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Strengthen Those Jewish Ties
Dear Debra
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is talking multiple
sclerosis (MS) and
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Debra Darvick
S
end your questions to deardebra@
renmedia.us or look for an anonymous
question submission form on Debra’s online
column at www.thejewishnews.com.
DEAR DEBRA,
After reading last month’s article about Jewish
families decorating trees, I began to think about
having one in our house next year. Our son has
been asking for a tree and, like one of the moms
in the article, I don’t want him not to like being
Jewish because he’s missing out. Would it really be
wrong to have a tree next year?
~ Confused
DW 30
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34
January 12 • 2017
jn
DEAR CONFUSED,
In a word, yes. Holiday tree, Chanukah bush, sol-
stice shrub, it’s all the same thing — Jews trying
to sanitize a dominant Christian symbol because
they feel lacking. Your son doesn’t need a tree; he
needs roots.
Your child is missing out. But what he’s miss-
ing out on is the richness of Jewish life. More
than anything, kids want their parents’ time and
attention. Use the Jewish holiday calendar to
create loving memories with your child. Space
prevents me from hitting them all or going into
depth and instruction. Subscribe to kveller.com.
Read Jewish books. Join a synagogue. This paper
is filled with opportunities for young families
seeking to strengthen their Jewish muscle. We are
blessed with amazing community resources. Tap
into them!
Shabbat is a perfect time to devote your-
selves to your kids in ways you can’t during the
week. Start slowly. Make your family’s Shabbat
experience distinct and special. Light and bless
candles (in Hebrew or English) before your Friday
night meal. Serve bubbly grape juice and recite
Kiddush. A couple loaves of challah and the motzi
(blessing over bread) will distinguish your meal
even if you’re ordering in. Buy special games to
play on Friday night and Saturday. Invite friends
to celebrate with you. Start once a month and
expand.
Tu b’Shevat marks the coming of spring in
Israel. Though not widely celebrated, you can
still take the opportunity to mark Jewish time.
Cut off the tops of some carrots and put them in
a little flat dish of water. Keep your dish watered
and, before you know it, the carrot tops will start
to sprout like magic. Jewish magic. Or plant little
seeds of parsley that you can harvest for Passover.
But before you get there, celebrate Purim. Dress
up in costumes; go to one of the area’s synagogue
carnivals. Find a kid-friendly service to hear the
Megillah read. Make hamentashen with another
family. As you roll the dough, talk about what
being Jewish means.
On to Passover. Frogs! Hail! Dipping that home-
grown parsley. Acting out the Exodus. Staying
up later than late. There are books galore and
Haggadahs written specifically for young families.
There is a ceremony of seeking out chametz (leav-
ened bread and other things) involving a wooden
spoon, a feather and a candle performed the
night before Pesach begins. It’s meaningful. It’s
fun. It’s Jewish.
By the time you tire of matzah, Israel
Independence Day, Yom Yerushalayim and Yom
HaShoah are coming. I’ll leave the last two to
you to research, but the community’s yearly
Walk for Israel is another chance to be with
other Jewish families, have some pizza and show
the world (or at least West Bloomfield) where
you stand as you walk.
Tisha b’Av is not so kid-friendly, so look to Rosh
Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot and Simchat
Torah. Whatever way you slice it, you have oodles
of ways to engage your child in meaningful Jewish
experiences within the synagogue and without.
Go apple picking and buy local honey from a
beekeeper. Use Yom Kippur as a time to reflect
on behavior. Forgiveness is a two-way street. Ask
your child’s forgiveness for something you regret
having done. It sets an enormous example when
a parent admits his/her own failings and apolo-
gizes.
Sukkot puts Christmas tree envy to bed once
and for all. Build or visit a sukkah. Let your kids
decorate to their hearts’ content. Paper chains,
strings of lights, streamers, artwork. Waving the
lulav and inhaling an etrog’s lemony scent hard-
wire Jewish sensory memories. Ditto eating in a
sukkah. Simchat Torah celebrations abound at
community synagogues. Check your Jewish News
when the time comes.
Now you’re back to Chanukah, the holiday
commemorating an ancient Jewish battle fought
against the ruling Greeks and assimilated Jews
for the right to maintain Jewish life and ritual. Fry
up some latkes. Let your child choose and light
his own Chanukiah (Chanukah menorah). Play
dreidel; maybe even go nuts on presents.
Spend the coming year focusing on the roots,
and the tree won’t loom so large ever again. •