SPRING
OPEN STUDIO

jews d

in
the

sponsored
by our
community
partners

continued from page 14

FRI., MAY 4TH, 4-8 PM

Portion of the proceeds

SAT., MAY 5TH, 12-6 PM

donated to the Michigan

SUN., MAY 6TH, 12-6 PM

Humane Society

Free, public event with live

epiphanyglass.com

glassblowing demonstrations

Call 248.745.3786 for Info

One-of-a-Kind

770 Orchard Lake Rd

Sculptures + Gifts

Pontiac, MI 48341

000000

MEMORY CARE

C EDARBROO K

SENIOR LIVING

BLOOMFIELD HILLS

Call Today
to Schedule Your Tour!

248.629.0132

41150 Woodward Avenue, Bloomfield Hills
Located just 1/2 Mile North of Long Lake Road
www.CedarbrookofBloomfieldHills.com

Limited All Inclusive Memory Care Rates Available!

Assisted
Living

Memory
Care

Skilled
Nursing

Celebrating Life Every Day

TM

16

May 3 • 2018

and anxiety that caused her to harm
herself, but her father still regrets
being unable to help her at the time.
“When I finally found out, I felt
really sad and sorry that I didn’t know
what she was going through,” he said.
While Alana’s parents were initially
shocked to learn their daughter was
cutting herself, they knew they had to
stay calm to give her the support she
needed.
“We understand that mental illness
is a disease; it’s not a character flaw,
and it’s not in her control,” Lori said.
“Not all parents do understand that.
It’s not who she is, but something she
has, and she knows we feel that way.”

COPING STRATEGIES

Daitch teaches her clients several self-
soothing techniques, which are espe-
cially helpful with impulse-control
issues such as cutting. She believes
teens engage in self-harm for different
reasons that include frustration, sad-
ness, anxiety, stress over school and
other issues. Being able to label the
feelings and tolerate difficult emotions
is key to managing feelings without
resorting to self-harm.
Alana’s therapist also offered her
strategies for managing anxiety, such
as taking a bath, listening to music
or even holding ice cubes to ward off
panicky feelings.
“I’m happy to hear the sound of the
bath because it means she’s coping,”
Lori said. “She’s finding healthy coping
mechanisms, and she’s really enjoying
learning what can help.” •

Editor’s note: Anonymous names were used in
this story. However, “Alana” and her mother,
“Lori,” say they are available to anyone strug-
gling with this issue who would like to talk
with them. To reach out to them, contact
writer Ronelle Grier at ronellegrier@gmail.com.

Signs Of Self-Harm

Now Offering!
Memory Care
“Respite” Suites

Independent
Living

fear and shame in the teen.
“It’s important for the parent to stay
calm,” Daitch says. “It’s distressful to
see your child suffering, alarm bells
can go off with cutting, but it’s impor-
tant for parents to regulate their emo-
tions. If they (the teens) feel they’re
upsetting their parents, they may not
be as open.”
While parents may initially feel
guilty if they were unaware of the
behavior, Daitch stresses that self-
harm is a mental health issue and not
the result of bad parenting.
“It’s nobody’s fault; mental illnesses
run in families,” Daitch says, explain-
ing that self-harm can be triggered by
depression, anxiety or other condi-
tions such as OCD related to bipolar
disorder. “It doesn’t mean you are bad
parents.”
One mother, Sherri, learned her
daughter was cutting herself when she
arrived home one day and found her
daughter with dozens of small, super-
ficial cuts on her legs and two deeper
cuts (made accidentally) that required
stitches.
“I was shocked and saddened by
this, and I wanted to help her,” she
said.
At the hospital, questions from the
medical professionals caused Sherri
to feel ashamed and embarrassed that
she was unaware her daughter was
engaging in this behavior.
“I have a close relationship with my
daughter and she was seeing a thera-
pist for anxiety and stress, but she was
hiding this behavior at home under
long sleeves and pants,” said Sherri
(not her real name).
One father learned years later that
his now-35-year-old daughter was cut-
ting herself during high school. She
has since stopped the behavior and
gotten treatment for the depression

jn

EQUAL HOUSING
OPPORTUNITY

• A group of small linear cuts or
bruises grouped on the arms or legs
• Several bandages in one place
that cannot be attributed to a single
incident or injury
• Long pants or long sleeves in
warm weather, clothes that cover more
areas of the skin than would be appro-
priate for current temperatures
• Missing knives, razors, Xacto
knives, art tools and other sharp
objects
• Hiding the body while dressing or
changing clothes — adolescents often
cut in hidden areas like their inner

thighs or stomachs, so if your teen
suddenly refuses to change in front of
you, it could be a red flag.
• Traces of blood in bathrooms and
bedrooms
• Online computer history contains
websites that are proponents for cut-
ting and self-harm
• Changes in mood, withdrawing
from friends or avoiding things they
used to enjoy
• Changes in eating habits; eating
disorders can be concurrent with self-
harm.