8 | APRIL 11 • 2024
J
N
W
ho is today’s wise
child? Today’s
wicked child?
Some six months after Oct.
7, with Jewish children and
adults still held hostage, with
antisemitism on
the rise around
the world and
with the Jewish
State fighting a
war of self-
defense, seder
nights will soon
arrive to ask
Jewish families once again to
apply the paradigm of oppres-
sion and redemption to our
contemporary experience.
To proceed with the seder
without discussing Israel and
the state of contemporary
Jewry would be to abandon
one of the central tenets of
the Passover observance: In
every generation we are to see
ourselves coming out of Egypt.
Moreover, I wonder: At the
seders this year, will the wise
and the wicked sit next to each
other? Communicate with
each other? And will everyone
around the table agree who is
wise and who is wicked?
The Haggadah’s story of the
Four Children (traditionally,
“Four Sons”) is rooted in an
ancient midrash that helps to
explain four Torah texts about
the older generation teaching
the younger generation about
Passover. Each of the four texts
could correspond to a type
of child we might have: wise,
wicked, simple and one who
does not know how to ask.
The wise child asks a ques-
tion that allows adults to
explain with depth and com-
plexity God’s expectations of
the Jewish people regarding
Passover observance. In this
way, the wise one seeks to
expand her knowledge and
practice, and she identifies
herself as a participant in the
ancient and eternal covenant.
In today’s climate, our
instinct might be to identify
today’s wise child as the one
who understands that the war
Israel is fighting against Hamas
is a just war being fought just-
ly: That is to say, Israel has a
right to defend itself against
those who seek its destruction;
it has an obligation to redeem
its citizens taken hostage; and
it is fighting the most human-
itarian war possible. When
this “wise child” asks about the
conflict, adults can respond
with nuance and explore the
various perspectives by which
one can perceive warfare.
In contrast to the wise child’s
appreciate for depth and com-
plexity, it would be easy, then,
to identify the wicked child
as the one who thinks what
appears to be the opposite: the
one who labels Israel an “occu-
pier;” who calls for an uncon-
ditional Israeli ceasefire; and
who proclaims Israel’s methods
of warfare to be lacking suffi-
cient concern for civilian casu-
alties. Some of us might even
be inclined to disinvite from
the seder the “wicked child”
who thinks this. In our own
fears for the existential surviv-
al of Israel and of the Jewish
people, we might try to limit
our storytelling from Four
Children to Three Children.
We would be wrong to do so.
Yes, in the Haggadah’s story of
the Four Children, the wick-
ed child is one who removes
himself from the story (“What
is this worship to you?”), but
he does remain at the seder
table. As long as our children
attend our seders, the chance
remains for education and for
helping our children to identify
with the Jewish people and
to understand the challenges
Israel faces.
Additionally, if one’s roots in
Jewish values feeds his opposi-
tion to Israel’s war on Hamas,
one might call such a person
misguided or overly compas-
sionate — one might say that
he is a simple child or one who
does not even know how to
ask. If a love for Judaism and
for the Jewish people remains
in the child’s heart, we cannot
call him wicked. More impor-
tantly, by inviting such a per-
son to the seder, we maintain
an opportunity for education.
As such, in the application of
our contemporary experience
to the ancient observance, two
points of guidance come forth.
First, in the story of the Four
Children, the parents gather all
their children around the same
table; open and honest com-
munication is at the heart of
the seder. Parents and grand-
parents must open their hearts
and their minds to even their
most progressive children,
seeking to genuinely hear the
concerns those children are
raising.
Then, and the Torah
itself hints at this (compare
Deuteronomy 6:20 for the
wise with Exodus 12:26, for
example), children should
ask the input of their parents
and grandparents. Teens and
adults would do well to listen
genuinely to the experiences
of their parents and grand-
parents, trying to understand
the fears, the hopes and the
historical realities that guide
the older generations. Parents
and grandparents must remind
their children (even adult chil-
dren) about the vulnerability of
the Jewish people, the double
standards to which Israel is
held, and what has happened
and would happen again to
Jews if there were no Jewish
army.
Communication, especially
the embrace of the Jewish nar-
rative, is the central act of the
Passover seder. Who are this
year’s wise ones? As we gather
around the table this year, may
we remember that the wise are
those who seek to strengthen
Judaism and the Jewish peo-
ple, especially by engaging in
respectful discussion about the
contemporary application of
the lessons of Passover.
The wise are those who
love and respect their family,
gathering with open hearts and
open minds in observance of
Pesach. The wise, too, are fami-
lies of all opinions and political
stripes who unite against the
truly wicked, those who seek
to destroy Judaism and to
murder Jews, those who seek
to squelch our joy and to break
the link in the ancient covenant
between God and the children
of Jacob.
This Passover, may we all
know wisdom; may we all
know safety; may we all know
freedom; may we all know
peace.
Rabbi Aaron Starr is a spiritual leader
of Congregation Shaarey Zedek in
Southfield and a senior rabbinic fellow
of the Shalom Hartman Institute.
PURELY COMMENTARY
Rabbi Aaron
Starr
essay
The Wise and the Wicked: Talking Israel
at the Seder Table This Year