "search and destroy"
humor? "I'll probably go into Persian
miniatures or something like that," he
says, "and get out of the fuckin' field


(Continued from Page 6)
government he so detests. He refers to
such liberals as being "possessed by
delusions of moral grandeur." He says
the liberals do far more harm to society
by legislation than they would ever be
willing to belie
SUCH TALK would tend to make con-
servatives nod their heads eagerly
and continue reading, and make
liberals throw the book down in disgust
and dismiss Simon as a hopeless basket
But the book is a lucid statement of
one conservative opinion worth reading
by all. While it will probably not con-
vert many to the conservative
viewpoint, the book is worth reading
just because it is a fairly coherent
statement of a conservative philosophy,
and will undoubtedly provoke much
thought and discussion.
One irritating error mars Simon's
high-minded philosophizing about liber-
ties guaranteed to. Americans. He

states: "It is in this language that
ultimately appeared in our Constitution
as the rights to 'Life, Liberty, and the
Pursuit of Happiness.' " Simon should
know that no such "rights" appear in
the Constitution as such, those words
are from the symbolic but relatively
powerless Declaration of Independen-
Simon may be a bit overly dramatic
in his battle cry for a "counterin-
telligensia" to do battle against
"moral and economic despots", but his
comments are interesting, especially in
this new era of tax revolts.
Simon's book has to be regarded as
worthwhile for people of all political
and economic persuasions. He states a
major economic view with uncommon
frankness and readability. While the
book, of course, will not convert those
entrenched in other economic positio.'s,
it at least offers an opportunity for un-
derstanding how he arrived at his
position. Simon raises intriguing
questions and his philosophy merits
careful analysis.

sundaT~' nmdazine

Elizabeth Slowik

Sue Warner


Books Editor
Brian Blanchard
Cover Photo of Michael O'Donoghue
By Edie Baksin

A look at
the straight
A student

Bill Simon's

A nlife

Supplement to The Michigan Daily

Ann Arbor, Michigan-Sunday, October 8, 1978

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