32 | MAY 9 • 2024
J
N
T
he meaning and expe-
riences of motherhood
transcend words. It’s a
journey marked by profound
moments of joy, challenges that
test the limits of one’s patience,
and a love so
deep and bound-
less that it defies
explanation.
I am so thankful
to have witnessed
the beautiful
example of my
wife, Mayim, who
has shown me
what it means to be a loving,
patient and mindful mom.
However one becomes a
mother, the holy role of mother-
hood can be transformational.
I have come to understand
that being a mom is about nur-
turing — beyond simple nutri-
tion. From the moment our first
child was born, Mayim’s instinct
to protect, guide and nourish our
new tiny being was awe-
inspiring.
Her boundless patience for the
needs of our children, her gentle
presence soothing and cuddling
our restless kiddos to sleep and
her nourishment of our children
has shown me how much that
motherly nurturing extends
beyond the physical; it means
being a support for our children
in their emotional, intellectual
and spiritual growth.
I have also come to under-
stand that motherhood often
means sacrifice. From sleepless
nights to selflessly putting the
needs of her children above her
own, I have witnessed just how
much of oneself motherhood
asks for. Mothers are asked to
sacrifice their bodies, their sleep,
their career aspirations and
sometimes even their own sense
of self to support their kids.
I remember a moment when
our first child was first born —
within the first week or two of
bringing our daughter home.
My wife and I were bleary-eyed
and sleep-deprived, sleeping
on a couch next to one another
because we were waking up our
daughter every two hours for
feedings, and it was easier than
moving to just sleep where we
were. The alarm went off to let
us know it was time for anoth-
er feeding and I forced myself
awake and, by the time my eyes
were open and I had the where-
withal to figure out what I was
doing, Mayim had gotten up,
scooped up baby Liliana and was
getting ready to feed her.
It was then the beautiful com-
plexity of motherhood began to
hit me. Here was my wife who
had just given birth — her body
was still healing and recovering
from labor and changing yet
again after evicting her tenant for
the last nine months.
Mayim was sleep-deprived yet
she was up and attending to the
needs of our little being, giving
her the nourishment she needed
to thrive, while I was simply
struggling to function with little
sleep and still coming to grips
with just how much our lives
had changed.
I have come to understand
that this selflessness comes from
the depths of love a mother can
have for her children — it can be
unconditional, unwavering and
eternal. It’s in the way a mother’s
heart swells with pride at her
child’s achievements, how she
deeply and personally feels her
children’s successes and failures,
and the fierce protection she
offers in times of need.
Children who grow up with
the ever-present love and sup-
port a mother can offer a life
with the foundational knowledge
that they are loved, which can
make a world of difference in
one’s life. This deep love of a
mother brings with it an innate
ability to help her children perse-
vere in the face of adversity. The
comfort of a mother’s embrace
can be a grounding force
throughout a child’s life.
If we’re doing it right, being
a parent is about creating a safe
and nurturing environment
where children feel loved, sup-
ported and accepted for who
they are. Mothers can be the
driving force behind this —
the glue that holds everything
together and the pillars of
strength upon which their loved
ones lean.
At the same time, I am aware
of the innate power one’s rela-
tionship with their mother has.
Mayim and I often joke, after
working through a particular-
ly difficult matter with one of
our kids, that we need to again
contribute to the kids’ therapy
fund. With this joke comes the
real awareness that our first
relationships can affect a child’s
emotional growth as they get
older and that, for some, that
foundational relationship can be
more a point of pain than a point
of comfort.
More than anything, I have
learned that motherhood is com-
plicated — a constant balancing
act that asks so much of those in
our lives we call mothers.
Our matriarchs Sarah and
Rebecca show us this through
their actions in Torah. Sarah,
who put her own desires to be a
mother aside to be the mother
of a people, and Rebecca, who
helped to do God’s will when her
husband, Isaac, wasn’t prepared
to do it himself, have indelibly
impacted the Jewish people.
Without these strong, deter-
mined, patient and compassion-
ate matriarchs, the Jewish people
would not be who we are today
— in fact, if not for them we
might not be a people at all.
We wouldn’t be if not for our
mothers, and we wouldn’t be
who we are without those we call
mothers. On Mothers’ Day, we
acknowledge and thank all those
mothers in our lives and wish
them all Happy Mother’s Day.
Rabbi Matt Zerwekh is the rabbi of
Temple Emanu-El in Oak Park.
A
Holy Role
OUR COMMUNITY
MOTHER’S DAY ESSAY
Rabbi Matt
Zerwekh