JANUARY 2 • 2020 | 27

Rivalry And Discord
S

adly, many people expe-
rience discord in their
family. Relatives are
estranged; holiday meals turn
into grand debates; and
family members refuse
to attend each other’
s
simchahs.
In some cases, war-
ring factions don’
t even
remember the reason
for the initial strife.
Often, it begins with
sibling rivalry, a main
theme in this first book
of the Torah.
The first two brothers
were Cain and Abel,
who didn’
t get along
very well — their rela-
tionship ended in fratricide.
The first Hebrew brothers
were Abraham’
s sons, Ishmael
and Isaac, who never saw eye
to eye. Isaac’
s twin sons, Esau
and Jacob, began their rival-
ry with a fight in the womb.
Before they finally reconciled
as adults, Jacob was scared a
vengeful Esau would kill him
for stealing the birthright.
Sibling rivalry in the Torah
isn’
t reserved only for men.
Jacob married two sisters,
Leah and Rachel, who also did
not get along. Their hostility
continued to the next genera-
tion as their sons were jealous
of each other and allowed
their emotions to damage their
sibling relationships.
Joseph’
s older brothers, the
Torah tells us, hated him and
treated him badly. They threw
him in a pit and sold him to
slave traders. The abuse Joseph
suffered from his brothers had
long-term negative effects on
him, even though he emerged
as a successful leader in Egypt.
As fate would have it,
Joseph’
s brothers, who tor-

mented him in his youth,
now must face him and beg
him for grain to take back
home during the famine. Near
the end of last week’
s
portion, Joseph tests
his brothers to see if
they have learned their
lesson. He tells them
to abandon youngest
brother Benjamin to see
if they will put a sibling
in potential harm again.
Joseph’
s brother Judah
seems to have redeemed
himself. Years earlier, he
played a key role in sell-
ing Joseph into slavery.
Now, Judah steps for-
ward and offers himself
instead of Benjamin. When
Joseph sees Judah’
s action, he
is overcome by emotion. Only
then does he reveal himself
and the brothers cry together.
Judah is a model for anyone
in an estranged fmaily rela-
tionship. He shows that from
repentance comes redemp-
tion and reconciliation.
Disharmony is like a sickness,
with healing only occurring
when one side is willing to
move toward redemption.
Bringing peace and healing
to fractured families should be
a goal. When we achieve har-
mony at home (shalom bayit)
and end the divisiveness in
our families, we will then be
empowered to go out and
bring harmony to the world
at large, ensuring Jewish
survival for generations to
come.

Rabbi Jason Miller is an educator
and technology entrepreneur. He
is president of Access Technology,
the founder and director of Kosher
Michigan and he officiates private
bar and bat mitzvahs through
mitzvahrabbi.com.

Parshat

Vayigash:

Genesis

44:18-47:27;

Ezekiel

37:15-28.

Rabbi Jason
Miller

Spirit
torah portion

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