'THURSDAY, 8 APRIL 1965
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
PAGE SEVEN
S5
LLOYD GRAFF
Never Trust Thata
Fat Ping Pong Player
"Never trust a, fat ping pong player."t
That's a credo I now go by along with "never eat salami before1
applying for a job," and "always tell the waiter medium well when
you want your steak rare."
I fancy myself as a pretty fair ping pong player, maybe one of8
the top 20 on campus,, but certainly no all-star. You might sayc
I'm'& B plus player who sometimes reaches A minus caliber.
. Occasionally I mosey over to the Recreation Hall and play ax
few games to loosen up the wrist and show myself that I can still1
do something well in my old age. The problem is to find a partner.
V Not nmany people play ping pong around here.
One day after taking it in the ear on an exam I felt the needE
for a, lift-for ping pong. For somebody who loves the game like I
do, a table tennis (that's the refined name for the game) match
is sheer bliss, better than a fudge ripple ice cream cone in July.t
I walked into the billiard room where they hide the ping pongf
tables behind a four-foot high wall. One thing I'll never understand
is why people would rather conk a cue ball than play ping pong,
but some do, evidently. I looked to see if anyone was playing, and1
to my utter disappointment there wasn't a soul with a racket in
his hand. This is like going to a McDonald's and discovering they're1
out of hamburgers.
But there was this fat kid, with fluffy jowls and a floppy
chin. He was looking at the ping pong tables forlornly with t
beady little eyes that looked like a couple of specks in a big
7 serving of mashed potatoes. He had huge thighs and tiny ankles,
and was wearing thin green socks and sneakers.
If there ever was a guy who didn't look like a bullfighter it was
he. But bullfighters usually don't play ping pong, anyway, and fatc
guys sometimes do, so I asked the chubby fella if he wanted to play.,
"Well," he paused, "OK ,a couple of games but I'm not that good."
"Oh don't worry about that, I'm not so hot myself," I lied
magnanimously.l
We took our paddles and got started. I slammed a couple to
show off and swore when I missed a cut shot just to tell the fat
guy, who had introduced himself as Harry, that he was playing
against a pro.'
Harry asked if I wanted to-play a game and I said sure. I was
having a good day and I figured I could beat Harry left-handed,
so I decided I'd try to hustle him, a little.
"What do you say two bits a game, Harry."
"Well, I don't know. Ah, what the heck, it's only money. OK,
two bits a game," Harry said wiping his forehead that was leaking
f perspiration.
I knew I had a sucker in Harry, so I decided to treat him
gently and let him score 17 or 18 points so he'd think he had;
a chance. And every game Harry would get close and just lose
- at'the end.
ate0mt not so bad, at that," said jolly Harry after he had 1
dropped a buck and a quarter after five games.
"Why don't we make it double or nothing, 'cause I gotta leave
soon," Harry shot back across the tale.
This was too good to be true. I not only had a live one, but he
was begging for more. I knew I had to play it cool and handle him
carefully.
"Are you sure you want to Harry, you know you're down a.
buck and a quarter?"
"Yeah, if I'm gonna win my money back I better do it in a
t hurry.-
Big Ten Gridders Begin
V
By CHUCK VETZNER
Here in Ann Arbor the weather
is finally starting to get warm,
and the football team is finally
getting outside for the last week
of spring practice.
But at the other Big Ten insti-
tutions, where old fashioned'
things like June graduates, still
prevail, the cowardly grid squads
waited. till Spring for the com-
mencement of spring drills.
Such tactics are understand-
able, however, since the players
can show their stuff amid the
blossoming wonders of nature
rather than under leaky field
house roofs.
This Week!
All the other Western Confer-
ence teams start scrimmaging this
week with the exception of Iowa,
which has so little faith in the
humid continental climate that
the Hawkeye gridders won't ven-!
ture outdoors until April 19.
Down the road at Michigan
State, the warm weather should
be especially agreeable to the,
Spartan's barefoot place kicker
Dick Kenny. But the emphasis at
MSU may be on passing since the
returning veterans include quar-
terback Steve Juday and split end
Gene Washington who was the
conference hurdles champ.
The Big Ten's second best rush-
er, Dick Gordon, is gone, but
Coach Duffy Daugherty can call
on an outstanding crop of fresh-
men to plug up the holes.
Loaded for Wolves
As usual, Ohio State appears
loaded. Back for another season
are quarterback Don Unverferth
and fearsome linebackers Tom
TRACK TONIGHT:
121 Tiles
On the Line
As the semester enters its final
stages intramural action pushes
into its final weeks with several
championships hanging in the
balance.
This evening at 7:30 the annual
Fraternity Track Meet will be held
at Yost Field House. Sigma Alpha
1upsilon is defending champion.
From Monday through Thursday
of next week the foul shooting
event will be held at the IM
building.,
In other happenings down at
the IM building this week, the
State Paddleball Championship
will be held this weekend begin-
ning at 1 p.m. Friday. There are
16 singles and 16 doubles teams
entered in the tournament.
Bugel and Ike Kelley. Coach
Woody Hayes, who dresses in
shirt sleeves no matter what the
weather is like, plans to switch
halfback Tom Barrington to full-
back.
Illinois has its entire backfield
returning but faces trouble on the
line. The most important loss is
The Animal-Dick Butkus, whom
Bob Timberlake considers the top
defenseman he faced last season.
