COMMUNIIT MAVEN Dear Debra end your questions to deardebra@renmedia.us or look for an anonymous question submission form on Debra's online column at www.thejewishnews.com. Debra Darvick magazine Dear Debra, Through the years, I have given birthday and Chanukah gifts to my nephew's son and daughter. They used to live in-state A new winner every month! redthreadmagazine.com for details Dear Debra, and moved away a few years ago. When they lived here, I would at least get a phone call from my nephew's wife All of a sudden my wife is on a mad tear to ''clean out the house." She wants to for our gifts. Since they've thanking been gone, no gift has ever been ac­ knowledged. I know they receive them the years from our various trips and antiquing. She has lost all sentimental­ ity and keeps pushing me to throw out everything that makes our house a home. How can I stop her from trashing 40 years' worth of our treasures? me visit honor of the kids' birthdays and have the acknowledgement sent to them.) because I send everything certified. At 8 and 11, the kids are old enough to write thank- you notes. I don't want them to suffer because their parents have taught them no manners, but I am exasperated. Do I stop sending gifts? -No Thonks get rid of everything we have collected over -Thrown Dear Thrown, It must be an unwritten rule of rela­ tionships that Keepers always marry compromise are key to re-establishing simplest answer is yes, quit sending gifts to people who cannot harmony. Assuming your wife is not suffering - - tion. The 6 Person V.I.P. PASS Go Wild! V. I. P. Pass includes the Drive-Thru Safari, Walk-thru Safari, Educational Animal Show, Rig Race, Camel Rides and * cup of food. 6 people at any age. one free manage a thank you, be it written, phoned, emailed, texted or sent by carrier pigeon. But as you know, this issue is compli­ cated by familial ties and not wanting to punish kids for their parents'lack of courtesy. You can try any number of remedies, none of which will guaran­ thank-you notes and some of which might sever an already tenu­ ous relationship, although affording tee future 267 S Lightner Rd. Port Clinton, Ohio 43452 momentary satisfaction. 419.732.3606 A month or so a Ann of West Bloomfield after you know the $100 GIFT CARD TO PRIME 10 IN Prizes may vary and prize must be claimed within 30 our days of winning or they are voided. have cute person­ aggressive route alized cards printed up for each child with a note, "I know you'll be receiving a lot of gifts for your birthday, and I wanted you to have pretty stationery - giveaways Are donated our or may not get the message. You can take a more direct approach and say, "It's disrespectful the gifts I send go unacknowledged:' Or go the passive­ OAK PARK giveaway by local advertisers; to be considered for a spot page, please contact us at (248) 351-5107. in for your thank-you notes. Bottom how to win www.thejewishnews.com/red-th read-g ive-awayl This contest opens at noon on the first Thursday of the month and closes at 3 p.m. on the third Thursday of the month. Winners will be chosen and notified by the end of each month. No purchase is necessary to enter or win. One entry per person per month. Please note: Winner's name will be printed in the following issue of Red Thread. 32 August 201Sll@ TDnIJID Enjoy:' line, you have to decide how much the Enter to win at: relationship matters. If it is meaningful to you to know the kids have something from you, send the gifts. If you are tired of sending pres­ ents to children from any sort of mental and/or health imbalances or has not undergone any other drastic personality shifts, take a step back and consider she might be speaking some wisdom here. Forty years is a lot of time to acquire treasures. Cut your wife some slack and tour with her what all you really have. I bet you'd be surprised at how much there is. Consider life down the road. If you had to make a move and/ downsize, imagine the koyech (en­ ergy) it's going to take to go through four-plus decades of stuff. Look further down the road. How much do you want your kids or other heirs to have to deal with at an already emotionally fraught time? response. That doesn't solve the etiquette problem, but at least it's an oblique reminder to your nephew who may won in or gifts have landed, call your nephew and ask sweetly if the presents arrived. You'll probably get a distracted, "Uh, yeah. Thanks. Sorry. They love them" as PRIME 1 0 Discarders. As with any difference perspective, communication and Dear No Thanks, and infuriating This is a common dilemma for many of our genera­ who you know will not say thank you, stop. Save your money or donate it to a worthwhile children's fund. (Snarky Auntie would donate in Join your wife in this. Go through what you have. Everything. Books, tchotchkes, papers, dishes, clothes. Sa­ vor your treasures and save only those that give you the most joy. Donate what is serviceable to others; shred what is no longer financially necessary. You know you're not going to read every book on your l'll-qet-to-it-one­ day shelf, don't you? BookStock has drop offs all over town. Funds raised from their spring sale support many worthwhile organizations. No one likes to feel their treasures are being trashed. The goal is to work together to create an orderly home that glows with beloved touchstones and is free of the clutter of too much stuff. RT Debra Darvick shares her unique take on life, books and more at debradarvick.com.