40 | NOVEMBER 19 • 2020

Hungarian Jews, which was
founded by Mort’
s great-uncle
Adolph Deutch, also founder of
American Savings & Loan and
a generous man who would go
on to finance a lot of local Jews
in business.
While Mort has fond memo-
ries of Uncle Adolph, his mem-
ories of B’
nai Moshe’
s Rabbi
Moses Lehrman aren’
t as pleas-
ant. “
As I was preparing for my
bar mitzvah, Rabbi Lehrman
asked my father where my bar
mitzvah party was going to be.
My father told him we couldn’
t
afford a party, and he didn’
t
know what we were going to
do,
” he said.
According to Mort, “Rabbi
Lehrman lectured my 350-
pound, 6-3 father to the point
where he reduced him to a
mound of tears. He said to him,
‘
You’
re not a good father. A
good father would have saved
and have had a proper party for
his son. Instead, you’
re going to
embarrass your son.
’
”
Young Mort was so angry
at the way he felt the rabbi
treated his father that he said to
himself, “F*** this religion. I’
m
done.
” Between the ages of 13

and 30, he went to synagogue
fewer than five times.
Mort was allowed to invite
one friend to his bar mitz-
vah party, a lunch at Darby’
s
Restaurant in Detroit. “I was
probably the only one who ever
had a bar mitzvah there. I was
mocked by other Jewish kids.
”
Mort managed to escape
poverty through education
and hard work, thanks to his
great-uncle Adolph and his son
Alfred as well as his mother’
s
brother George Reinitz, who
financed his education.
Mort keeps a photo of them
in his office. “Without them, I
wouldn’
t have gone to college.
”

RETURN TO JUDAISM
It wasn’
t until Mort moved back
to Metro Detroit in 1988, 22
years after his bar mitzvah, that
he returned to a synagogue. “I
started going to Beth Shalom
because I heard Rabbi Nelson
was a nice guy.
“I liked him. I told him my
bar mitzvah story. I said having
ostentatious bar mitzvah parties
is bulls**t, and I think it should
change. I told him, ‘
Rabbi, it’
s
the wrong message. Why don’
t

you do a sermon?’
He agreed if
I went to service. I did and he
did.
”
Mort’
s own children’
s bar and
bat mitzvah parties were parties
for kids, not adults. No alcohol
allowed.
He shared another, more
mystical experience that led
him back to the faith. When his
wife was pregnant with his son
Mark (now 27), a prenatal test
revealed a potential life-threat-
ening birth defect — a hole in
the baby’
s spine.
“My wife and I went to Rabbi
Nelson looking for advice. He
put his hands out to us and said,
‘
We’
re going to pray.
’
I’
m think-
ing that’
s ridiculous. But we
did,
” Mort said. “The next time
she got a test, the potential birth
defect had resolved itself. The
hole closed. It re-instilled my
belief in God, a higher power.
”
Mort is now a member in
good standing at Temple Shir
Shalom. “Rabbi Moskowitz,
Rabbi Schwartz, Cantor Penny
Steyer and Rabbi Nelson are
everything that’
s right with
our religion,
” said Mort, who
does marketing and PR for the
temple.

“I don’
t go to services as
much as I should, but I go more
than I used to,
” Mort said. “I try
to sit in the first row. I go look-
ing for nuggets every time.
”
Today, what he enjoys most
are his children, Jason, Nicole
and Mark, “wonderful human
beings who care about their
fellow citizens,
” and grand-
sons Bruce and Tony, whom
he coaches in baseball. As his
grandchildren get older, he
plans to share with them stories
of their faith and their family.

NOT AN EASY TASK
Writing the book has led to
an emotional roller coaster for
Mort. “It caused me some sad-
ness, depression. I’
m trying my
best to fight through it,
” he said.
“Do I always feel good about
myself? No, many times I feel as
bad about myself today as I did
years ago. It’
s just how my brain
works.
“I’
ve seen a shrink for the last
few years and a psychologist
and unlocked a lot of repressed
memories — emotional, mental
and physical abuse that I had
forgotten about. Stupid things
I did that I’
d forgotten about. I
used to not believe in those. But
they are real.
”
Mort said he wants people
who read the book to come away
with the belief that if you’
re in
an addiction, there is help when
you want it. Second, he wants
people to know it’
s remarkable
what we can live through.
“The first time I went to
the psychiatrist, I told him my
story. I asked him, ‘
What do
you think? I’
m not all that bad,
am I? My life?’
“He told me my story was
one of the worst he’
d ever heard.
He said people who are not
as bad off as me commit hei-
nous crimes as a result of their
upbringing.
”
Mort sits back in his office in
Royal Oak and smiles. “In retro-
spect,
” he said, “I wasn’
t all that
good at being all that bad.
”

GLENN TRIEST

ARTS&LIFE
ON THE COVER

MORT MEISNER continued from page 38

Mort Meisner at work.