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essay
Turning 65 and Still Searching for Wisdom
A
ge is just a state of mind, at least
that’
s what Hallmark likes to tell
us. I’
ve always hated that expres-
sion but have been willing to go along
with it for the past 20 years or so. At 40,
it kind of worked. At 50, it was clearly a
fiction, but I clung to it, nonetheless. At
65, however, it’
s a mythical pep talk, a
silly saying that resembles reality about as
much as the tooth fairy.
Sorry, but turning 65
is different. It doesn’
t just
feel old; it’
s officially, gov-
ernment-sanctioned old.
It’
s Medicare-eligible old,
the time to finally figure
out the difference between
Medicare Plan A and Plan
B or to decide when to start collecting
Social Security or what medical directives
to give in the event of your mental inca-
pacitation. You know, fun stuff like that.
When you’
re in your mid-60s, the
reminders of your senior status are every-
where. I was watching the American
Music Awards and saw Taylor Swift
being given the “Musician of the Decade”
award. Of course, I know who Taylor
Swift is, but I realized that I couldn’
t
name a single one of her songs. Here she’
s
supposedly the most influential musician
of the whole decade and I don’
t even
know her music. I used to be the guy
who owned hundreds of albums, studied
the pop charts and subscribed to Rolling
Stone magazine. Now I’
m apparently so
old that I missed an entire decade of pop-
ular music.
Admittedly, my music tastes aren’
t
exactly contemporary. I’
m hopelessly
stuck in the bygone era of the ’
60s and
’
70s. If I’
m being honest, I’
m just starting
to emerge from the ’
60s and into the ’
70s.
(Led Zepplin and Queen, it turns out,
were really good! I think they’
re going to
be big). At this rate, I figure I’
ll discover
Kelly Clarkston and Britney Spears when
I turn about 100, which is fine by me.
I’
m learning just how tempting it is to
lose our patience as we age. We finally
give ourselves a license to do and say
what we want, and that can be wonder-
fully liberating. But it’
s also easy — too
easy — to become a grumpy old person. I
know I have to tolerate people who annoy
me, but sometimes I really have to fight
the urge to be unkind.
I recently ordered an Uber and the
comment section noted that the driv-
er was “a good conversationalist.” That
instantly depressed me since I was in no
mood for a conversation with anyone.
But I didn’
t want to be the unfriend-
ly older guy, so when I met the chatty
driver I smiled and, sure enough, within
minutes I started hearing all about his
recent dental surgery. I was captive to his
agonizing tale of Novocain and bleeding
gums. There was nothing good about the
conversation, and I seriously considered
quietly opening the rear door and rolling
out onto the freeway. But I did learn to be
more careful about who I smile at, which,
of course, is the first step at full-blown
old man grumpiness.
One thing I’
ve already learned about
turning 65 is the amount of attention
you suddenly get from people trying to
sell you things. Each year, the 60 million
people who are eligible for Medicare can
purchase or modify their supplemental
coverage, so be prepared to be inundated
with salespeople who seem to come out
of the woodwork. Their phone calls are
constant, with all kinds of clever ways to
scare you and grab their share of your
wallet. I’
ve taken to avoiding all unrecog-
nizable incoming phone calls, something
I should’
ve started doing years ago.
The AARP emails are also constant,
Mark Jacobs
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