ECONOMY
HERE AND NOW
COMMUNITY
MAVEN
'Tis The Season (For Giving Back)
Dear Debra
S
'Jewelry Stars Give Back'to help local charities.
end your questions to deardebra@renmedia.us or look
for an anonymous question submission form on Debra's
online column at www.thejewishnews.com .
By Lynne Konstantin
Dear Debra,
D
avid Bradley is a jewelry star.
Never heard of him? You might
have if he's your dentist.
But Bradley, along with 11 other
Metro Detroiters, is about to get
famous for a completely different
reason — helping local charities earn
well-needed funds.
This group of Metro Detroiters —
some names we know, others just
regular folks like us, who happen also
to have a love for fashion — have
been chosen by Tapper's Diamonds
& Fine Jewelry to help their favorite
local charities in a program called
Jewelry Stars Give Back.
Each of the 12 local style icons has
a favorite nonprofit organization that
they want to help raise money for.
And each of those organizations will
receive a $1,000 donation from Tap-
per's — plus one has the opportunity
to win an additional $2,500.
The 12 style stars recorded a brief,
often emotional, video explaining
why the charity they chose is impor-
tant to them and why they've chosen
to help them raise funds.
"The people we asked to partici-
pate in this initiative were chosen
based on the work that we know
they do for the organizations," says
Mark Tapper, president of Tapper's.
"They are friends and custom-
ers, who all have great style and are
tastemakers in their own right, but
we also feel they have the values that
we admire, and we wanted to do
something to help recognize them
for the work they do and the chari-
ties they help'
Launched on Nov. 20 with a
preview party, Jewelry Stars allows
the public to watch each star's video
and learn more about the chosen
organizations, then vote for which
they think should win (at Tapper's
locations or online) through Dec. 31.
The winner of the most votes will
receive the bonus $2,500 toward
their chosen charity. In addition, Go
Fund Me accounts have been set
up for each charity: Voters need to
donate at least $1 to vote, which
adds to the earning potential for the
organizations.
Among the 12 Jewelry Stars are
local celebrities like Drew Smyly, for-
mer Detroit Tiger and current Tampa
Bay Rays player, who has chosen
both the Michigan Humane Society
and the Detroit Tigers Foundation,
and Danialle Karmanos, mom, wife,
40 December 2014 1
1011110D
David Bradley
writer and founder of the Danialle
Karmanos'Work It Out (DKWIO),
which is working to wipe out child-
hood obesity.
Also included is Bradley, owner of
Bradley Dental Family & Cosmetic
Dentistry, whose chosen organiza-
tion is JARC, a non-sectarian, non-
profit organization founded in 1969
by a group of parents concerned
about the future of their children
with developmental disabilities (jarc.
org .).
"My sister has been mentally
handicapped for about 52 years,"
Bradley says."And we've been deal-
ing with JARC as long as we can
remember. They are always there for
us, financially and emotionally, and I
am so glad to support them'
Nancy Rosenthal, a retired reli-
gious-school teacher and supervisor
at Temple Israel in West Bloomfield,
was diagnosed with multiple sclero-
sis 21 years ago and has become very
involved with the Michigan Chapter
of the National Multiple Sclerosis So-
ciety (nationalMSsociety.org ), whose
goal is a world free of MS.
"The money raised goes directly
to research and to help those who
have MS but don't have the money
for a wheelchair or other things they
need," Rosenthal says.
Other organizations on the list
include Hospice of Michigan, the
Michigan Chapter of the Crohn's &
Colitis Foundation of America, the
Capuchin Soup Kitchen, Karmanos
Cancer Institute and more.
For details about Jewelry Stars, the organizations
and to vote by Dec. 31, visit tappers.com.
Nearly 30 years
ago, I had a close
friend whom I met
Debra Darvick
in a mother's group
when our kids were infants. We were
still close when our children started
kindergarten. Then one day she
dropped me as her friend. No expla-
nation, no return of my phone calls
nor acknowledgement of my written
apology for inadvertently hurting
her. I asked what I had done to drive
her away so that I might right the
situation, but I never heard from her
again.
About a year ago, we bumped
into each other at a community
event. She approached me all smiles
and hugs. Then she friended me on
Facebook. I was puzzled and, to be
truthful, really ticked off. She didn't
want me as a real friend 25 years
ago but wants me as a Facebook
friend today? I still have her friend
request but haven't responded.
What should I do?
— Unfriended and Unamused
Dear Un Times Two,
My sympathies to you for being
unfriended at a time when the
word was yet to be coined and
Zuckerberg was still learning
his ABCs. I can understand how
peeved you must be to have this
"friend" resurface and with her the
past hurts she caused. If you want
nothing to do with her, simply de-
lete her friend request. If you want
to open an old can of worms, send
her a message asking the most
obvious question — Why is she
bothering to friend you when she
dropped you decades ago?You can
always accept her request, follow
her posts and gloat over the vapid
trivia she shares. Unless, of course,
in the ensuing years, she's had an
uber life and is into posting end-
less selfies of vacations to exotic
locales with her much-you nger-
drop-dead-handsome second
husband. You don't really want to
know that, do you?
Dear Debra,
For years my husband and I hosted
the family Seder for 30 of our
relatives. My husband and I love
Passover, and now that our children
have children of their own, we are
quite committed to creating a lively
and educational experience for our
grandchildren. My siblings and their
families do not share our perspec-
tive and in the past have arrived
late, complained that we "do too
much" and left early. So last year I
didn't invite them. We had a much
smaller Seder with our immediate
family (still about 15 people) and
had a memorable and meaningful
time.
I am now the family black sheep
for being "uncooperative" and am
already hearing noises from my
siblings about whether I will invite
them and their families back next
year for Seder. I've reminded them
that they did nothing but complain
about how we led our Seder and
that it's best that we celebrate that
holiday separately. But I'm getting a
lot of flak. What should I do?
—
Feeling Like Chopped Liver
Dear Chopped Liver,
You have every right to invite
whom you wish and not to invite
those who disparage your efforts.
But you cannot have your Hil-
lel sandwich and eat it, too. Your
family, instead of copping to their
misbehavior and apologizing, is
making you the bad guy. In lay-
man's terms, we call this an inabil-
ity to behave like a grown-up.
What is more important? Being
with your immediate family or
mollifying the very folks who are
disrespectful of your hospitality
and effort? If you want to add a
hefty spoonful of resentment to
the bitter herbs next Passover, by
all means invite your family, know-
ing they will in all likelihood arrive
late, complain about the length of
the Seder and leave early.
But if you want what you had
last year — a meaningful Seder
with the kiddies chanting the four
questions, scrambling around the
house looking for the Afikomen
and singing about frogs here,
frogs there and frogs jumping
everywhere — then explain calmly
and firmly that your idea of a fam-
ily Seder isn't theirs and it's best
if you celebrate other holidays
together.
Of course, if you really want
your family there and are prepared
for their complaints, then by all
means invite them. Just don't be
surprised when the only questions
they ask are When do we eat? and
When is this over?
Debra Darvick shares her unique take on fife,
books and more at debradarvick.com.