'THURSDAY, 8 APRIL 1965 THE MICHIGAN DAILY PAGE SEVEN S5 LLOYD GRAFF Never Trust Thata Fat Ping Pong Player "Never trust a, fat ping pong player."t That's a credo I now go by along with "never eat salami before1 applying for a job," and "always tell the waiter medium well when you want your steak rare." I fancy myself as a pretty fair ping pong player, maybe one of8 the top 20 on campus,, but certainly no all-star. You might sayc I'm'& B plus player who sometimes reaches A minus caliber. . Occasionally I mosey over to the Recreation Hall and play ax few games to loosen up the wrist and show myself that I can still1 do something well in my old age. The problem is to find a partner. V Not nmany people play ping pong around here. One day after taking it in the ear on an exam I felt the needE for a, lift-for ping pong. For somebody who loves the game like I do, a table tennis (that's the refined name for the game) match is sheer bliss, better than a fudge ripple ice cream cone in July.t I walked into the billiard room where they hide the ping pongf tables behind a four-foot high wall. One thing I'll never understand is why people would rather conk a cue ball than play ping pong, but some do, evidently. I looked to see if anyone was playing, and1 to my utter disappointment there wasn't a soul with a racket in his hand. This is like going to a McDonald's and discovering they're1 out of hamburgers. But there was this fat kid, with fluffy jowls and a floppy chin. He was looking at the ping pong tables forlornly with t beady little eyes that looked like a couple of specks in a big 7 serving of mashed potatoes. He had huge thighs and tiny ankles, and was wearing thin green socks and sneakers. If there ever was a guy who didn't look like a bullfighter it was he. But bullfighters usually don't play ping pong, anyway, and fatc guys sometimes do, so I asked the chubby fella if he wanted to play., "Well," he paused, "OK ,a couple of games but I'm not that good." "Oh don't worry about that, I'm not so hot myself," I lied magnanimously.l We took our paddles and got started. I slammed a couple to show off and swore when I missed a cut shot just to tell the fat guy, who had introduced himself as Harry, that he was playing against a pro.' Harry asked if I wanted to-play a game and I said sure. I was having a good day and I figured I could beat Harry left-handed, so I decided I'd try to hustle him, a little. "What do you say two bits a game, Harry." "Well, I don't know. Ah, what the heck, it's only money. OK, two bits a game," Harry said wiping his forehead that was leaking f perspiration. I knew I had a sucker in Harry, so I decided to treat him gently and let him score 17 or 18 points so he'd think he had; a chance. And every game Harry would get close and just lose - at'the end. ate0mt not so bad, at that," said jolly Harry after he had 1 dropped a buck and a quarter after five games. "Why don't we make it double or nothing, 'cause I gotta leave soon," Harry shot back across the tale. This was too good to be true. I not only had a live one, but he was begging for more. I knew I had to play it cool and handle him carefully. "Are you sure you want to Harry, you know you're down a. buck and a quarter?" "Yeah, if I'm gonna win my money back I better do it in a t hurry.- Big Ten Gridders Begin V By CHUCK VETZNER Here in Ann Arbor the weather is finally starting to get warm, and the football team is finally getting outside for the last week of spring practice. But at the other Big Ten insti- tutions, where old fashioned' things like June graduates, still prevail, the cowardly grid squads waited. till Spring for the com- mencement of spring drills. Such tactics are understand- able, however, since the players can show their stuff amid the blossoming wonders of nature rather than under leaky field house roofs. This Week! All the other Western Confer- ence teams start scrimmaging this week with the exception of Iowa, which has so little faith in the humid continental climate that the Hawkeye gridders won't ven-! ture outdoors until April 19. Down the road at Michigan State, the warm weather should be especially agreeable to the, Spartan's barefoot place kicker Dick Kenny. But the emphasis at MSU may be on passing since the returning veterans include quar- terback Steve Juday and split end Gene Washington who was the conference hurdles champ. The Big Ten's second best rush- er, Dick Gordon, is gone, but Coach Duffy Daugherty can call on an outstanding crop of fresh- men to plug up the holes. Loaded for Wolves As usual, Ohio State appears loaded. Back for another season are quarterback Don Unverferth and fearsome linebackers Tom TRACK TONIGHT: 121 Tiles On the Line As the semester enters its final stages intramural action pushes into its final weeks with several championships hanging in the balance. This evening at 7:30 the annual Fraternity Track Meet will be held at Yost Field House. Sigma Alpha 1upsilon is defending champion. From Monday through Thursday of next week the foul shooting event will be held at the IM building., In other happenings down at the IM building this week, the State Paddleball Championship will be held this weekend begin- ning at 1 p.m. Friday. There are 16 singles and 16 doubles teams entered in the tournament. Bugel and Ike Kelley. Coach Woody Hayes, who dresses in shirt sleeves no matter what the weather is like, plans to switch halfback Tom Barrington to full- back. Illinois has its entire backfield returning but faces trouble on the line. The most important loss is The Animal-Dick Butkus, whom Bob Timberlake considers