24 | DECEMBER 19 • 2019

A Holiday of Giving

Local families fi
nd ways to make Chanukah more meaningful.

ROCHEL BURSTYN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Jews in the D

M

any Jewish parents worry
about materialism in this
gift-giving season. How
best to balance spirituality, instill
cherished values in the kids, all
while giving them a good time?
Many Detroit families say they
use Chanukah as an opportunity
to teach their kids about giving.
Rebecca Skoczylas of Southfield
describes an enthusiastic holiday
with her husband, Erie, and kids,
Avi, 15, Alyssa, 12, and Emma, 5.
“We light the candles and then all
dance together in a family circle
every night, while the dog goes
crazy! It’
s really interactive and
enjoyable and the kids love it.”
Skoczylas gives her kids gifts
every night of Chanukah although
most are the affordable variety:
vouchers for a parent-child ice
cream date, chore-free day and
stay-up-late pass.
They also write a check in their
children’
s honor to a charity every
Chanukah. “We let the kids choose
which charity because that opens
the discussion for what causes
are important to them. It helps
develop an awareness of the world,
how others may need and how

lucky they are.”
Last year, Skoczylas was
surprised and pleased when Avi
thanked her for doing that —
proving that giving can be more
enjoyable than receiving, even for
kids.
Inspiration for eight days’
worth
of creative gift-giving can be
found anywhere. In 2015, Debra
Yamron Yamstein of Oak Park
read an article on Kveller.com
that suggested a spin that didn’
t
sound too overwhelming. Yamstein
tweaked it slightly and ever since,
her kids Shira, 10, and Noa, 8, look
forward to a different theme every
night of Chanukah: Something
you want, something you need,
something to wear, something to
read, something to give, something
fuzzy, something to eat and
something with Bubbie …
“It’
s hard to get away from
the fact that kids expect gifts in
today’
s culture. This way we don’
t
have to do anything extravagant
and it’
s a good way to manage the
kid’
s expectations,” said Yamstein,
who’
s vice president of senior adult
services and community inclusion
at JVS Human Services. She said
implementing these categories

freed them up to enjoy the holiday
in a different way, without too
much focus on the gifts.
Most meaningful is their
“something to give” night, when
the Yamstein kids sort through
their toys and decide what to
give away. They also empty their
tzedakah boxes and have a family
discussion about which charity the
money should go to. Last year, they
picked Yad Ezra, purchased food
and hand-delivered it.
There are many opportunities to
give in the Detroit community and

TOP: Julie Rosenbaum delivers all the gifts
her family gathered for the families they adopt
during the holidays through Jewish Family
Service. BOTTOM: Julie and Eric Rosenbaum
with children Simon, 4, and Pearl, 2.

continued on page 26

COURTESY ROSENBAUM FAMILY
COURTESY ROSENBAUM FAMILY

Erie Skoczylas and children
Avi, 15, Alyssa, 12, and Emma,
5, last year during Chanukah

REBECCA SKOCZYLAS