50 | NOVEMBER 21 • 2019 

Spirit
torah portion

T

his week’
s portion 
begins with the death 
of Sarah. It teaches us 
about death and also about 
life. 
We are told at the very 
beginning that “
Abraham 
proceeded to mourn for 
Sarah and to bewail her. Then 
Abraham rose from 
beside his dead and 
spoke to the Hittites 
saying, ‘
... sell me a 
burial site among you 
that I may remove 
my dead for burial.
’
” 
[Genesis 23:2-4] 
We learn from this 
that not only do we 
mourn for our loved 
ones, but also it is our 
responsibility to make 
arrangements for their 
burial. Based upon this 
and other biblical texts, 
Jewish mourning customs 
develop.
 There are two basic prin-
ciples by which Jewish death 
and mourning rites are gov-
erned: k’
vod ha-met, “the dig-
nified or respectful treatment 
of the dead,
” and k’
vod he-chai, 
“the honored treatment of the 
living (the surviving relatives).
” 
 There are specific laws and 
customs associated with the 
burial of loved ones and the 
mourning rituals included 
therein. However, Judaism is 
not a religion of death, but 
rather of life. 
 Once Abraham purchases 
a burial site for his beloved 
Sarah, he returns to concerns 
of life, in particular, finding a 
wife for his son Isaac so that 
life will continue through 
the next generation. Genesis 
24 tells the lengthy story of 
Abraham sending his servant 
back to Abraham’
s homeland 
to find a wife for Isaac. The 
servant finds Rebecca, whose 
family and Rebecca herself 

agree to a marriage with Isaac.
Near the end of Genesis 24, we 
learn of Isaac and Rebecca’
s 
first meeting. “Isaac then 
brought her into the tent of 
his mother, Sarah, and he 
took Rebecca as his wife. Isaac 
loved her and thus found com-
fort after his mother’
s death.
” 
(Genesis 24:67)
 Life not only contin-
ues for Isaac, but for his 
father Abraham as well. 
In the very next verse, we 
are told that “
Abraham 
took another wife, whose 
name was Keturah.
” The 
text continues with a list 
of the sons that Keturah 
and Abraham had.
We learn an important 
lesson from these stories 
of Abraham and Isaac: As 
much as they loved their 
beloved Sarah, their lives 
had to continue, Abraham 
with another wife and children 
and Isaac with his marriage to 
Rebecca (and eventual chil-
dren).
Judaism teaches that life 
is to continue following the 
death of a loved one. But we 
are not to forget our loved 
one; Judaism gives us plenty 
of ways to mark the death of 
loved ones through the yearly 
observance of yahrtzeit and 
four times a year through 
yizkor. 
Of course, we also remem-
ber them on days other than 
those mentioned; but we must 
carry on with our lives. We do 
not move on but rather move 
forward in our lives. We keep 
our loved ones in our hearts as 
we honor their memories by 
continuing to live good lives, 
lives of which they would be 
proud. 

Rabbi Amy B. Bigman is rabbi at 
Congregation Shaarey Zedek in East 
Lansing.

Parshat 

Chaye Sara: 

Genesis 

23:1-25:18;

I Kings

1:1-31.

Rabbi Amy 
Bigman

Moving Forward

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