50 | NOVEMBER 21 • 2019
Spirit
torah portion
T
his week’
s portion
begins with the death
of Sarah. It teaches us
about death and also about
life.
We are told at the very
beginning that “
Abraham
proceeded to mourn for
Sarah and to bewail her. Then
Abraham rose from
beside his dead and
spoke to the Hittites
saying, ‘
... sell me a
burial site among you
that I may remove
my dead for burial.
’
”
[Genesis 23:2-4]
We learn from this
that not only do we
mourn for our loved
ones, but also it is our
responsibility to make
arrangements for their
burial. Based upon this
and other biblical texts,
Jewish mourning customs
develop.
There are two basic prin-
ciples by which Jewish death
and mourning rites are gov-
erned: k’
vod ha-met, “the dig-
nified or respectful treatment
of the dead,
” and k’
vod he-chai,
“the honored treatment of the
living (the surviving relatives).
”
There are specific laws and
customs associated with the
burial of loved ones and the
mourning rituals included
therein. However, Judaism is
not a religion of death, but
rather of life.
Once Abraham purchases
a burial site for his beloved
Sarah, he returns to concerns
of life, in particular, finding a
wife for his son Isaac so that
life will continue through
the next generation. Genesis
24 tells the lengthy story of
Abraham sending his servant
back to Abraham’
s homeland
to find a wife for Isaac. The
servant finds Rebecca, whose
family and Rebecca herself
agree to a marriage with Isaac.
Near the end of Genesis 24, we
learn of Isaac and Rebecca’
s
first meeting. “Isaac then
brought her into the tent of
his mother, Sarah, and he
took Rebecca as his wife. Isaac
loved her and thus found com-
fort after his mother’
s death.
”
(Genesis 24:67)
Life not only contin-
ues for Isaac, but for his
father Abraham as well.
In the very next verse, we
are told that “
Abraham
took another wife, whose
name was Keturah.
” The
text continues with a list
of the sons that Keturah
and Abraham had.
We learn an important
lesson from these stories
of Abraham and Isaac: As
much as they loved their
beloved Sarah, their lives
had to continue, Abraham
with another wife and children
and Isaac with his marriage to
Rebecca (and eventual chil-
dren).
Judaism teaches that life
is to continue following the
death of a loved one. But we
are not to forget our loved
one; Judaism gives us plenty
of ways to mark the death of
loved ones through the yearly
observance of yahrtzeit and
four times a year through
yizkor.
Of course, we also remem-
ber them on days other than
those mentioned; but we must
carry on with our lives. We do
not move on but rather move
forward in our lives. We keep
our loved ones in our hearts as
we honor their memories by
continuing to live good lives,
lives of which they would be
proud.
Rabbi Amy B. Bigman is rabbi at
Congregation Shaarey Zedek in East
Lansing.
Parshat
Chaye Sara:
Genesis
23:1-25:18;
I Kings
1:1-31.
Rabbi Amy
Bigman
Moving Forward
4460
Orchard
Lake
Rd.,
West
Bloomfield,
MI
48323
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