Leads Offense
All-American fullback Jim
Grabowski will probably carry the
offense, especially with top end
Bob Trumpy no longer in school
and spending his spring days in
a more leisurely fashion.
At Purdue, the Boilermakers will
be making all their opponents
sweat next season. Leading the
charge is a smooth operator nam-
ed Bob Griese and his passing
target Bob Hadrick. Halfbacks
Gordon Teter and Randy Minniear
will be lending their support.
Coach Jack Mollenkopf hopes to
beef up the defense which lost
Jim Garcia, but still has tackle
Jerry Shay.
Slick Gophers
Up in the northlands of Min-
nesota, the Gophers have them-
selves a cool passing attack spear-
headed by signal caller John
Kankinson. He broke school pass-
ing records as a sophomore last
season and hehshould do better
this year with three fine receivers
in Aaron Brown, Ken Last and
Kent Kramer.
At fullback will be Toledo soph
Joe Williams who broke Hayes'
heart when he left the state.
Coach Murray Warmath obvious-
ly considers defense the main
problem area.
New Philosophy
The philosophy at Indiana is
"let's win now," but new coach
John Pont will have a tough time
following the policy. Pont has been
at Yale the last two seasons
where the main spring sports do
not include football. Quarterback
Richie Badar, fullback Tom No-
watzke, and 22 other lettermen
have departed making Pont's task
all the more difficult.
Northwestern no longer has Tom
Myers and will switch to a run-
ning offense. New quarterback
Dave Milam apparently is better
at football than more wintry
sports. After the season, he suf-
fered a shoulder injury in a ski-
ing accident, but he has apparent-
ly recovered and plans to stick
with the pigskin this spring.
Holes to Fill
Wisconsin coach Milt Bruhn has
the heat on to produce a winner
but he faces a major rebuilding
chore with new men needed at all
backfield and end spots. The Bad-
ger quarterback will be a sopho-
more-either Chuck Burt or John
Boyajian.
When Iowa finally gets started
with its drills, many, many foot-
balls will be sent into the sunny
skies. The Hawkeyes will be pass-
Vorkouts
ing to their heart's content with
Gary Snook the number one hur-
ler and Karl Noonan and Rich
O'Hara doing the catching.
Last season Iowa finished tenth
in the Big Ten and were second to
Michigan in offense. If coach
Jerry Burns can mend the defense,
their position is sure to rise.
ti
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"DISARMAMENT-
AMERICA'S SURRENDER"
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Is
Is
Is
Is
Viet Nam disarming?
Russia disarming?
China disarming?
America disarming?
NO!
NO!
NO!
YES !
Disarmament as proposed by the
U.S. State Dept. is a threat to the
security of national sovereignty,
private property, and liberties.
'Hear
DR. THOMAS PARDER
Past President and Director,
Assoc. of American Physicians and Surgeons-
Flight Surgeon with Marine Air Groups-
Retired as Commander U.S. Navy
3
So we started the game. Harry still looked clumsy as he slid
around, his thin sweaty socks slipping right down to his shoe..
tops. But he was beginning to play a bit better.
"I'm getting better every game," laughed Harry..
"Uh huh," I said and this time I wasn't lying.
"Look," said Harry, "I've got an appointment later this afternoon.
Let's make this the last game. If I lose I'll pay you $3.50 and if
I win you pay me two bucks," he said in a tone that sounded strangely
different than anything that had come out of his mouth earlier.
Who's hustling who, I wondered for a second, but I figured
I'd beaten my flabby friend six straight so I could beat him
once more.
"Fine Harry, you serve," I said with a confident air that
Peter Potter would have called gamesmanship galore.
And Harry served. Boy, did he serve. Whoosh. And the ball
hit me right above the navel, for an ace.
"Nice serve," I said weakly trying to remember my oneupman-
ship. What the hell is going on here, was what I was really thinking..
Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Five straight ace serves,
Harry'd given me. I was shook. I looked around, and saw some
smiling, knowing faces around me. They were saying "look at the
sucker" to themselves. And I stared at Harry. He was still fat,
but he wasn't smiling jovially like before. His teeth were clenched,
his expression locked in a defiant sneer. He refused to look at me.
He just glared at my paddle.
Harry's green socks were pulled up and weren't slipping.
"Why you dirty hustler," I yelled to him when he rifled a smash
by my outstretched forehand. And he didn't say a word.
I swore to myself. Harry took a 17-4 .lead and his frozen
expression never thawed.
"You louse, you fat con man," was all I could blurt out.
And Big Harry ignored me.
I didn't say another word to the hustler. I paid up after the
humiliating 21-5 loss and left. And Big Harry kept his great stone face.
"Never trust a fat ping pong player."
STEVE JUDAY
Admission $1.00
Sat., Apr. 10, 1965
8:00 P.M., donation $1
L"
Students with I.D. 25c
Sponsored by Wash. Co. Cons.
Ann Arbor High School Aud.
'
UNITARIAN
Student Group
1917 Washtenaw
7:00 P.M. Sunday, April '11
Dr. Marshall D. Sahlins,
Assoc. Prof of
Anthropology
THE ORIGINAL
AFFLUENT SOCIETY
Discussions & Refreshments
Cars at 6:45 P.M. at
Lloyd & Union
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