spotlight >> mentsh of the month
Easing The Pain
Joe Winter maintains Beth El cemetery
with compassion in every season.
Stacy Gittleman
Special to the Jewish News
W
inter, especially the record-
breaking one Detroit just
endured, can be isolating and
depressing. It is harder still for those observ-
ing an anniversary of a loved one's death to
visit their grave in a snow-covered cemetery.
Fittingly so, a man named Joe Winter,
caretaker at Beth El Memorial Park in
Livonia, eases the sorrow of the mourner by
making sure that certain
graves and the paths lead-
ing to them are cleared
of snow.
For almost three
decades, Winter, 56, has
cared for the cemetery
and lived in a house
just outside the grounds
Joe Winter
where he and his wife,
Claudia, raised their four
children.
Trained as a horticulturist, Winter always
enjoyed working outside and saw his occu-
pation caring for cemetery grounds "just as
interesting as any other landscaping posi-
tion:' He started his cemetery work as a
groundskeeper at Gethsemane Cemetery in
Detroit and then became superintendent of
the Beth El Memorial Park in 1985.
Growing up, his children never thought
the location of their house was odd.
"They always just considered it as one
quiet backyard. I'd let them ride their bikes
on the paths after the gates had closed for the
day," he said.
As superintendent of the cemetery,
Winter's responsibilities include keeping in
daily contact with local rabbis and funeral
directors to schedule burials. He also is the
cemetery's main record keeper.
The cemetery is open every day from
morning until 5 p.m., except Saturday. If a
mourner needs to linger a bit after 5 p.m., he
says he does not mind keeping the cemetery
gates open a bit longer.
As the weather warms, Winter and his
staff keep the lawns mowed and the bushes
trimmed. He provides a supply of American
flags come Memorial Day weekend and
Joe Winter
makes sure Ryan Unati's
headstone is clear each Valentine's Day.
makes sure they stay up on each grave until
Flag Day on June 14.
"Of all the mourners, the toughest ones to
see when they come here are the parents of
young children:' Winter said. He recalled a
woman who lost a young son and visited the
grave nearly every day for eight years.
"Joe Winter deals with human beings dur-
ing the most vulnerable moments of their
lives:' said Rabbi Daniel Syme of Temple
Beth El of Bloomfield Hills. Syme, who has
worked with Winter for 17 years, said over-
seeing a cemetery is a job that not many can
emotionally withstand.
"He supports all who come to the cem-
etery at a time when they are looking for
kindness, when their own inner coping
resources are not there Syme said.
One such person Winter has comforted
in his work is Julie Unatin of Huntington
Woods.
On Valentine's Day, Feb. 14, 2000, Unatin
gave birth to a son, Ryan. Five days later,
baby Ryan died. What should have been the
happiest of days for her, husband, Brian,
and their two daughters turned out to be the
/
worst.
In March of that same year, Unatin, a
teacher consultant for the blind for the
Oakland Intermediate School District,
learned that another co-worker, Kate
Salathiel, also had lost a child.
The deaths of their children have created
a special bond between the two women.
Each winter, they support each other as they
visit their children's gravesites in different
cemeteries — not on the anniversary of their
death, but on the day they were born.
Expecting her arrival at Beth El Memorial
Park, Winter clears a path to Ryan's grave
in advance of her visit. Winter also makes
sure that any snow is brushed away from the
gravestone.
"Every year I know what I will find:'
Unatin said. "A beautiful stone that has been
dusted and cleared; sprinkled with 14 years'
worth of small tokens. Without even being
asked, Joe makes my unbearable Valentine's
Day a bit more bearable:'
❑
To nominate a Mentsh of the Month, contact
Stacy Gittleman at stacy.gittleman@yahoo.com .
-441
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Watch Detroit Public TV (Channel 56) this
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To learn more about the film visit
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THE IRA KAUFMAN CHAPEL
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Directed & Written by
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Sound Recording
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Judith R. Burdick
Original Music Composed
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Original Music Composed by
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78 March 27 • 2014