32 | NOVEMBER 19 • 2020

SPIRIT

First Families
S

ince I spend part of
each day working as
a child psychologist, I
find the Book of Bereshit, with
its emphasis on family interac-
tions, particularly interesting.
I often look at this
first book of the Torah
as a compilation of
case studies on par-
ent-child relationships.
Often, the interactions
between the fami-
ly members in this
volume appear to be
examples of dysfunc-
tional relationships.
However, we should be
able to learn as much
from our mistakes as
we do from our suc-
cesses. What are some
of the lessons and principles
that we can derive from the
patriarchal stories of Toldot?
• Just because two children
have the same mother and
father in the same household
does not mean they will
behave in similar ways. Esau
and Jacob were fraternal twin
brothers raised by the same
parents at the same time.
• But Esau was impulsive.
He had a short attention span
and he required that his needs
be met immediately. While
Jacob could stay in the tent,
Esau had to be on the move
in the field. Classic Attention
Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
• Consistent parenting
is important. It is vital that
mothers and fathers com-
municate their child-rearing
intentions. It is important they
1) use similar child-rearing
techniques and 2) treat each
child similarly to the extent
possible and 3) that they
support each other. Rebecca

preferred Jacob, and Isaac
preferred Esau. Their different
approaches to their children
led to extreme problems.
• Sibling rivalry is normal
but can be carried to extremes
when children vie for
the love and attention of
their parents. Jacob and
Esau fought with each
other from infancy. Jacob
later tricked Esau out of
the birthright. Later, he
tricked Esau out of his
father’
s blessing to gain
his mother’
s favor.
• Children learn how
to behave by observing
the behavior of import-
ant others. Rebecca’
s
brother Laban was a
trickster. Rebecca later
encouraged Jacob to trick his
father by dressing up as Esau.
Finally, Jacob married into
Rebecca’
s trickster family and
was eventually tricked and lied
to by his own children.
• Communication is essen-
tial. Here, however, no more
than two family members are
“on stage” at the same time.
• Childhood trauma can be
intense, but healing is possible.
Esau was so angry with Jacob
he threatened to kill him. But
years later, the now successful
men were able to reconcile.
Bereshit continues to be one
of the most read books of the
Bible. Perhaps that is because
its characters, our ancestors,
had to struggle and deal with
many of the same family-relat-
ed issues that continue to face
us today. May their lives and
stories continue to show us the
paths to be taken.

Rabbi Mitch Parker is the rabbi

at B’nai Israel Synagogue in West

Bloomfield.

TORAH PORTION

Rabbi Mitch

Parker

Parshat

Toldot:

Genesis

25:19-28:9;

Malachi

1:1-2:7.

5829 Maple Rd. Ste. 129
West Bloomfi
eld, MI 48322

248.757.2503

www.maplepharmacyrx.com

FREE
DELIVERY

MAKE MAPLE PHARMACY… YOUR PHARMACY!

OUR MISSION IS TO BRING SERVICE BACK TO
PHARMACY FOR A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER YOU!!

10%
SENIOR CITIZEN
DISCOUNT

Maple Pharmacy offers:

MAPLE PHARMACY

IMMUNIZATIONS
AND SHINGLES
SHOTS AVAILABLE

A Family Tradition Since 1964

www.antoniosrestaurants.com

37646 W. 12 Mile Rd.
Farmington Hills
248.994.4000

2220 N. Canton Ctr. Rd.
Canton
734.981.9800

26356 Ford Rd.
Dearborn Heights
313.278.6000

9924 Dix Ave. | Dearborn
313.842.2100
31735 Plymouth Rd. | Livonia
734.513.8000

All Locations Featuring Banquet
Facilities & Full Service Bar.
Carry Out & Party Trays Available.

Th
anksgiving is a time to remember the special
people in our lives. It is a time for caring. Most
of all, it is a time of giving thanks for the many
blessings and joys of life. Th
is year has been
devastating for many people, but we need to
focus on the positive. Our family has a special
saying, “Tiriamo Avanti,” which means to
always stay strong and move forward.

We would like to take this opportunity to give
thanks to everyone that has broken bread with
us and supported us throughout this diffi
cult
year. We look forward to serving you for years
to come.

May God Bless Us All,

Antonio Rugiero
CEO. President. Antonio’
s and Roman Village

Fr
o
m

o
u
r

f
a
m
i
l
y

t
o

y
o
u
rs
.
.
.