the top defenseman he faced last season. Leads Offense All-American fullback Jim Grabowski will probably carry the offense, especially with top end Bob Trumpy no longer in school and spending his spring days in a more leisurely fashion. At Purdue, the Boilermakers will be making all their opponents sweat next season. Leading the charge is a smooth operator nam- ed Bob Griese and his passing target Bob Hadrick. Halfbacks Gordon Teter and Randy Minniear will be lending their support. Coach Jack Mollenkopf hopes to beef up the defense which lost Jim Garcia, but still has tackle Jerry Shay. Slick Gophers Up in the northlands of Min- nesota, the Gophers have them- selves a cool passing attack spear- headed by signal caller John Kankinson. He broke school pass- ing records as a sophomore last season and hehshould do better this year with three fine receivers in Aaron Brown, Ken Last and Kent Kramer. At fullback will be Toledo soph Joe Williams who broke Hayes' heart when he left the state. Coach Murray Warmath obvious- ly considers defense the main problem area. New Philosophy The philosophy at Indiana is "let's win now," but new coach John Pont will have a tough time following the policy. Pont has been at Yale the last two seasons where the main spring sports do not include football. Quarterback Richie Badar, fullback Tom No- watzke, and 22 other lettermen have departed making Pont's task all the more difficult. Northwestern no longer has Tom Myers and will switch to a run- ning offense. New quarterback Dave Milam apparently is better at football than more wintry sports. After the season, he suf- fered a shoulder injury in a ski- ing accident, but he has apparent- ly recovered and plans to stick with the pigskin this spring. Holes to Fill Wisconsin coach Milt Bruhn has the heat on to produce a winner but he faces a major rebuilding chore with new men needed at all backfield and end spots. The Bad- ger quarterback will be a sopho- more-either Chuck Burt or John Boyajian. When Iowa finally gets started with its drills, many, many foot- balls will be sent into the sunny skies. The Hawkeyes will be pass- Vorkouts ing to their heart's content with Gary Snook the number one hur- ler and Karl Noonan and Rich O'Hara doing the catching. Last season Iowa finished tenth in the Big Ten and were second to Michigan in offense. If coach Jerry Burns can mend the defense, their position is sure to rise. ti FILECCIA BROS. Expert Shoe Repairing Quick Service available on request 1117 SOUTH UNIVERSITY Pi I] lv I C rIT71 f it 11 Fille Trip Deli 0 -o-Fish . 0.24c )le Thick Shakes . . 22c cious Hamburgers 15c 2000 W. Stadium Blvd. N ' ir I "DISARMAMENT- AMERICA'S SURRENDER" I Is Is Is Is Viet Nam disarming? Russia disarming? China disarming? America disarming? NO! NO! NO! YES ! Disarmament as proposed by the U.S. State Dept. is a threat to the security of national sovereignty, private property, and liberties. 'Hear DR. THOMAS PARDER Past President and Director, Assoc. of American Physicians and Surgeons- Flight Surgeon with Marine Air Groups- Retired as Commander U.S. Navy 3 So we started the game. Harry still looked clumsy as he slid around, his thin sweaty socks slipping right down to his shoe.. tops. But he was beginning to play a bit better. "I'm getting better every game," laughed Harry.. "Uh huh," I said and this time I wasn't lying. "Look," said Harry, "I've got an appointment later this afternoon. Let's make this the last game. If I lose I'll pay you $3.50 and if I win you pay me two bucks," he said in a tone that sounded strangely different than anything that had come out of his mouth earlier. Who's hustling who, I wondered for a second, but I figured I'd beaten my flabby friend six straight so I could beat him once more. "Fine Harry, you serve," I said with a confident air that Peter Potter would have called gamesmanship galore. And Harry served. Boy, did he serve. Whoosh. And the ball hit me right above the navel, for an ace. "Nice serve," I said weakly trying to remember my oneupman- ship. What the hell is going on here, was what I was really thinking.. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Five straight ace serves, Harry'd given me. I was shook. I looked around, and saw some smiling, knowing faces around me. They were saying "look at the sucker" to themselves. And I stared at Harry. He was still fat, but he wasn't smiling jovially like before. His teeth were clenched, his expression locked in a defiant sneer. He refused to look at me. He just glared at my paddle. Harry's green socks were pulled up and weren't slipping. "Why you dirty hustler," I yelled to him when he rifled a smash by my outstretched forehand. And he didn't say a word. I swore to myself. Harry took a 17-4 .lead and his frozen expression never thawed. "You louse, you fat con man," was all I could blurt out. And Big Harry ignored me. I didn't say another word to the hustler. I paid up after the humiliating 21-5 loss and left. And Big Harry kept his great stone face. "Never trust a fat ping pong player." STEVE JUDAY Admission $1.00 Sat., Apr. 10, 1965 8:00 P.M., donation $1 L" Students with I.D. 25c Sponsored by Wash. Co. Cons. Ann Arbor High School Aud. ' UNITARIAN Student Group 1917 Washtenaw 7:00 P.M. Sunday, April '11 Dr. Marshall D. Sahlins, Assoc. Prof of Anthropology THE ORIGINAL AFFLUENT SOCIETY Discussions & Refreshments Cars at 6:45 P.M. at Lloyd & Union 11 Have Your Term Papers typed by Experts? LOW RATES ALL WORK IS GUARANTEED! Bring your rough drafts to-. Kelly Girls Service, Inc. 522 E. 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