AY 25 - 31, 1
THE CITIZE
Erik Washington
Erik,
bout four wee s ago I met
mingly nice young man of
, 35 or so. Aft r the flrst wee
he ed m out to the movies
and dinner. e ent out to a
cond run theatre th t silo d
three films and both the theatre
and the floor wa dirty. And
dinner was t me tacky bar
and grill. The whole evening
costed him all of 10. ow, I
mea lot of money on my
great iob and I live in a lovely
partm nt. Each time th t I
am with this man, he start to
tell me how hard hi life is or
".ow rough everything is going
or him. He s an artist and he is
not very talented. I have nev r
told him what I thought of his
work but I kno th t it isn't
god. m tim when h leaves
I feel bad b c u he's having
ch a hard tim .. But each time
we are together all he ever do s
is lk about i how hard hi
Ii e i. H dumps all kind of
negativity on me and then I
feel like crying. I like him but I
don't like the way he m es me
feel
R.B.
Brooklvn. ew York
your
y y
understand that
much ut the rid.
Try not to hurt hi feel"
anymo than nece But
don't alIo him to dump on you
ymore.
D ar Erik
I wanted to write you a
letter to thank you for helping
my little girl deal with problems
about drug. I know that you
didn't print her letter in the
new paper b cau she ed
you to ke p it private. Erik, she
is finish with dru s and the drug
center that you nd her to had
the right type of program to
E • WO E • CHILDREN
"For a look that's up with the
times, Come to LADY T'S"
TUES.-FRI.-B am.-6 p.m. SAT. B am.-4 p.m.
CLOSeD MON.
A THO Y WILLIA S .
HAIR STYLIST
271 E. E PIRE
BENTON HARBOR
h lp both her and me. I have
my daughter back and we both
want to thank you for your
help. You can print this letter
but p1 a not my name and
city.
Love,
- - "Got a problem? Need
an answer? Or do you just want
to talk? Then write to Erik
Washington in care of this news-
paper or to: "DeQT Erik ",
Times Square Station, P. O. Box
755, New York, New York
10108-0755- --
Are You Self-Destructiue?
By Dr. Chari . F ner
Are you your own wor
enemy? Are you doing the
things that are best for yourself,
or does your behavior contri­
bute to your own destruction?
If you di overed that you were
doing certain things each day
that made happiness and sue e
more difficult to achieve would
you stop doing those things? I
certainly hope so.
Let's examine some of your
activities to determine how
valuable or costly they are.
Self-destructive behavior could
be the way that you treat
others that ultimately cau s
you problems. Here is your If­
protection quiz:
1. Did you anta onize me­
one who is important in your
life and who could rna e things
difficult for you.
2. Did you unwisely accept
the dvice of me ne wh
judgment i no better than your
own?
3. Did you allo a constant
complainer to cau you to feel
bad by telling you about all
of his/her dreadful problems?
4. Did you obligate your If
to do something that you knew
would be extremely difficult
for you?
5, Did you let your If be
pull 9 into a depressive state
by constantly (and unnecessar-
ily reliving sad or bad ex-
perience? •
6. Did you unfairly criticize
and disrespect your lf simply
becau you failed to acco -
plish something?
7. Did you allow yourself
to 10 your own assertiveness
d independence becau you
became too dependent on some­
one else who could do the job
no better than your if?
. Did you criticize rneone
unfairly and exces ively?
9. Did you fail to e press
your need for support and love
and therefore fall to get it?
10. Did you hold your emot­
ional pain or an er about an
unpleasant event within your­
If - and unnecessarily in­
crease your stress?
11. Did you say or do some­
thing- dishon that may come
b c to haunt you at a later
date?
12. Did you do mething
that contributed to the already
huge hostility that exists in our
world?
13. Do you hold within
yourself unrealistic feelings f
guilt - especially f r things th t
re by n means your fault?
] 4. Are you negle tin to
build up an imp rtant relation­
hip?
15. Are you failin to list n
and resp nd to th need and
me es of other who des­
p rately need your upp rt?
16. D you perceive of your-
If a bein valueles when y u
kn that y u have many
underdevelop d and dequately
developed capabilities?
17. re you be orning a
cial wallflower - but blaming
other for a decision that you
made.
If you answered yes to any
of the questions make an
urgent effort to chan e your
answers to an emphatic' 0' .
In t day's trouble iety
when most people e t tally
consumed in the ta of bring-
in their live under m blan
o c ntr I you can b a be on
of li ht. But you mu
rtive ttitude t
y ur wn life. If you are
treated unfairly f r the sim­
pl t f teas ns, p ut
imm di t ly. Get of y ur r at
nd no nd take c ntrol of
y ur 0 n life. ne el
will.
13
•
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