COMING
SOON
For Showtimes and
Tickets, please visit
themapletheater.com
jews d
in
the
family counseling
Who Is Deserving?
HOST YOUR NEXT EVENT AT THE MAPLE!
D
"SFZPVQMBOOJOHBTPDJBMPSDPSQPSBUF
FWFOU ø5IF.BQMF5IFBUFSBOE,JUDIFOJT
UIFQFSGFDUQMBDFGPSBVOJRVFFYQFSJFODFø
'VMMDBUFSJOHTFSWJDFTQMVTXPOEFSGVM
BNCJFODF&WFSZUIJOHJTQPTTJCMFø
$POUBDUSVUI!UIFNBQMFUIFBUFSDPNPSDBMM
$PNFUBTUFXIBUFWFSZPOFJTUBMLJOHBCPVU
0QFOGPSMVODIBOEEJOOFSEBJMZ
'PS$BSSZPVUQMFBTFDBMMtUIFNBQMFUIFBUFSDPN
Proudly
Serving:
8.BQMF3PBEt#MPPNýFME)JMMTø
5IF"SUPG'JMNt5IF"SUPG'PPE
'PSUIF#&45-6963:NPWJFFYQFSJFODF
DIFDLPVU THE
RIVIERA.
t is
This sea r you!
o
waiting f
FILMS COMING SOON
For showtimes and to purchase tickets, please visit therivieracinema.com
(SBOE3JWFS"WFOVF 'BSNJOHUPO)JMMT
(off of 9 mile, just West of Middlebelt)
Have a FREE*
POPCORN on us!
Valid at The Maple & The Riviera
Expires 2/28/17
*Small bag of popcorn
34
January 26 • 2017
jn
Daniel
Rosenbaum,
Ph.D., LMSW
o you ever think you deserve something — a good
meal, a raise or a person’s love? Do you buy things
because you believe you deserve them? Do you
deny yourself things because you doubt you truly deserve
them?
How do you even decide what you deserve? Do you
determine it? Or do others decide your life’s social or emo-
tional necessities?
Recently, a friend was having a bad day. After describing
a series of horrible events, she construed that for some
unknown reason she deserved it. Not long thereafter,
another friend was in
a bad car accident. He
responded in the oppo-
site way, concluding that
in no way did he deserve
this.
After eating a great
meal we had made, we
expressed our satis-
faction by saying that
indeed we work hard so
we deserve this wonder-
ful repast.
Events like these
makes one consider how we decide what we deserve or
what we deny ourselves.
Most people feel they deserve respect. Respect, however,
is not a given; it must be earned. Some people feel they
do not get the respect they feel they deserve. A parent or
spouse can demand respect; but won’t get it if interactions
are disrespectful or punitive. If you want respect, demon-
strate it by showing respect for others.
Certainly, we all want happiness in life. We hope to grow
up in a functioning family, be satisfied at work or have a
successful marriage. Still, we can feel slighted when we
are denied anything that compromises our happiness. The
things that make us happy — like promotions or awards —
sometimes go to others who may be more worthy.
Too often, we compare what we want to what others
have. Deserving, however, does not equal acquisition. Why
does one person attend college on a scholarship while
someone equally deserving works hard to pay off student
loans? Comparing what you lack to what others have can
lead to anger, jealousy or self-recrimination. Our successes,
after all, are based on ability and effort, rarely on luck or
fate.
Some measure what they deserve by how much they
have rather than the quality of what they have. Garnering
many things of lesser quality, however, does not substitute
for superior things you want. Demanding more money or
time off from an unsatisfying job does not confirm that you
deserve either.
Truly, nothing you think you deserve is ever assured; you
can only expect to get out of life what you put into it. So, by
offering love honestly and treating others with respect, we
are attuned to know what each of us deserves.
As the Rolling Stones said: “You can’t always get what
you want; you get what you need.” Such is it with what we
deserve. •
Dr. Daniel Rosenbaum is a clinical social worker at Counseling Associates
Inc. in West Bloomfield.