COMMUNIIT
MAVEN
Dear Debra
end your questions to deardebra@renmedia.us
or look for an anonymous question submission form
on Debra's online column at www.thejewishnews.com.
Debra Darvick
magazine
Dear Debra,
Through
the years, I have given
birthday
and Chanukah gifts to my nephew's son
and daughter. They used to live in-state
A
new
winner every month!
redthreadmagazine.com for details
Dear Debra,
and moved away a few years ago.
When they lived here, I would at least
get a phone call from my nephew's wife
All of a sudden my wife is on a mad tear
to ''clean out the house." She wants to
for our gifts. Since they've
thanking
been gone, no gift has ever been ac
knowledged. I know they receive them
the years from our various trips and
antiquing. She has lost all sentimental
ity and keeps pushing me to throw out
everything that makes our house a
home. How can I stop her from trashing
40 years' worth of our treasures?
me
visit
honor of the kids' birthdays and have
the acknowledgement sent to them.)
because I send everything certified.
At 8 and 11, the kids are old enough
to write thank- you notes. I don't want
them to suffer because their parents
have taught them no manners, but I am
exasperated. Do I stop sending gifts?
-No Thonks
get rid of everything we have collected
over
-Thrown
Dear Thrown,
It must be
an
unwritten rule of rela
tionships that Keepers always marry
compromise are key to re-establishing
simplest answer is yes, quit
sending gifts to people who cannot
harmony.
Assuming your wife is not suffering
-
-
tion. The
6 Person V.I.P. PASS Go Wild!
V. I. P. Pass includes the Drive-Thru
Safari, Walk-thru Safari,
Educational Animal Show, Rig Race, Camel Rides and
*
cup of food. 6 people at any age.
one
free
manage
a
thank you, be it written,
phoned, emailed, texted or sent by
carrier pigeon.
But as you know, this issue is compli
cated by familial ties and not wanting
to
punish
kids for their
parents'lack of
courtesy. You can try any number of
remedies, none of which will guaran
thank-you notes and some
of which might sever an already tenu
ous relationship, although affording
tee future
267 S
Lightner Rd.
Port Clinton, Ohio 43452
momentary satisfaction.
419.732.3606
A month
or so
a
Ann of West Bloomfield
after you know the
$100 GIFT CARD TO PRIME 10 IN
Prizes may vary and prize must be claimed within 30
our
days of winning or they are voided.
have cute person
aggressive route
alized cards printed up for each child
with a note, "I know you'll be receiving
a lot of gifts for your birthday, and I
wanted you to have pretty stationery
-
giveaways
Are donated
our
or may not get the message. You can
take a more direct approach and say,
"It's disrespectful the gifts I send go
unacknowledged:' Or go the passive
OAK PARK
giveaway
by local advertisers; to be considered for a spot
page, please contact us at (248) 351-5107.
in
for your thank-you notes.
Bottom
how to win
www.thejewishnews.com/red-th read-g ive-awayl
This contest opens at noon on the first Thursday of the month and
closes at 3 p.m. on the third Thursday of the month. Winners will
be chosen and notified
by
the end of each month. No
purchase
is
necessary to enter or win. One entry per person per month. Please
note: Winner's name will be printed in the following issue of Red
Thread.
32
August
201Sll@ TDnIJID
Enjoy:'
line, you have to decide how
much the
Enter to win at:
relationship matters. If it is
meaningful to you to know the kids
have something from you, send the
gifts. If you are tired of sending pres
ents to children
from any sort of mental and/or health
imbalances or has not undergone any
other drastic personality shifts, take a
step back and consider she might be
speaking some wisdom here.
Forty years is a lot of time to acquire
treasures. Cut your wife some slack
and tour with her what all you really
have. I bet you'd be surprised at how
much there is. Consider life down the
road. If you had to make a move and/
downsize, imagine the koyech (en
ergy) it's going to take to go through
four-plus decades of stuff. Look further
down the road. How much do you
want your kids or other heirs to have
to deal with at an
already emotionally
fraught time?
response.
That doesn't solve the
etiquette
problem, but at least it's an oblique
reminder to your nephew who may
won
in
or
gifts have landed, call your nephew
and ask sweetly if the presents arrived.
You'll probably get a distracted, "Uh,
yeah. Thanks. Sorry. They love them" as
PRIME 1 0
Discarders. As with any difference
perspective, communication and
Dear No Thanks,
and infuriating
This is a common
dilemma for many of our genera
who you know will not
say thank you, stop. Save your money
or donate it to a worthwhile children's
fund. (Snarky Auntie would donate in
Join your wife in this. Go through
what you have. Everything. Books,
tchotchkes, papers, dishes, clothes. Sa
vor your treasures and save only those
that give you the most joy. Donate
what is serviceable to others; shred
what is no longer financially necessary.
You know you're not going to read
every book on your l'll-qet-to-it-one
day shelf, don't you? BookStock has
drop offs all over town. Funds raised
from their spring sale support many
worthwhile organizations.
No one likes to feel their treasures
are being trashed. The goal is to work
together to create an orderly home
that glows with beloved touchstones
and is free of the clutter of too much
stuff. RT
Debra Darvick shares her unique take on life,
books and more at debradarvick.com.