8 | APRIL 11 • 2024 
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N

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ho is today’s wise 
child? Today’s 
wicked child? 
Some six months after Oct. 
7, with Jewish children and 
adults still held hostage, with 
antisemitism on 
the rise around 
the world and 
with the Jewish 
State fighting a 
war of self- 
defense, seder 
nights will soon 
arrive to ask 
Jewish families once again to 
apply the paradigm of oppres-
sion and redemption to our 
contemporary experience. 
To proceed with the seder 
without discussing Israel and 
the state of contemporary 
Jewry would be to abandon 
one of the central tenets of 
the Passover observance: In 
every generation we are to see 
ourselves coming out of Egypt. 
Moreover, I wonder: At the 
seders this year, will the wise 
and the wicked sit next to each 
other? Communicate with 
each other? And will everyone 
around the table agree who is 
wise and who is wicked?
The Haggadah’s story of the 
Four Children (traditionally, 
“Four Sons”) is rooted in an 
ancient midrash that helps to 
explain four Torah texts about 
the older generation teaching 
the younger generation about 
Passover. Each of the four texts 
could correspond to a type 
of child we might have: wise, 
wicked, simple and one who 
does not know how to ask. 
The wise child asks a ques-
tion that allows adults to 
explain with depth and com-
plexity God’s expectations of 

the Jewish people regarding 
Passover observance. In this 
way, the wise one seeks to 
expand her knowledge and 
practice, and she identifies 
herself as a participant in the 
ancient and eternal covenant.
In today’s climate, our 
instinct might be to identify 
today’s wise child as the one 
who understands that the war 
Israel is fighting against Hamas 
is a just war being fought just-
ly: That is to say, Israel has a 
right to defend itself against 
those who seek its destruction; 
it has an obligation to redeem 
its citizens taken hostage; and 
it is fighting the most human-
itarian war possible. When 
this “wise child” asks about the 
conflict, adults can respond 
with nuance and explore the 
various perspectives by which 
one can perceive warfare.
In contrast to the wise child’s 
appreciate for depth and com-
plexity, it would be easy, then, 
to identify the wicked child 
as the one who thinks what 
appears to be the opposite: the 
one who labels Israel an “occu-
pier;” who calls for an uncon-
ditional Israeli ceasefire; and 
who proclaims Israel’s methods 
of warfare to be lacking suffi-
cient concern for civilian casu-
alties. Some of us might even 
be inclined to disinvite from 
the seder the “wicked child” 
who thinks this. In our own 
fears for the existential surviv-
al of Israel and of the Jewish 
people, we might try to limit 
our storytelling from Four 
Children to Three Children.
We would be wrong to do so. 
Yes, in the Haggadah’s story of 
the Four Children, the wick-
ed child is one who removes 

himself from the story (“What 
is this worship to you?”), but 
he does remain at the seder 
table. As long as our children 
attend our seders, the chance 
remains for education and for 
helping our children to identify 
with the Jewish people and 
to understand the challenges 
Israel faces.
Additionally, if one’s roots in 
Jewish values feeds his opposi-
tion to Israel’s war on Hamas, 
one might call such a person 
misguided or overly compas-
sionate — one might say that 
he is a simple child or one who 
does not even know how to 
ask. If a love for Judaism and 
for the Jewish people remains 
in the child’s heart, we cannot 
call him wicked. More impor-
tantly, by inviting such a per-
son to the seder, we maintain 
an opportunity for education.
As such, in the application of 
our contemporary experience 
to the ancient observance, two 
points of guidance come forth. 
First, in the story of the Four 
Children, the parents gather all 
their children around the same 
table; open and honest com-
munication is at the heart of 
the seder. Parents and grand-
parents must open their hearts 
and their minds to even their 
most progressive children, 
seeking to genuinely hear the 
concerns those children are 
raising.
Then, and the Torah 
itself hints at this (compare 
Deuteronomy 6:20 for the 
wise with Exodus 12:26, for 
example), children should 
ask the input of their parents 
and grandparents. Teens and 
adults would do well to listen 
genuinely to the experiences 

of their parents and grand-
parents, trying to understand 
the fears, the hopes and the 
historical realities that guide 
the older generations. Parents 
and grandparents must remind 
their children (even adult chil-
dren) about the vulnerability of 
the Jewish people, the double 
standards to which Israel is 
held, and what has happened 
and would happen again to 
Jews if there were no Jewish 
army.
Communication, especially 
the embrace of the Jewish nar-
rative, is the central act of the 
Passover seder. Who are this 
year’s wise ones? As we gather 
around the table this year, may 
we remember that the wise are 
those who seek to strengthen 
Judaism and the Jewish peo-
ple, especially by engaging in 
respectful discussion about the 
contemporary application of 
the lessons of Passover. 
The wise are those who 
love and respect their family, 
gathering with open hearts and 
open minds in observance of 
Pesach. The wise, too, are fami-
lies of all opinions and political 
stripes who unite against the 
truly wicked, those who seek 
to destroy Judaism and to 
murder Jews, those who seek 
to squelch our joy and to break 
the link in the ancient covenant 
between God and the children 
of Jacob. 
This Passover, may we all 
know wisdom; may we all 
know safety; may we all know 
freedom; may we all know 
peace. 

Rabbi Aaron Starr is a spiritual leader 

of Congregation Shaarey Zedek in 

Southfield and a senior rabbinic fellow 

of the Shalom Hartman Institute.

PURELY COMMENTARY

Rabbi Aaron 
Starr

essay
The Wise and the Wicked: Talking Israel 
at the Seder Table This Year