JANUARY 2 • 2020 | 27

Rivalry And Discord
S

adly, many people expe-
rience discord in their 
family. Relatives are 
estranged; holiday meals turn 
into grand debates; and 
family members refuse 
to attend each other’
s 
simchahs. 
In some cases, war-
ring factions don’
t even 
remember the reason 
for the initial strife. 
Often, it begins with 
sibling rivalry, a main 
theme in this first book 
of the Torah. 
The first two brothers 
were Cain and Abel, 
who didn’
t get along 
very well — their rela-
tionship ended in fratricide. 
The first Hebrew brothers 
were Abraham’
s sons, Ishmael 
and Isaac, who never saw eye 
to eye. Isaac’
s twin sons, Esau 
and Jacob, began their rival-
ry with a fight in the womb. 
Before they finally reconciled 
as adults, Jacob was scared a 
vengeful Esau would kill him 
for stealing the birthright.
Sibling rivalry in the Torah 
isn’
t reserved only for men.
Jacob married two sisters, 
Leah and Rachel, who also did 
not get along. Their hostility 
continued to the next genera-
tion as their sons were jealous 
of each other and allowed 
their emotions to damage their 
sibling relationships.
Joseph’
s older brothers, the 
Torah tells us, hated him and 
treated him badly. They threw 
him in a pit and sold him to 
slave traders. The abuse Joseph 
suffered from his brothers had 
long-term negative effects on 
him, even though he emerged 
as a successful leader in Egypt. 
As fate would have it, 
Joseph’
s brothers, who tor-

mented him in his youth, 
now must face him and beg 
him for grain to take back 
home during the famine. Near 
the end of last week’
s 
portion, Joseph tests 
his brothers to see if 
they have learned their 
lesson. He tells them 
to abandon youngest 
brother Benjamin to see 
if they will put a sibling 
in potential harm again.
Joseph’
s brother Judah 
seems to have redeemed 
himself. Years earlier, he 
played a key role in sell-
ing Joseph into slavery. 
Now, Judah steps for-
ward and offers himself 
instead of Benjamin. When 
Joseph sees Judah’
s action, he 
is overcome by emotion. Only 
then does he reveal himself 
and the brothers cry together. 
Judah is a model for anyone 
in an estranged fmaily rela-
tionship. He shows that from 
repentance comes redemp-
tion and reconciliation. 
Disharmony is like a sickness, 
with healing only occurring 
when one side is willing to 
move toward redemption. 
Bringing peace and healing 
to fractured families should be 
a goal. When we achieve har-
mony at home (shalom bayit) 
and end the divisiveness in 
our families, we will then be 
empowered to go out and 
bring harmony to the world 
at large, ensuring Jewish 
survival for generations to 
come. 

Rabbi Jason Miller is an educator 
and technology entrepreneur. He 
is president of Access Technology, 
the founder and director of Kosher 
Michigan and he officiates private 
bar and bat mitzvahs through 
mitzvahrabbi.com.

Parshat 

Vayigash: 

Genesis 

44:18-47:27; 

Ezekiel 

37:15-28.

Rabbi Jason 
Miller

Spirit
torah portion

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