40 | NOVEMBER 19 • 2020 Hungarian Jews, which was founded by Mort’ s great-uncle Adolph Deutch, also founder of American Savings & Loan and a generous man who would go on to finance a lot of local Jews in business. While Mort has fond memo- ries of Uncle Adolph, his mem- ories of B’ nai Moshe’ s Rabbi Moses Lehrman aren’ t as pleas- ant. “ As I was preparing for my bar mitzvah, Rabbi Lehrman asked my father where my bar mitzvah party was going to be. My father told him we couldn’ t afford a party, and he didn’ t know what we were going to do, ” he said. According to Mort, “Rabbi Lehrman lectured my 350- pound, 6-3 father to the point where he reduced him to a mound of tears. He said to him, ‘ You’ re not a good father. A good father would have saved and have had a proper party for his son. Instead, you’ re going to embarrass your son. ’ ” Young Mort was so angry at the way he felt the rabbi treated his father that he said to himself, “F*** this religion. I’ m done. ” Between the ages of 13 and 30, he went to synagogue fewer than five times. Mort was allowed to invite one friend to his bar mitz- vah party, a lunch at Darby’ s Restaurant in Detroit. “I was probably the only one who ever had a bar mitzvah there. I was mocked by other Jewish kids. ” Mort managed to escape poverty through education and hard work, thanks to his great-uncle Adolph and his son Alfred as well as his mother’ s brother George Reinitz, who financed his education. Mort keeps a photo of them in his office. “Without them, I wouldn’ t have gone to college. ” RETURN TO JUDAISM It wasn’ t until Mort moved back to Metro Detroit in 1988, 22 years after his bar mitzvah, that he returned to a synagogue. “I started going to Beth Shalom because I heard Rabbi Nelson was a nice guy. “I liked him. I told him my bar mitzvah story. I said having ostentatious bar mitzvah parties is bulls**t, and I think it should change. I told him, ‘ Rabbi, it’ s the wrong message. Why don’ t you do a sermon?’ He agreed if I went to service. I did and he did. ” Mort’ s own children’ s bar and bat mitzvah parties were parties for kids, not adults. No alcohol allowed. He shared another, more mystical experience that led him back to the faith. When his wife was pregnant with his son Mark (now 27), a prenatal test revealed a potential life-threat- ening birth defect — a hole in the baby’ s spine. “My wife and I went to Rabbi Nelson looking for advice. He put his hands out to us and said, ‘ We’ re going to pray. ’ I’ m think- ing that’ s ridiculous. But we did, ” Mort said. “The next time she got a test, the potential birth defect had resolved itself. The hole closed. It re-instilled my belief in God, a higher power. ” Mort is now a member in good standing at Temple Shir Shalom. “Rabbi Moskowitz, Rabbi Schwartz, Cantor Penny Steyer and Rabbi Nelson are everything that’ s right with our religion, ” said Mort, who does marketing and PR for the temple. “I don’ t go to services as much as I should, but I go more than I used to, ” Mort said. “I try to sit in the first row. I go look- ing for nuggets every time. ” Today, what he enjoys most are his children, Jason, Nicole and Mark, “wonderful human beings who care about their fellow citizens, ” and grand- sons Bruce and Tony, whom he coaches in baseball. As his grandchildren get older, he plans to share with them stories of their faith and their family. NOT AN EASY TASK Writing the book has led to an emotional roller coaster for Mort. “It caused me some sad- ness, depression. I’ m trying my best to fight through it, ” he said. “Do I always feel good about myself? No, many times I feel as bad about myself today as I did years ago. It’ s just how my brain works. “I’ ve seen a shrink for the last few years and a psychologist and unlocked a lot of repressed memories — emotional, mental and physical abuse that I had forgotten about. Stupid things I did that I’ d forgotten about. I used to not believe in those. But they are real. ” Mort said he wants people who read the book to come away with the belief that if you’ re in an addiction, there is help when you want it. Second, he wants people to know it’ s remarkable what we can live through. “The first time I went to the psychiatrist, I told him my story. I asked him, ‘ What do you think? I’ m not all that bad, am I? My life?’ “He told me my story was one of the worst he’ d ever heard. He said people who are not as bad off as me commit hei- nous crimes as a result of their upbringing. ” Mort sits back in his office in Royal Oak and smiles. “In retro- spect, ” he said, “I wasn’ t all that good at being all that bad. ” GLENN TRIEST ARTS&LIFE ON THE COVER MORT MEISNER continued from page 38 Mort Meisner at work.