24 | DECEMBER 19 • 2019 

A Holiday of Giving

Local families fi
 nd ways to make Chanukah more meaningful.

ROCHEL BURSTYN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Jews in the D

M

any Jewish parents worry 
about materialism in this 
gift-giving season. How 
best to balance spirituality, instill 
cherished values in the kids, all 
while giving them a good time? 
Many Detroit families say they 
use Chanukah as an opportunity 
to teach their kids about giving. 
Rebecca Skoczylas of Southfield 
describes an enthusiastic holiday 
with her husband, Erie, and kids, 
Avi, 15, Alyssa, 12, and Emma, 5. 
“We light the candles and then all 
dance together in a family circle 
every night, while the dog goes 
crazy! It’
s really interactive and 
enjoyable and the kids love it.” 
Skoczylas gives her kids gifts 
every night of Chanukah although 
most are the affordable variety: 
vouchers for a parent-child ice 
cream date, chore-free day and 
stay-up-late pass. 
They also write a check in their 
children’
s honor to a charity every 
Chanukah. “We let the kids choose 
which charity because that opens 
the discussion for what causes 
are important to them. It helps 
develop an awareness of the world, 
how others may need and how 

lucky they are.” 
Last year, Skoczylas was 
surprised and pleased when Avi 
thanked her for doing that — 
proving that giving can be more 
enjoyable than receiving, even for 
kids. 
Inspiration for eight days’
 worth 
of creative gift-giving can be 
found anywhere. In 2015, Debra 
Yamron Yamstein of Oak Park 
read an article on Kveller.com 
that suggested a spin that didn’
t 
sound too overwhelming. Yamstein 
tweaked it slightly and ever since, 
her kids Shira, 10, and Noa, 8, look 
forward to a different theme every 
night of Chanukah: Something 
you want, something you need, 
something to wear, something to 
read, something to give, something 
fuzzy, something to eat and 
something with Bubbie … 
“It’
s hard to get away from 
the fact that kids expect gifts in 
today’
s culture. This way we don’
t 
have to do anything extravagant 
and it’
s a good way to manage the 
kid’
s expectations,” said Yamstein, 
who’
s vice president of senior adult 
services and community inclusion 
at JVS Human Services. She said 
implementing these categories 

freed them up to enjoy the holiday 
in a different way, without too 
much focus on the gifts. 
Most meaningful is their 
“something to give” night, when 
the Yamstein kids sort through 
their toys and decide what to 
give away. They also empty their 
tzedakah boxes and have a family 
discussion about which charity the 
money should go to. Last year, they 
picked Yad Ezra, purchased food 
and hand-delivered it. 
There are many opportunities to 
give in the Detroit community and 

TOP: Julie Rosenbaum delivers all the gifts 
her family gathered for the families they adopt 
during the holidays through Jewish Family 
Service. BOTTOM: Julie and Eric Rosenbaum 
with children Simon, 4, and Pearl, 2.

continued on page 26

COURTESY ROSENBAUM FAMILY
COURTESY ROSENBAUM FAMILY

Erie Skoczylas and children 
Avi, 15, Alyssa, 12, and Emma, 
5, last year during Chanukah

REBECCA SKOCZYLAS