ECONOMY HERE AND NOW COMMUNITY MAVEN 'Tis The Season (For Giving Back) Dear Debra S 'Jewelry Stars Give Back'to help local charities. end your questions to deardebra@renmedia.us or look for an anonymous question submission form on Debra's online column at www.thejewishnews.com . By Lynne Konstantin Dear Debra, D avid Bradley is a jewelry star. Never heard of him? You might have if he's your dentist. But Bradley, along with 11 other Metro Detroiters, is about to get famous for a completely different reason — helping local charities earn well-needed funds. This group of Metro Detroiters — some names we know, others just regular folks like us, who happen also to have a love for fashion — have been chosen by Tapper's Diamonds & Fine Jewelry to help their favorite local charities in a program called Jewelry Stars Give Back. Each of the 12 local style icons has a favorite nonprofit organization that they want to help raise money for. And each of those organizations will receive a $1,000 donation from Tap- per's — plus one has the opportunity to win an additional $2,500. The 12 style stars recorded a brief, often emotional, video explaining why the charity they chose is impor- tant to them and why they've chosen to help them raise funds. "The people we asked to partici- pate in this initiative were chosen based on the work that we know they do for the organizations," says Mark Tapper, president of Tapper's. "They are friends and custom- ers, who all have great style and are tastemakers in their own right, but we also feel they have the values that we admire, and we wanted to do something to help recognize them for the work they do and the chari- ties they help' Launched on Nov. 20 with a preview party, Jewelry Stars allows the public to watch each star's video and learn more about the chosen organizations, then vote for which they think should win (at Tapper's locations or online) through Dec. 31. The winner of the most votes will receive the bonus $2,500 toward their chosen charity. In addition, Go Fund Me accounts have been set up for each charity: Voters need to donate at least $1 to vote, which adds to the earning potential for the organizations. Among the 12 Jewelry Stars are local celebrities like Drew Smyly, for- mer Detroit Tiger and current Tampa Bay Rays player, who has chosen both the Michigan Humane Society and the Detroit Tigers Foundation, and Danialle Karmanos, mom, wife, 40 December 2014 1 1011110D David Bradley writer and founder of the Danialle Karmanos'Work It Out (DKWIO), which is working to wipe out child- hood obesity. Also included is Bradley, owner of Bradley Dental Family & Cosmetic Dentistry, whose chosen organiza- tion is JARC, a non-sectarian, non- profit organization founded in 1969 by a group of parents concerned about the future of their children with developmental disabilities (jarc. org .). "My sister has been mentally handicapped for about 52 years," Bradley says."And we've been deal- ing with JARC as long as we can remember. They are always there for us, financially and emotionally, and I am so glad to support them' Nancy Rosenthal, a retired reli- gious-school teacher and supervisor at Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, was diagnosed with multiple sclero- sis 21 years ago and has become very involved with the Michigan Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis So- ciety (nationalMSsociety.org ), whose goal is a world free of MS. "The money raised goes directly to research and to help those who have MS but don't have the money for a wheelchair or other things they need," Rosenthal says. Other organizations on the list include Hospice of Michigan, the Michigan Chapter of the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America, the Capuchin Soup Kitchen, Karmanos Cancer Institute and more. For details about Jewelry Stars, the organizations and to vote by Dec. 31, visit tappers.com. Nearly 30 years ago, I had a close friend whom I met Debra Darvick in a mother's group when our kids were infants. We were still close when our children started kindergarten. Then one day she dropped me as her friend. No expla- nation, no return of my phone calls nor acknowledgement of my written apology for inadvertently hurting her. I asked what I had done to drive her away so that I might right the situation, but I never heard from her again. About a year ago, we bumped into each other at a community event. She approached me all smiles and hugs. Then she friended me on Facebook. I was puzzled and, to be truthful, really ticked off. She didn't want me as a real friend 25 years ago but wants me as a Facebook friend today? I still have her friend request but haven't responded. What should I do? — Unfriended and Unamused Dear Un Times Two, My sympathies to you for being unfriended at a time when the word was yet to be coined and Zuckerberg was still learning his ABCs. I can understand how peeved you must be to have this "friend" resurface and with her the past hurts she caused. If you want nothing to do with her, simply de- lete her friend request. If you want to open an old can of worms, send her a message asking the most obvious question — Why is she bothering to friend you when she dropped you decades ago?You can always accept her request, follow her posts and gloat over the vapid trivia she shares. Unless, of course, in the ensuing years, she's had an uber life and is into posting end- less selfies of vacations to exotic locales with her much-you nger- drop-dead-handsome second husband. You don't really want to know that, do you? Dear Debra, For years my husband and I hosted the family Seder for 30 of our relatives. My husband and I love Passover, and now that our children have children of their own, we are quite committed to creating a lively and educational experience for our grandchildren. My siblings and their families do not share our perspec- tive and in the past have arrived late, complained that we "do too much" and left early. So last year I didn't invite them. We had a much smaller Seder with our immediate family (still about 15 people) and had a memorable and meaningful time. I am now the family black sheep for being "uncooperative" and am already hearing noises from my siblings about whether I will invite them and their families back next year for Seder. I've reminded them that they did nothing but complain about how we led our Seder and that it's best that we celebrate that holiday separately. But I'm getting a lot of flak. What should I do? — Feeling Like Chopped Liver Dear Chopped Liver, You have every right to invite whom you wish and not to invite those who disparage your efforts. But you cannot have your Hil- lel sandwich and eat it, too. Your family, instead of copping to their misbehavior and apologizing, is making you the bad guy. In lay- man's terms, we call this an inabil- ity to behave like a grown-up. What is more important? Being with your immediate family or mollifying the very folks who are disrespectful of your hospitality and effort? If you want to add a hefty spoonful of resentment to the bitter herbs next Passover, by all means invite your family, know- ing they will in all likelihood arrive late, complain about the length of the Seder and leave early. But if you want what you had last year — a meaningful Seder with the kiddies chanting the four questions, scrambling around the house looking for the Afikomen and singing about frogs here, frogs there and frogs jumping everywhere — then explain calmly and firmly that your idea of a fam- ily Seder isn't theirs and it's best if you celebrate other holidays together. Of course, if you really want your family there and are prepared for their complaints, then by all means invite them. Just don't be surprised when the only questions they ask are When do we eat? and When is this over? Debra Darvick shares her unique take on fife, books and more at debradarvick.com.