AY 25 - 31, 1
THE CITIZE
Erik Washington
Erik,
bout four wee s ago I met
mingly nice young man of
, 35 or so. Aft r the flrst wee
he ed m out to the movies
and dinner. e ent out to a
cond run theatre th t silo d
three films and both the theatre
and the floor wa dirty. And
dinner was t me tacky bar
and grill. The whole evening
costed him all of 10. ow, I
mea lot of money on my
great iob and I live in a lovely
partm nt. Each time th t I
am with this man, he start to
tell me how hard hi life is or
".ow rough everything is going
or him. He s an artist and he is
not very talented. I have nev r
told him what I thought of his
work but I kno th t it isn't
god. m tim when h leaves
I feel bad b c u he's having
ch a hard tim .. But each time
we are together all he ever do s
is lk about i how hard hi
Ii e i. H dumps all kind of
negativity on me and then I
feel like crying. I like him but I
don't like the way he m es me
feel
R.B.
Brooklvn. ew York
your
y y
understand that
much ut the rid.
Try not to hurt hi feel"
anymo than nece But
don't alIo him to dump on you
ymore.
D ar Erik
I wanted to write you a
letter to thank you for helping
my little girl deal with problems
about drug. I know that you
didn't print her letter in the
new paper b cau she ed
you to ke p it private. Erik, she
is finish with dru s and the drug
center that you nd her to had
the right type of program to
E • WO E • CHILDREN
"For a look that's up with the
times, Come to LADY T'S"
TUES.-FRI.-B am.-6 p.m. SAT. B am.-4 p.m.
CLOSeD MON.
A THO Y WILLIA S .
HAIR STYLIST
271 E. E PIRE
BENTON HARBOR
h lp both her and me. I have
my daughter back and we both
want to thank you for your
help. You can print this letter
but p1 a not my name and
city.
Love,
- - "Got a problem? Need
an answer? Or do you just want
to talk? Then write to Erik
Washington in care of this news-
paper or to: "DeQT Erik ",
Times Square Station, P. O. Box
755, New York, New York
10108-0755- --
Are You Self-Destructiue?
By Dr. Chari . F ner
Are you your own wor
enemy? Are you doing the
things that are best for yourself,
or does your behavior contri
bute to your own destruction?
If you di overed that you were
doing certain things each day
that made happiness and sue e
more difficult to achieve would
you stop doing those things? I
certainly hope so.
Let's examine some of your
activities to determine how
valuable or costly they are.
Self-destructive behavior could
be the way that you treat
others that ultimately cau s
you problems. Here is your If
protection quiz:
1. Did you anta onize me
one who is important in your
life and who could rna e things
difficult for you.
2. Did you unwisely accept
the dvice of me ne wh
judgment i no better than your
own?
3. Did you allo a constant
complainer to cau you to feel
bad by telling you about all
of his/her dreadful problems?
4. Did you obligate your If
to do something that you knew
would be extremely difficult
for you?
5, Did you let your If be
pull 9 into a depressive state
by constantly (and unnecessar-
ily reliving sad or bad ex-
perience? •
6. Did you unfairly criticize
and disrespect your lf simply
becau you failed to acco -
plish something?
7. Did you allow yourself
to 10 your own assertiveness
d independence becau you
became too dependent on some
one else who could do the job
no better than your if?
. Did you criticize rneone
unfairly and exces ively?
9. Did you fail to e press
your need for support and love
and therefore fall to get it?
10. Did you hold your emot
ional pain or an er about an
unpleasant event within your
If - and unnecessarily in
crease your stress?
11. Did you say or do some
thing- dishon that may come
b c to haunt you at a later
date?
12. Did you do mething
that contributed to the already
huge hostility that exists in our
world?
13. Do you hold within
yourself unrealistic feelings f
guilt - especially f r things th t
re by n means your fault?
] 4. Are you negle tin to
build up an imp rtant relation
hip?
15. Are you failin to list n
and resp nd to th need and
me es of other who des
p rately need your upp rt?
16. D you perceive of your-
If a bein valueles when y u
kn that y u have many
underdevelop d and dequately
developed capabilities?
17. re you be orning a
cial wallflower - but blaming
other for a decision that you
made.
If you answered yes to any
of the questions make an
urgent effort to chan e your
answers to an emphatic' 0' .
In t day's trouble iety
when most people e t tally
consumed in the ta of bring-
in their live under m blan
o c ntr I you can b a be on
of li ht. But you mu
rtive ttitude t
y ur wn life. If you are
treated unfairly f r the sim
pl t f teas ns, p ut
imm di t ly. Get of y ur r at
nd no nd take c ntrol of
y ur 0 n life. ne el
will.
13
•
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