SPRING OPEN STUDIO jews d in the sponsored by our community partners continued from page 14 FRI., MAY 4TH, 4-8 PM Portion of the proceeds SAT., MAY 5TH, 12-6 PM donated to the Michigan SUN., MAY 6TH, 12-6 PM Humane Society Free, public event with live epiphanyglass.com glassblowing demonstrations Call 248.745.3786 for Info One-of-a-Kind 770 Orchard Lake Rd Sculptures + Gifts Pontiac, MI 48341 000000 MEMORY CARE C EDARBROO K SENIOR LIVING BLOOMFIELD HILLS Call Today to Schedule Your Tour! 248.629.0132 41150 Woodward Avenue, Bloomfield Hills Located just 1/2 Mile North of Long Lake Road www.CedarbrookofBloomfieldHills.com Limited All Inclusive Memory Care Rates Available! Assisted Living Memory Care Skilled Nursing Celebrating Life Every Day TM 16 May 3 • 2018 and anxiety that caused her to harm herself, but her father still regrets being unable to help her at the time. “When I finally found out, I felt really sad and sorry that I didn’t know what she was going through,” he said. While Alana’s parents were initially shocked to learn their daughter was cutting herself, they knew they had to stay calm to give her the support she needed. “We understand that mental illness is a disease; it’s not a character flaw, and it’s not in her control,” Lori said. “Not all parents do understand that. It’s not who she is, but something she has, and she knows we feel that way.” COPING STRATEGIES Daitch teaches her clients several self- soothing techniques, which are espe- cially helpful with impulse-control issues such as cutting. She believes teens engage in self-harm for different reasons that include frustration, sad- ness, anxiety, stress over school and other issues. Being able to label the feelings and tolerate difficult emotions is key to managing feelings without resorting to self-harm. Alana’s therapist also offered her strategies for managing anxiety, such as taking a bath, listening to music or even holding ice cubes to ward off panicky feelings. “I’m happy to hear the sound of the bath because it means she’s coping,” Lori said. “She’s finding healthy coping mechanisms, and she’s really enjoying learning what can help.” • Editor’s note: Anonymous names were used in this story. However, “Alana” and her mother, “Lori,” say they are available to anyone strug- gling with this issue who would like to talk with them. To reach out to them, contact writer Ronelle Grier at ronellegrier@gmail.com. Signs Of Self-Harm Now Offering! Memory Care “Respite” Suites Independent Living fear and shame in the teen. “It’s important for the parent to stay calm,” Daitch says. “It’s distressful to see your child suffering, alarm bells can go off with cutting, but it’s impor- tant for parents to regulate their emo- tions. If they (the teens) feel they’re upsetting their parents, they may not be as open.” While parents may initially feel guilty if they were unaware of the behavior, Daitch stresses that self- harm is a mental health issue and not the result of bad parenting. “It’s nobody’s fault; mental illnesses run in families,” Daitch says, explain- ing that self-harm can be triggered by depression, anxiety or other condi- tions such as OCD related to bipolar disorder. “It doesn’t mean you are bad parents.” One mother, Sherri, learned her daughter was cutting herself when she arrived home one day and found her daughter with dozens of small, super- ficial cuts on her legs and two deeper cuts (made accidentally) that required stitches. “I was shocked and saddened by this, and I wanted to help her,” she said. At the hospital, questions from the medical professionals caused Sherri to feel ashamed and embarrassed that she was unaware her daughter was engaging in this behavior. “I have a close relationship with my daughter and she was seeing a thera- pist for anxiety and stress, but she was hiding this behavior at home under long sleeves and pants,” said Sherri (not her real name). One father learned years later that his now-35-year-old daughter was cut- ting herself during high school. She has since stopped the behavior and gotten treatment for the depression jn EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY • A group of small linear cuts or bruises grouped on the arms or legs • Several bandages in one place that cannot be attributed to a single incident or injury • Long pants or long sleeves in warm weather, clothes that cover more areas of the skin than would be appro- priate for current temperatures • Missing knives, razors, Xacto knives, art tools and other sharp objects • Hiding the body while dressing or changing clothes — adolescents often cut in hidden areas like their inner thighs or stomachs, so if your teen suddenly refuses to change in front of you, it could be a red flag. • Traces of blood in bathrooms and bedrooms • Online computer history contains websites that are proponents for cut- ting and self-harm • Changes in mood, withdrawing from friends or avoiding things they used to enjoy • Changes in eating habits; eating disorders can be concurrent with self- harm.