38 | NOVEMBER 28 • 2019

Spirit
torah portion

I

t is so exciting to finally
arrive at the beginning of a
new year. Everything seems
so fresh and full of promise,
like we have a new shot to
approach life just right and
make it whatever we want this
time around.
As we begin the
Torah anew, the vivid
stories of Genesis (so
relatable, so poignant)
throw us valuable
lessons about how to
act, how to treat other
people and, of course,
how to avoid common
relationship pitfalls.
The timing is perfect.
This week, as we
read Toldot, the portion
opens with Isaac and
Rebecca unsuccessfully
attempting to conceive.
We read that “Isaac pleaded to
Adonai on behalf of his wife
because she was barren; and
Adonai responded to his plea,
and his wife Rebecca con-
ceived” (Genesis 25:21).
Although the Torah text
singles out Isaac’
s prayer, Rashi
imagines both in one room,
across from each other. It’
s
a lovely vignette, individual
and yet shared hopes prayed
mightily, simultaneously.
Several commentators fur-
ther remark on the depth and
sincerity of Isaac’
s prayer, leav-
ing an impression of a couple
truly united in their desire for
a child.
As the Torah tells it, that is
enough to make their wish
come true. It’
s tidy, simple and,
in this telling, even seems easy.
In this lone verse we learn of
the problem, the solution and
the happy result. It’
s a brisk,
linear progression that ulti-
mately serves as the setup to a
larger story.
Unfortunately, this pat
portrayal of the challenge of
infertility does not reflect the
reality lived by most people

experiencing it. Rather, it is
a sensitive, painful journey
that quickly becomes all-con-
suming — and, moreover, is
typically suffered in silence.
(Particularly if the person
already has one or more chil-
dren.) Well-meaning but
thoughtless comments
(“We’
re all waiting for big
news!” “Isn’
t it time you
had another?”) become
stinging barbs, forcing
someone to conceal
or confront their own
struggle while in their
office at work, in line at
Target or at a party.
Please, if these are
comments you have
found yourself making,
consider the feelings
they might evoke in
the listener. Consider
finding other topics to discuss
that are less likely to ignite
the sense of powerlessness
and shame to which infertility
often leads. Your choice of
conversation starters can make
a big difference to someone
walking a difficult path.
Most of all, if you yourself
are contending with infertility,
please know that there is sup-
port in the Jewish community.
If you have a rabbi you trust,
reach out and let her be there
for you.
Hebrew Free Loan offers
financial support for fertil-
ity treatments as well as for
adoption. Hasidah, a national
organization, offers financial
support, too, as well as a wide
variety of resources.
Isaac did the right thing by
standing with Rebecca and
lifting his voice in prayer. Let’
s
emulate him in 5780 by grow-
ing in our own sensitivity and
support for those struggling
with infertility today.

Rabbi Megan Brudney is a rabbi
at Temple Beth El in Bloomfield
Township.

Parshat

Toldot:

Genesis

25:19-28:9;

Malachi

1:1-2:7.

Rabbi Megan
Brudney

Sensitivity To Others

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