Views essay Turning 65 and Still Searching for Wisdom A ge is just a state of mind, at least that’ s what Hallmark likes to tell us. I’ ve always hated that expres- sion but have been willing to go along with it for the past 20 years or so. At 40, it kind of worked. At 50, it was clearly a fiction, but I clung to it, nonetheless. At 65, however, it’ s a mythical pep talk, a silly saying that resembles reality about as much as the tooth fairy. Sorry, but turning 65 is different. It doesn’ t just feel old; it’ s officially, gov- ernment-sanctioned old. It’ s Medicare-eligible old, the time to finally figure out the difference between Medicare Plan A and Plan B or to decide when to start collecting Social Security or what medical directives to give in the event of your mental inca- pacitation. You know, fun stuff like that. When you’ re in your mid-60s, the reminders of your senior status are every- where. I was watching the American Music Awards and saw Taylor Swift being given the “Musician of the Decade” award. Of course, I know who Taylor Swift is, but I realized that I couldn’ t name a single one of her songs. Here she’ s supposedly the most influential musician of the whole decade and I don’ t even know her music. I used to be the guy who owned hundreds of albums, studied the pop charts and subscribed to Rolling Stone magazine. Now I’ m apparently so old that I missed an entire decade of pop- ular music. Admittedly, my music tastes aren’ t exactly contemporary. I’ m hopelessly stuck in the bygone era of the ’ 60s and ’ 70s. If I’ m being honest, I’ m just starting to emerge from the ’ 60s and into the ’ 70s. (Led Zepplin and Queen, it turns out, were really good! I think they’ re going to be big). At this rate, I figure I’ ll discover Kelly Clarkston and Britney Spears when I turn about 100, which is fine by me. I’ m learning just how tempting it is to lose our patience as we age. We finally give ourselves a license to do and say what we want, and that can be wonder- fully liberating. But it’ s also easy — too easy — to become a grumpy old person. I know I have to tolerate people who annoy me, but sometimes I really have to fight the urge to be unkind. I recently ordered an Uber and the comment section noted that the driv- er was “a good conversationalist.” That instantly depressed me since I was in no mood for a conversation with anyone. But I didn’ t want to be the unfriend- ly older guy, so when I met the chatty driver I smiled and, sure enough, within minutes I started hearing all about his recent dental surgery. I was captive to his agonizing tale of Novocain and bleeding gums. There was nothing good about the conversation, and I seriously considered quietly opening the rear door and rolling out onto the freeway. But I did learn to be more careful about who I smile at, which, of course, is the first step at full-blown old man grumpiness. One thing I’ ve already learned about turning 65 is the amount of attention you suddenly get from people trying to sell you things. Each year, the 60 million people who are eligible for Medicare can purchase or modify their supplemental coverage, so be prepared to be inundated with salespeople who seem to come out of the woodwork. Their phone calls are constant, with all kinds of clever ways to scare you and grab their share of your wallet. I’ ve taken to avoiding all unrecog- nizable incoming phone calls, something I should’ ve started doing years ago. The AARP emails are also constant, Mark Jacobs To make a donation to the DETROIT JEWISH NEWS FOUNDATION go to the website www.djnfoundation.org The Detroit Jewish News (USPS 275-520) is published every Thursday at 29200 Northwestern Highway, #110, Southfield, Michigan. Periodical postage paid at Southfield, Michigan, and additional mailing offices. Postmaster: send changes to: Detroit Jewish News, 29200 Northwestern Hwy., #110, Southfield, MI 48034. 8 | JANUARY 9 • 2020 1942 - 2020 Covering and Connecting Jewish Detroit Every Week jn Arthur M. Horwitz Executive Editor/Publisher ahorwitz@renmedia.us F. 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