38 | NOVEMBER 28 • 2019 

Spirit
torah portion

I

t is so exciting to finally 
arrive at the beginning of a 
new year. Everything seems 
so fresh and full of promise, 
like we have a new shot to 
approach life just right and 
make it whatever we want this 
time around.
As we begin the 
Torah anew, the vivid 
stories of Genesis (so 
relatable, so poignant) 
throw us valuable 
lessons about how to 
act, how to treat other 
people and, of course, 
how to avoid common 
relationship pitfalls. 
The timing is perfect.
This week, as we 
read Toldot, the portion 
opens with Isaac and 
Rebecca unsuccessfully 
attempting to conceive. 
We read that “Isaac pleaded to 
Adonai on behalf of his wife 
because she was barren; and 
Adonai responded to his plea, 
and his wife Rebecca con-
ceived” (Genesis 25:21). 
Although the Torah text 
singles out Isaac’
s prayer, Rashi 
imagines both in one room, 
across from each other. It’
s 
a lovely vignette, individual 
and yet shared hopes prayed 
mightily, simultaneously. 
Several commentators fur-
ther remark on the depth and 
sincerity of Isaac’
s prayer, leav-
ing an impression of a couple 
truly united in their desire for 
a child.
As the Torah tells it, that is 
enough to make their wish 
come true. It’
s tidy, simple and, 
in this telling, even seems easy. 
In this lone verse we learn of 
the problem, the solution and 
the happy result. It’
s a brisk, 
linear progression that ulti-
mately serves as the setup to a 
larger story. 
Unfortunately, this pat 
portrayal of the challenge of 
infertility does not reflect the 
reality lived by most people 

experiencing it. Rather, it is 
a sensitive, painful journey 
that quickly becomes all-con-
suming — and, moreover, is 
typically suffered in silence. 
(Particularly if the person 
already has one or more chil-
dren.) Well-meaning but 
thoughtless comments 
(“We’
re all waiting for big 
news!” “Isn’
t it time you 
had another?”) become 
stinging barbs, forcing 
someone to conceal 
or confront their own 
struggle while in their 
office at work, in line at 
Target or at a party. 
Please, if these are 
comments you have 
found yourself making, 
consider the feelings 
they might evoke in 
the listener. Consider 
finding other topics to discuss 
that are less likely to ignite 
the sense of powerlessness 
and shame to which infertility 
often leads. Your choice of 
conversation starters can make 
a big difference to someone 
walking a difficult path. 
Most of all, if you yourself 
are contending with infertility, 
please know that there is sup-
port in the Jewish community. 
If you have a rabbi you trust, 
reach out and let her be there 
for you. 
Hebrew Free Loan offers 
financial support for fertil-
ity treatments as well as for 
adoption. Hasidah, a national 
organization, offers financial 
support, too, as well as a wide 
variety of resources.
Isaac did the right thing by 
standing with Rebecca and 
lifting his voice in prayer. Let’
s 
emulate him in 5780 by grow-
ing in our own sensitivity and 
support for those struggling 
with infertility today. 

Rabbi Megan Brudney is a rabbi 
at Temple Beth El in Bloomfield 
Township.

Parshat 

Toldot: 

Genesis 

25:19-28:9; 

Malachi

1:1-2:7.

Rabbi Megan 
Brudney

Sensitivity To Others

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